Friday, June 1, 2012

It's Official: Yrma Is a Horrible, Neglectful Mother. But You Knew That Already.

Don't tell me this poor child gets love and affection on a regular basis. "Oh, my goodness, what is this niceness, more please, oh Farfar, what is this wonderful feeling of love? It's like you care!"


Schackenborg: 12,936, Boganborg: 0

Sweet grampy Henrik has, with yesterday's visit to the Elephant House at the zoo, decided to take on all four of his oldest grandchildren for occasional semi-official visits to places and events that might interest them. Makes sense, after all, he has escorted the older Schackenborg boys to many events over the years and individually, he had brought Xian to this zoo with his Nanny Mette, who was then promptly sacked in the aftermath of the cuddly affectionate photos that resulted from that visit. (Henrik is known for his loyalty and long-standing relationships, so it would not be surprising if Mette Hansen was invited to the christening of the twins on Henrik's explicit invitation.)

So, now Xian, aged 6 1/2 and Izzy, aged 5, seem old enough to accompany Farfar Henrik to this event with their Schackenborg cousins. What a PR disaster for Mary! Henrik is clearly trying to dote on the children, give them much needed attention and affection, he even has the two half-gargoyles seated on either side of him, for supervision and special feelings. The older boys are well-behaved enough to be trusted to the aisle seats. But it's pretty clear that Henrik will never be able to make up to Xian and Izzy the amount of love, discipline, affection and structure they so clearly lack in their lives.

The only thing Mary seems concerned with is their clothing: both are in Burberryesque coats for kids. Colossal waste of money, and you know she paid retail for those coats because she is a dangerous brand risk and seems to revel in receipts as only a cash-poor bogan wannebe would. Those tailored, lovely coats are the only things that show someone cares about those kids. Izzy's hair is a stringy mess, as usual, and her pants legs have clearly been unhemed, so those jeans have been in the royal dresser for years, and may have even been Xian's. They even look tight on her little legs, but that shouldn't be a surprise. Mary's been shoving her feet into too small space booties for years and dressing poor Iz in clothing she wore in previous years, seemingly forgetting that children fricking grow!

Xn and Izzy get through the tough part of the event - sitting still and listening - by yawning, fidgeting, crawling on the ground and alternating leaning forward and back in their seats. Later, they are the only ones crawling all over the plaza and elephant figurines. It's pretty damn clear that they have no set bedtime or morning routine, god knows if they get a regular, decent breakfast. Xian seems particularly unattached to the people and things around him; his dullard look follows his, extraordinarily even when his is spazzing out! Major fail for the mothering icon. Mary truly is a narcissist and her children are just proving that point constantly. Look at the contrast between her unveiling the fifth portrait of herself while her children were spazzing out at the zoo on the same day.

Thank goodness for the Schackenborg boys! It has been pretty clear that Joachim and Alexandra have worked very hard with these boys to provide them a balance between being active, intelligent, inquisitive boys and being the grandchildren of the sovereign and acting like it. Even naturally active and physically gregarious Nikolai has learned the self-discipline needed to act like the young man he now is. The video of Joachim putting the final touches on the boys with their ties and hair before the wedding in 2008 was extremely revealing of the care and attention Joachim puts into making his children be the fine young men they are. The documentary produced for Nikolai's 10th birthday was also very revealing of the maturity of Daisy's oldest grandson, a model child for a modern monarchy. Hint, hint.

Photo Gallery: Profimedia

So far, so good. Everyone mimicking Farfar as he asked.


Uh-oh. Here we go with the nonsense! Careful, yawns are contagious!


See? Told ya. Funny how it doesn't affect the Schackenborg tribe.


Sit up straight, darling. Hands out of pockets.


Wwell, we've lost Izzy, she's already sitting back bored and tired.


Whoops, now Xian is checking out.


Funny how a little focused affection can reach even tired and unfocused children.




Now they're down on the ground, Xian making (mentally soothing?) tracings on the paver patterns.


Hyperactivity central!


Sigh, MoreMore's dead on camera gaze.


Photos: Stefan Lindblom/Stella Pictures

Thursday, May 31, 2012

ME ME ME ME ME!!! WEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Uh, tiny nose, Kate eyeliner and plumped up sourpuss lips along with Ingrid's rubies as earrings and a judgmental mien. Interesting "artistic vision" (strict orders from Madam!?).


Yrma got the orgasm of her life when her latest portrait was unveiled next to one of US President Barack Obama by the same artist at the National History Museum at Frederiksberg Castle today. Inspiration to artist Guggar Petter must have been found either here, here, here, here or here. Riding high from her overrated position as godmother and "namesake" to little Princess Elle in Sweden, Madam La Boganista admired her own very well-madeover visage as rendered in newspaper, the medium which in her mind made her a STAR. And sitting next to Obama's newspaper face, WHO AMONG THE PEASANTS WOULD DOUBT IT?

Photo Gallery: Sjællands Nyheder

"Yes, My Royal Magnificence is here!"


"Yes! They are all staring at my magnificent body!"


"Weeeee! So exciting! About to unveil my newspapered magnificence!"



"I am magnificence personified!"


"What magnificence!"

"Do you peasants see how beautifully magnificent I am even rendered in newspaper!?"


"Look how magnificent you made me!"

"I really am so irresistably magnificent that I will continue to not make eye contact with this person in white who is standing too close."

"I can't stop looking at my magnificence!"


"Your piddly flowers are less magnificent than me, but I'll take 'em anyways."


"I am MAGNIFICENT! TESTIFY!"


Photos: Torkel Adsersen/Scanpix 2012

Hillary Visits Copenhagen: Hey, Daisy, This Is What a Real, High-Powered Career Woman Looks Like

Hillary in her silver Georg Jensen "Daisy" pin at her neck - now that's how you honour and flatter your host!


US Secretary of State and general bad-ass Hillary Clinton was in Copenhagen today to meet the queen and take questions from students at the Black Diamond, otherwise known as the Royal Library. Daisy, this is what a hard-working career woman from the anglo-saxon world looks like. Well, if not extravagantly, groomed; practically but appropriately clothed; unglamourous but approachable with a body language that says 'let's make things happen!', without intimidation or threat. She is relaxed but ready to get it done. She is not a phony "real estate agent" or pseudo-lawyer (she's a real attorney from a top notch university, Yale Law '73) who started a company in her twenties with the very revealing name of King Cash with the dude she was shacked up with who wouldn't marry her. In her twenties, Ms. Clinton was registering disenfrancised Hispanic voters along the US-Mexico border and fending off her equally intelligent and well-educated boyfriend's demands for her hand in marriage. When Ms. Clinton was 28 years old she was not bedding 18 year old rookie rugby players, but was a university faculty member. When you are going to be the future president of the US - you know, have a plan - it just doesn't pay to do anything but work your arse off and strive to make your brain and the world better from it.

Photo Gallery: Sjællands Nyheder

Photo Gallery: Berlingske

Article: Berlingske

Sisters are doing it for themselves. A preview of 2016?

Hillary Clinton Thanks the US's Good Friend - Us.

Denmark's role as an international frontrunner is important, declares Hillary Clinton, who is in Denmark to say thanks for the efforts of her close allies.

If there are two countries that go hand in hand on the international scene, it's Denmark and the USA. Despite various changes of government the two countries insist upon a partnership, and this was acknowledged as the US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton on Thursday paid a visit to Helle Thorning-Schmidt, the Prime Minister.

"It is an honour for me to be here. We have a close cooperation, and Denmark plays an important role as an international pioneer in several areas, so I come first and foremost to say thank you", said Clinton.

"Sometimes you forget that the ones you always can trust deserve thanks, so on behalf of my country and my government, I thank you and the Danish population", said the Foreign Minister to Helle Thorning-Schmidt.

The Danish Prime Minister reciprocated by confirming that the ties between Denmark and the US are strong.
"Our countries share important core values ​​and we are close allies", declared Thorning-Schmidt, before the two politicians went in private to discuss the situation in Afghanistan, the European economy and the green partnership between the US and Denmark, which will be launched during Hillary Clinton's visit to Denmark.

Denmark is the first stop on the Secretary of State's tour, which will also go to Norway, Sweden, the Caucasus countries and Turkey.












Photos: Keld Navntoft

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Happy Pills In Extremis: Yrma Goes Psychodelic at Henrik's WWF Party at Fredensborg



Tonight is the celebration party for the 40th anniversary of the World Wildlife Fund - Denmark at the Orangerie at Fredensborg Castle (where Fred's 40th birthday party was held, therefore where MoreMore's all-night air guitaring session was held). As predicted with Mary's prior engagement today, psychotropic drugs are definitely in the water - but this time they must be in Anja's glass. Derf looks caught in a fluorescent Henry Darger painting that's been filtered through a psychodelic Polynesian acid trip muumuu, standing between his wife-bot and his mother. Look at poor Marie's face; I get it, girl, they're ridiculous, but the bottom line is, you're the most normal one of this bunch. Félicitations!

Henrik was at the Asia House just prior to this dinner for their Elephant Parade. This is similar to the event that Xian attended a few years ago at the zoo's Elephant House when his Nanny Mette was able to coax lots of love and smiles out of the little one, after which she was summarily sacked. NO ONE upstages Madam La Boganista, and that includes Daisy in a gala cheomsang-off like at the dinner tonight. Funny she didn't even find her psychotropic Sex and the City party dress to be loud enough for this event!

Press Release: Danish Royal Website

Photo Gallery: Sjællands Nyheder

Article: BT

Gitte Seeberg on Her Way to See Henrik

When the Prince Consort this evening hosts the celebration of WWF's 40 year anniversary, one person especially will be a bit nervous.

The General Secretary of the Fund, Gitte Seeberg, has written a speech to the Prince Consort, who 40 years ago founded the Danish division of World Wildlife Foundation (WWF) and ever since has been its president. The speech is written with humour, and Seeberg hopes that the Prince Consort also take it with a smile.

"I've made ​​a little speech to His Royal Highness, and I am pleased to give it to him. He has plenty of humour, and I hope he too will have the same when I get told I need tonight," says Gitte Seeberg to bt.dk.

She will not reveal what the speech is about, and instead tells about what she has experienced with the Prince Consort.

"His Royal Highness himself has such humour, and I have had the pleasure to travel with him a few times. There was one time in Indonesia, where we saw orangutans and coral reefs. Recently we were in French Guyana in South America, where we looked at all sorts of exciting projects", says Gitte Seeberg and tells a little bonus info on the Prince Consort.

"And it's been a pleasure every time because he is fun to travel with. He gets into it deep, no matter where he is and who he meets with", says Gitte Seeberg, who looks forward to the anniversary celebration in the Orangerie at Fredensborg Slot.

"I've been looking forward to this for half a year and I hope it will be a fun night", she says to bt.dk.

241 guests have each paid 4,800 kroner to attend tonight's dinner, offering a sumptuous menu. Profits from the event will go to WWF.

The royal couple, the crown princely couple and Prince Joachim and Princess Marie are all in for tonight's event.







Photos: Keld Navntoft/Scanpix 2012

Yrma's Kate Wig is Newly Fluffed For Aarhus Hospital Family House Opening

Manic! "ARGH, I'm surrounded by KIDS and COMMONERS! Put on a crazy face and pretend you're SO excited about it!!!!!!!!!"

Aarhus University's new Tryg Fund Housing for families was the scene of Yrma's new manic persona at the intersection of Kate Middleton Lane and Queen Rania Boulevard. Pity the poor neighbours! While the wardrobe is good and professional, if a bit bland, Yrma must have been slipped an overdose of Derfie's happy pills, or else she's still riding high thinking that the future queen of Sweden shares her name and she's a godmummy and Kate, didja see that, I'm pre-approved for your sprog! The lows will come if she ever realises that being a godmother is mostly symbolic but would generally require lifelong maintenance of a personal relationship of a loving, benevolent Christian nature. Mary sent Jayson Brunsden a misspelled thank you note for free dresses one and a half years after the first Looker Me! Tour of Australia. Crown Princess Victoria is wise: little Elle will learn from Cousin Mary: How Not To Do It.

Press Release: Danish Royal Website














Photos: Axel Schütt/Scanpix 2012