Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Wills and Kate Tell the Parents: "Go to Denmark and See Them For Yourselves - Unbelievable!"

"Say, Fred, old boy. Have a look at her, eh. All woman. Breasts like two ripe, juicy, organic melons. Take a deep breath as she passes by - lilacs. Mah-velous, isn't it? And a fantastic root, if you don't mind. Look, I sympathise with you, old chap, I do. But, see, the thing is, life is fleeting. Diana was a right pain in the arse, but I did my best. Stayed kind in company, tried to keep up the side. Just like you with this old girl of yours. But then it became too much. Just unbearable. Like you now, if you don't mind me noticing. Aren't you tired of being ripped a new one practically every time you sneeze? My god, man, happiness is out there and can be yours. How many more children are you going to tolerate? Australia's a wonderful land, don't get me wrong, I loved my time at Geelong, but holidaying in a cheap lease house around the corner from those at the lower end of society? You're tougher than me. Do let Camilla and me be a model for you: that you can indeed throw out the old and let in a right, invigorating breath of fresh air. We're all supporting you, you know. What about that beautiful Katja of yours? Your wife was just hideous at my 60th birthday party, whinging to anyone who would listen about only being invited to cocktails. Mummy's still miffed that she ignored our generous invitation to our wedding, but relieved as we all were, that it was cousin Daisy who came over for William's wedding - bad enough to have to deal with that strange fruit Julia Gillard, why deal with the torture of two Aussie bogans? Break free, good boy, there's still plenty of life left to live."

Clarence House announced yesterday that Their Royal Highnesses The Prince of Wales and the Duchess of Cornwall will be travelling to Norway, Sweden and Denmark to meet the people and enterprises of these countries whose monarchs are royal cousins, all under the guise of Elizabeth II's diamond jubilee. In Denmark, Daisy and Henrik will be hosting an official dinner and the British royal couple will visit - often in the company of Frex and Yrma! - a theatre workshop at Kronborg Castle, attend a service at the Anglican church, meet Afghanistan veterans, visit a power station, then travel to Jutland to visit a local university's organic farm. Basically, do in a couple of days what the local royals cannot muster in their lifetimes. The only green that will coat Fred and Mary should be envy!

While in Norway, they will meet with survivors of the Oslo and Utøya massacres of last year, something the neighbouring Danes have not done in addition to not attending the memorial service in Oslo that even a pregnant Vickan did. In Sweden, the royal couple will be able to meet and coo at Vickan's new baby while Auntie Mary tries to bury his or her birth in the headlines with new "royal beauty/superstar Mary" narcissistic antics. It's bad enough that Mary's bestie Amber Petty has already rejected Charles as King once Elizabeth II dies. Awkward!

Tweet: Clarence House

Article: BT

Prince Charles and Camilla Are Coming to Denmark

Britain's future monarch heads out on a Nordic tour, and shall also pay a visit to Denmark.

The 63-year-old Prince Charles will come to the Nordic countries with his 64-year-old wife Camilla Parker Bowles in March. Britain's heir will be in Denmark for three days from 24 March to 27 March, according to a court statement.

It is the first time the two will be on an official visit together in Denmark.

During their stay, Prince Charles and the Duchess of Cornwall will among other things visit Avedøreværket, Gyldenrisparken housing, the Citadel - where they will be greeted at the soldiers who have been deployed in Afghanistan - which will be followed by a Hamlet workshop at Kronborg Castle. The focal points of the visit are trade and green technology, where Prince Charles has previously expressed interest.

Beginning in Norway

The couple begin their visit to the Nordic countries by arriving in Norway on 20 March and then head over to meet the Swedish royal family.

Prince Charles is Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip's eldest son and his formal title is the Prince of Wales. He has been married to Camilla since 2005.

The younger generation of the British royal family, Prince Charles' eldest son William, whom he had with the late Princess Diana, and his wife Kate visited Denmark last fall.


  1. Stiff, false Yrma is the looser here, Camilla has a very astute sense of humour, and is rather quick off the mark, she'll leave the bogan pretender to the Danish throne gasping for air...Camilla isn't spelt Prada!

  2. Indeed, lupie! It will be fun to see the stunned, confused look ever present on Yrma's face in the wake of Camilla's sharp wit. A couple of days with these losers and the Brits will make mush of them!