Monday, December 31, 2012

Reverse Warrants: Here are the Danish Royal Corporate Sponsors: Getting Derf and Yrma Coddled with Freebies While Denying Jobs to Danes

Kudos to Jens Høvsgaard who is a journalist and author. He has just published the book 'It Costs a Kingdom', which goes behind the royal family's money and privileges. It's not a pretty picture. Here, he explains more in detail about what is so wrong about the appearance of Derf and Yrma promoting "Danish" companies, when in reality, those companies are not giving back to anyone in Denmark except to the uppermost management and owners. Not so coincidentally, those same people are some of Derf and MoreMore's best friends. Mary's excuse is that she's an ugly bogan. What's Derfie's?

What is not mentioned in the article is how Mary's stylist Anja works for Marianne Dulong and got the contract to alter and redesign Queen Ingrid's ruby parure; how Fred's friend Ditlev Ahlefeldt-Laurvig's wife Jean works for Georg Jensen PR; how LEGO CEO Kjeld Kirk Kristiansen was touring Legoland with the Derfies this past summer and getting cosy with Madam in the back of the log ride and whose private jet has taken Madam to Scotland with baby Christian and to Switzerland for Verbier snow posing; Danfoss supplied a private jet to the Derfies so that they could safely leave Thailand during an uprising a few years ago that should have been predicted, but Danish business interests first, eh?; Vestas hired Professor Jock 'Half-Mast' Boganson to be their wind ambassador and their CEO's wife was Princess Marie's first lady-in-waiting; How Jock made other clumsy and failed attempts to get his foot into the Danish or Australian business world; Christian's godfather Jeppe Handwerk is basically a war profiteer in Afghanistan via his company the Copenhagen Group A/S; and most notoriously, how Mærsk Mc-Kinney Møller, the richest man in Denmark until his death in April of this year via his shipping empire, was so good about keeping the royals in cotton wool that he earned himself an Elephant Order! Not to mention Mary's side job trying to break into the Aussie business world by being a royal model with Huggies, JetStar, and Dulux paints.


The Royal House's Focus on Business Does Not Create Jobs

The Danish Crown Prince Couple has just returned from a trade promotion in China. Top businesses rejoice and talk about great opportunities in the Far East. But unemployed Danes should not expect that Mary and Frederik's Asian offensive results in employment in Denmark. The companies that took part in the royal promotional trip have already sent tens of thousands of jobs out of Denmark and continue to do so.

Georg Jensen, LEGO, Danish Crown, Arla, Kopenhagen Fur and Fritz Hansen. As usual, the old guard and the royal house are major sponsors of private services and fashion articles that stood in the front line, when Crown Prince Frederik and Crown Princess Mary in the past week made an official visit to the two Chinese cities of Hong Kong and Beijing.

In the official programme prior to the visit the court wrote: "His Royal Highness the Crown Prince and Her Royal Highness Crown Princess Mary's visit will focus on commercial and cultural activities, which aim to strengthen the bilateral relations between Denmark and China." Implied: The trip to China would put money in the till and create growth in Denmark.

But is this how it actually happens?

If you take the trouble to dig a little into the participating companies' back catalog, there is little evidence to suggest that the royal visit to China can grow Denmark's bottom line. Or give hope for the thousands of families this year who may celebrate Christmas bound in the fear of having to leave their homes because of the unemployment and financial crisis.

When you run through the royal visit's programme, you can read about how the royal couple on the first part of the trip was to visit the Danish jewellery company Pandora's new store in the mall Hysan Place in Hong Kong and then the Danish jewellery and design firm Georg Jensen's store in the IFC Mall in the same city.

It must be said to be something of a stretch to call Georg Jensen a Danish jewellery and design company. In November, equity fund Axcel sold the Danish treasure to a company based in the Arab dictatorship of Bahrain for 809 million kroner. Axcel had control of Georg Jensen since 2001 and in 2007 moved the majority of jewellery production from Denmark to Thailand, where low-paid silversmiths could get better returns for the private equity fund owners.

Now Pandora can boast about having created production in Denmark. The company's charms and rings are manufactured in Thailand, and although Pandora at one point peaked stock index and made people like Kasi-Jesper billionaires on paper, the jewellery bubble then burst to such an extent that the FSA in January this year was forced to sign over the company to the police.

Is Arla any better?
The royals' faithful companions on official visits abroad, LEGO, Arla and Danish Crown, are not exactly known for breaking the unemployment curve in Denmark. And there are not many signs in the sun and the moon that they will do so after the Chinese visit.

Arla has indeed taken large Chinese orders for long-life milk home to the Danish and Swedish cooperative farmers, but it is not Danish dairy workers or other of the country's 167,000 unemployed who will benefit from the UHT order.

However, there is reason to say "Vielen dank, Arla!" in northern Germany. Already in November, the newsletter Ecology & Commercial mentions that it was one of Arla's newly acquired dairies in northern Germany, that was chosen as a shipping channel for long-life milk to the Chinese market. Here, local food scandals have the country's growing elite ready to pay up to 30 dollars for a litre of long-life milk from cooperative farmers' surpluses.

Not Arla's administrative staff can see the future with confidence in this meeting even if money is pouring into the dairy company's cash. In 2008, 140 positions in the accounting department moved to Poland, and in a press release in May of this year when it was reported that another 250 administrative employees could see the directory for continued employment, Arla's CEO, Peter Tuborgh said: "Our revenue is growing, and the growth will continue. But it is our responsibility to all shareholders and other dairy farmers who invest their milk and money in Arla that we understand to increase revenue significantly faster than the costs. Our international competitors have been quicker to turn ideas into action, and therefore need Arla to get a more structured and simplified way to work. It is what is the purpose of this resolution."

Polish Swans and Eggs

Also, Danish Crown has started in sales in China, where pork is in high demand. But while Chinese consumers are ready to put teeth in ears, snouts and toes, it is not Danish slaughterhouse workers who will benefit from the many alternative cuts. Within a few years, the slaughterhouse company sent 7,000 Danish jobs abroad. The latest are from Esbjerg, Sæby and Hadsund, where 700 abattoir workers have had to leave their meat knives and safety gloves to colleagues in northern Germany and Poland.

It is also Poles who in the future will be responsible for production of the Danish furniture classics from Fritz Hansen A/S. After 140 years shuts down the company for all production in Denmark and sends Series 7 and the [iconic] Ant Chair to Poland, where both the [legendary] Egg Chair and the Swan Chair are already being produced.

'Something for nothing'

As is customary in the royal business promotion, there was also the LEGO program in China. But even if all the world's children and their parents again have become aware of the brilliant blocks, it is not idle hands in Denmark to pat the miracle of LEGO. A large part of the production will be relocated to the Czech Republic and Mexico, and right now, the possibilities for further relocation of production. And here is China and neighbouring countries in Asia top of the list.
In my book I describe the close relationship between certain parts of the Danish business community and the royal family and how members of the royal family willingly act as billboards for the companies that fund their leisure activities and wardrobe.
So it was on the trip to China.

Georg Jensen, who has donated to Crown Princess Mary a watch worth 110,000 kroner, got a royal visit to their store in a Chinese shopping centre, and it put on a fashion event, where Kopenhagen Fur and eyewear company Lindberg were the main attractions, too. The two companies both have royal Royal Warrants and put them on their websites and do not hide the fact that they kindly provide the Crown with, respectively, mink and lightweight glasses with titanium.

In general, there are very close ties between the companies and the royal advertising columns. Especially Crown Princess Mary shows her willingness to move forward to sponsor products. Thus, also in China, where she - true to form - had space in her suitcase for a creation from her friend and favorite designer Malene Birger. But even if the princess was so adorable in her new cobalt blue dress, the royal catwalk in the Far East hardly creates jobs in Denmark. IC Companies, who own the Malene Birger brand, make, according to its annual report for 2010-2011, 69 percent of the collection in China, 18 percent in the rest of Asia and the remaining 13 percent in Romania. Yes, the company has moved to Poland. 

Daisy's Disconnected New Year's Speech: I'll Talk About Not Being Superficial, But Then I'll Make a Speech Dripping with Superficiality

31 December 2012

In Daisy's televised annual speech to the nation on tonight, she came out with a warning against Facebook that is either metaphorical speech about her oldest son and daughter-in-law La Boganista, or it is extremely tone deaf (blind and dumb) to her own life versus that of her people. She accuses Danish youth (and adults by extension) of spending too much time on Facebook, a site she knows nothing about, being somehow proud that she and her family don't make good use of social media and that she herself doesn't use the internet or even a mobile phone. She salutes the people of Greenland and talks about helping them via social welfare investment without any mention at all that 90% of Greenland melted this year, with devestating consequences for the entire world's human, animal and plant life forever. Talk about ignoring the root of the problem (and Danish companies pride themselves on being so energy efficient). Daisy's family is complicit in Danish corporations unbelievable greed with profits that come from outside Denmark, but she'd rather ignore that inconvenient truth.

Entire speech with video: DR (also translated below)

Her Majesty The Queen's New Year's Speech 2012

It's New Year's Eve. In a few hours the bells of the City Hall clock will ring in the new year 2013. It is inevitable, and we look forward to it with hope and expectation, but how it will be, we can not know, either for ourselves or for our society, for Denmark.

We prepare forecasts, we make calculations, we do our best to ensure that events should not surprise us. The new year will always be unknown country. Therefore, it is not only about what will happen, but to a large extent on how we take it.

We Danes have always seen ourselves as an industrious and enterprising people. The society that we have in Denmark has not come by itself. Our society is a result of the efforts we have made over the years to shape the future and progress: Skilled tradesmen have sold Danish goods to distant countries. Intrepid sailors have sailed around the world. Stubborn peasants have cultivated the entirety of Jutland. Industrious labourers and craftsmen have done their bit Denmark has been, as it is today.

How we have jointly developed our society and how we want it to remain. In times of crisis it can seem like overwhelming difficulties and obstacles feel like speed bumps, not to be ignored. Therefore, it can be difficult to look to tomorrow, if you even have to stand outside while the wheels are rolling, and you are out of work or afraid of losing your job. Our society makes in our time a great effort to address these problems. However, we must be careful not only to leave it to the community to make the case. We must always begin with ourselves, with our loved ones and with those we meet on our way. The individual can mean infinitely by an encouraging note, a helping hand, a considerate respect for the other person.

It has always been our strength here in Denmark, we know each other in all directions, and even the geographical distances are small. The crisis that characterise the international community in recent years, and also felt here by us, should call on all our ingenuity and real urge for the benefit of each individual and for our whole society: for our country's future.

In times of adversity, it is not only large, external conditions, we should be aware of. We must also think of how we personally relate to each other and to ourselves. There is a tendency in the past to draw a picture of the perfect life with spouse, children, inspirational work, interesting hobbies, a youthful appearance regardless of age. Who can live up to it all? Why do we do it? We will meet adversity all together before or since. We break the neck of the crises that can strike us, if only the perfect - and superficial - life is good enough!

I think that it is chiefly the young people who are vulnerable. Modern communication with the internet and Facebook have tremendous potential, but there are also dangers associated with it. The very young can be so busy that they virtually live in cyberspace that actually lives on the other hand in a kind of showcase, where more comes to taking out than to be themselves. But the young must reach to be themselves, not only as a group but as the individuals they are. We must help them, not by clearing every stone on their way, but by instilling them with a belief in themselves so that they can succeed in life.

Tomorrow, the first of January, it will be 40 years since Denmark joined the European Community. The European Community became the basis of a Europe in ruins after World War II. It was created in recognition of the fact that there is now to be built up cooperation across borders.

With our entry we did what clearly, that which has always been our condition, both economically and geographically, that we are part of the continent called Europe, the whole of our culture, our history, our everyday lives are characterised by the fact that we are a part of Europe.

It was a big step for us and it has not been contradicted, but it is a fact that our continent with the European community has experienced a revival, all of whom have benefited from, and we have seen a proliferation of peace after centuries of war and strife and mutual distrust. These goods we cherish. This autumn I had the pleasure of making a short visit to Greenland, when the Faroe Islands Command and Greenland Command were merged into the new Arctic Command based in Nuuk. The new command is a testament to the new challenges and opportunities of development that is brought to the Arctic. Greenland especially is facing decisions crucial to the development of society. We must be aware all of us in the North and in the South.

Well located thousands of miles between Denmark, Greenland and the Faroe Islands, but in the commonwealth comes our interconnectedness and reflected shared history. I and my family have always felt closely linked to both Greenland and the Faroe Islands. With those words I send my warmest New Year wishes and greetings to all of Greenland and to all the Faroe Islands. I also send my warm New Year greetings to the Danish minority in South Schleswig. Here the Danish spirit is still alive. It is rooted in ancient traditions, but also lives visibly in the present. As the Danish unit is allowed to flourish south of the border, I see it as an expression of friendship, respect and good neighborliness between Danes and Germans.

To all who celebrate New Year's far away from Denmark, here is my greeting and my good wishes. In particular, I send my greetings to our soldiers and other personnel on dangerous missions. They make great and courageous efforts of credit to Denmark. For them and their families, I wish a Happy New Year. We have to get them all safe and sound back home.

Also for our veterans and their families, my thoughts tonight. For some of them, their removal is not a closed chapter, for both they and their families have to contend with the consequences of what they have been through. May the new year bring them new courage and may we all help to ensure also their future.

A society like ours could not hang together, if there were some who, also on a New Year's Eve will be on their mailing to ensure security for all of us. I wish each of them a Happy New Year and thank them for their efforts.**

New Year's Eve, we gather like with friends and family, and we remember the past year and what it brought us. Often we miss some belonging to the group, perhaps because they are far away. However, one or more, we miss because we never have to be with them. My New Year thoughts are with everyone who has to sit with the grief and need.

The year 2012 has for me in many ways been in 40 years jubilæets characters. I would on the last evening to thank for all the attention that has been me to share across the country and virtually every single day. It has delighted and warmed me more than I can say. My family has throughout the year felt surrounded by warm affection. This was reflected, not least because Prince Joachim and Princess Marie had a little daughter in January and at her baptism later this year.

Together with the Prince Consort, the Crown Prince and Prince Joachim and Princess Marie thank you for the past year.

I wish everyone a happy and blessed New Year. GOD SAVE DENMARK.

Trine Villemann Takes a Swipe at the Increasing Uselessness of the Danish Royals: This Could Be the Start of Something Beautiful: Will Readers Yawn, Or Rally to Force Reform?

"What the f*** did you just say?"

In the 29 December 2012 edition of Politiken, the widely respected, left-leaning broadsheet, our friend Trine Villemann wrote an essay railing against the royal family. We here at DRMW and at Royal Dish know and love Trine and her husband (Trine's book 1015 Copenhagen K is a must read). She wastes no time getting to the heart of the matter: the royals today are increasingly archaic and unless there are significant changes in their behaviours and structure, they should be stripped of their position as the nation's First Family. There will be many readers who will most likely agree that there should be some changes to the status quo, but will the message gain traction? Eventually, with more of such widely published essays, yes. Trine has good company in the critical writings of others such as here, here, here and here.

Trine has made a name for herself, not just for being a top journalist, but really for her morph into what seems to be a professional critic of the royal family, the only one in Denmark and therefore in a tricky position. She's seen by her own critics as a one-note musician, as perfectly pitched as that note may be to the rest of us. Her argument to ask for reform is smart. There are certainly republicans in Denmark who agree wholeheartedly with her, but are afraid of wrangling with the royals. To truly rally people to her side, I wonder if a more constant, fairly repetitive and detailed case could be made for true, real and lasting reform - with historians, legislative aides and budgetary consultants as her co-authors - with the royals being sacked if they can't perform within the new settings. Most Danes are reasonable and fair-minded, and reasonable and fair-minded people don't fire someone after an offense without sitting them down for a discussion of employment conditions. However, reasonable and fair-minded people also give others a fair opportunity to make good faith efforts at reform. Trine should rally others to her side, just based on unemotional presentation of options about what to do with the royals, and have those columns be published once every few months for as long as it takes for the information to sink into Danish skulls.

It's a big damn deal of course to completely change a country's governmental system from that of a 1000 year old constitutional monarchy to a republic. That is a valid choice for the citizenry to make if they so decided, but it is not a decision to be made hastily or taken casually. Everything will change, including - maybe especially - the Danish psyche, so wound is it with the royal house - in stark contrast to most other western monarchies. The Danes should first discuss and implement reforms that very clearly and firmly keep the royal house living in the true spirit of fairness, modernity and Jantelow. The relationship of the royals to private industry is a truly damaging and corrosive one, and this aspect of royal life in Denmark is the one that would most likely still be an issue if there were an elected President as Head of State. So, no need to be too quick to kick the royals to the curb just because the queen smokes too much, her husband is seen as a ridiculous poof, her son is a depressive addict and her daughter-in-law is a greedy, narcissistic hillbilly. Unroyal features, to be sure, but a reminder after all that royals are human, and anyone at the top of the social food chain will be ripe for public humiliation, whether via inherited or elected position. Trine and others play a vital role here.

As for some specific, starting suggestions: Ban gifts to the royals valued over 500 kroner. The royals pay taxes on private income, not their appanages. No more VAT refund, which may cost the state as much in administrative fees as it does in refunds. Salary freezes after cost-of-living adjustments that may lower their pay. The state keeps a separate account to keep up the state-owned buildings that the royals occupy. Maybe the royal house's staff has govenmental oversight personnel assigned to them to make sure the books are airtight.

Article: Trine Villemann for Politiken

Time Has Seriously Stalled in the Royal House

The Queen reminds us again that she manages a fossilized part of democracy.
Soon Queen Margrethe will again put her handbag to the left of the chair at the desk in the office located at Amalienborg to propagate the heart warming, Greenland and the Danish minority south of the border.

She also did this last year. And the year before.
Only Her Majesty's dress and hairstyle reveals gradually that we are not staring at a rerun.

Time went by really stuck in the royal family in 2012.
We saw this most clearly when Denmark at the beginning of the year gave Her Majesty a big party on the occasion of the 40 years of reign of the one who signs its laws, 'We Margrethe the Second, by the Grace of God Queen of Denmark'.

As the label prescribes, she was giving interviews to the right and left.
Several times Margrethe refuted the idea of modernising the monarchy by writing the royal family out of the constitution.
And to underline the message was cut a heel and cut a toe in the legislative process, so that Her Majesty could hold her 500th State Council on the anniversary day of 15

The selection of the 40 years on the throne was of course an overwhelming royal promotions. During the first week was Queen Margrethe out in virtually all media platforms to sell her eldest son, as if he were on offer at Lars Larsen.Some would argue that Crown Prince Frederik's job security is 100 percent, but his own mother may feel less confident since she found it expedient to explain to anyone who held a microphone up to fim that Frederik would one day become a great king.

As was shown several times in 2012, there lies a gradually fading hope that there is something behind those motherly recommendations. We saw more and more of a crown prince who is frozen in a universe of trivia, where duties are acting only as a diversion for pleasures. A human vacuum, but also a parody of a modern democracy, where politicians' reluctance to improve the tradition left a major player as a screen clown in an absurd contemporary drama.

We at least saw this on 13 June, when the crown prince attended the controversial European Football Championship in Ukraine and did not even bother to follow the state law rules that provide the framework for his family and work. The then-Minister of Culture Uffe Elbaek turned down an official VIP room and sat down in the stands along with the Danish fans.

The Culture Minister's choice of seat would signal that even though Denmark is not - and unlike a number of other EU governments - choosing to stay away completely from the tournament because of Ukraine's careless with human rights, he distanced himself anyway from the handlebars. In the 90 minutes the crown prince spent in the VIP stands as the representative of Denmark, he was so described with politician Per Clausen's words: "The royal family's own foreign policy which ran counter to the government's official line". He probably never heard a bad word about it from Amalienborg, since the royal incense acts as a fool's narcotic on politicians.

It was probably also why our elected officials again in 2012 were so eager to please that they completely forgot to save an institution that annually costs taxpayers in the neighborhood of half a billion kroner. The royals received a total salary increase of 4 percent.

In Spain, they went the opposite way. Here was King Juan Carlos and his son Crown Prince Felipe who cut 7 percent of their respective apanages, recognising that it is untenable for a monarchy and the monarch to rake it in while the people suffer.

Some would call it grandstanding, and Margrethe's salary will also soon be eaten up by inflation, but our dead tired monarchy is no more powerless than when they do not insist on giving us the symbolism that makes a nation in financial crisis move closer together.

In Norway, on the other hand, they have a crown princess with her own personal profile on Twitter. She uses it diligently to bring people and ideas together. In Norway there is a crown princess who also took it upon herself and with their own resources bought a flight to India to care for newborn twins, while their gay parents had to purchase visas so they could fly out and pick up their children to take

In Denmark we have Mary. In 2012, she made it to 40 years - and it was probably the most spectacular thing our Crown Princess did this year. Billed-Bladet followed Her Royal Highness of Hobart through thick and - mostly - thin and supplied the royal couple's visit to China in early December with this precise depiction of the Crown Princess's efforts."The Crown Princess started the day in Hong Kong in a beautiful blue dress and with a new hairstyle, which was aired for the first time at the 'Business of Design Week' fair. The recently shorn hair was a hit among the locals, and also the many Danes at the fair seemed excited about Mary's new look."

And that's the depressing status here at the end of 2012. The monarchy is reduced to an empty shell. The Queen's speech will again this year just remind us that she manages a fossil that has grown on top of our democracy.

The question is whether those of us who are royalists in our hearts, can convince the republican in our brains that monarchy is still worth fighting for, when even the people who are born to manage our common heritage seem to have given up?

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Yrma's New Lady Maid: Søren and Anja Are The True Powers Behind Mary's Throne: Found Someone Without a Life Willing to Raise Royal Children and Keep Yrma in Clean Panties and Pricey Mismatched Clothes

Lise on the far left? No wonder that bloke is protecting her from her evil future employer.

Se og Hør is reporting - and psuedo-royal mouthpiece Billed Bladet is repeating - that Madam La Comtesse de Hairy Sweaty Pits has found a replacement to play the underpaid, overworked, unappreciated role of Lady's Maid to Her Bogan Lowliness. Lise Møller Jensen was found in the same spot as Tina Jørgensen was back in 2004: the theatre costume shop for Linie 3.

Linie 3 is a comedy review troupe that the royals have patronised for years. Henrik in particular is a fan of their particularly Danish humour. No wonder Yrma never attends their shows! She can't speak the language or understand humour, subtle or brazen!

One of Linie 3's stars is Preben Kristensen, the husband to Mary's hair sculptor/weave master/bump-it wrangler Søren Hedegaard. It's all in the family. Søren probably introduced Madam to Lise at Tina's funeral and set the plot rolling. Helle's in those funeral photies, too, and so what sort of courtesan role does she play here in the negotiations? Does she represent MoreMore's interests in the great hall during her meeting with Søren's theatre agents as they come up with an agreement and his finder's fee? Shades of Anja's money-making intervention with Queen Ingrid's rubies!

Pity poor Lise. Had a nice comfy job for the past 25 years working in the wardrobe department of a successful and fun band of theatre pros, and now has been tapped (with her voluntary agreement?) to be - in addition to the official role of wardrobe mistress - the royal cleaner-upper, wipe-up-after-er, poo-cleaner, and lead nanny for four undisciplined and spoiled children whose self-esteem and worth will be crippling if she doesn't handle them well enough to counter the influences of More-y Antoinette's narcissistic personality and the Derfman's addictive behaviours. Given how notoriously bad the royal house pays its employees, is this even a lateral move salary-wise? She's basically giving up a career in theatre ... what am I saying? She's continuing a career in theatre! This time with real life actors and lots of baby poo!

Good luck, Lise. Just pray they don't hatch the Desparation Miracle Triplets.

Photo: Niels Meilvang

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

En Glædelig Jul: Daisy Enjoys a French Noël at Schackenborg Away From the Boganborg Crowd in Copenhagen

No word on what little aesthetic or surgical procedure Princess Marie may or may not have subjected herself to recently in France, as per Se og Hør reports (not always 100% - cheap rag), but either way, she was indeed back home in Møgeltønder in time to receive her guests for Christmas. Daisy and Henrik arrived in Jutland on 21 December, ready to head down the road to Schackenborg Slot soon thereafter. Marie's mother and step-father, M. et Mme Grassiot, are among the Christmas party, as are Princes Felix and Nikolai who are spending the festivities with their father this year. What a fun, full house - and so good for the multilingualism of the Schackenborg tribe! The entire family was at church for mass on both Christmas Eve and Day.

Meanwhile, in stark contrast to the beautifully merged blend of the dignified and the relaxed over in Møgeltønder, the Derfies and their boganettes made a photocall for Christmas Eve mass at the Garnisons Church. This is the church noted for funerals of many of Daisy's old friends in the nobility - and therefore where Papa Slurppppppson and his Moody Dumpling Susan have crashed many a wake buffet. True to the spirit of Derf and Yrma not being able to enjoy each other's company for long, friends Jeppe and Birgitte Handwerk were on hand to distract the bogan royals from having to talk to each other. Cute of Madam La Comtesse de Taroona to pretend to gallantly hold her husband's arm, children underfoot, clad in a tacky fur-trimmed coat, in a well-staged effort to embody a Royal Mother Earth tableau. No one's fooled, Mares; the way you look at Izzy is shameful. In a positive development, Izzy was given a scarf to put around her neck for the first time! (Thank you Auntie Birgitte?) The next morning, curiously enough, Derf and Yrma attended church alone together and in a foul mood. Can't be around four rowdy kids engulfed in a sea of tissue, boxes and battery-powered toys? THEN YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE HAD SO MANY. Idiots.

Happy Christmas to all!

Photos: Ole Bjørk, Poul F. Skøtt

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Princess Marie in Hospital in France: Fact, Fiction or a Smokescreen?

A one line "article" in this week's Se og Hør is reporting that Marie has been admitted to hospital overseas. The only other thing reported is that the magazine will follow through and bring forth photos when it has them.

This news - not released by the royal court - comes out at the same time that Billed Bladet is now reporting that Henrik and Daisy will be staying in Aarhus at their private residence Marselisborg, and not travelling to to Schackenborg as had previously been reported.

So what happened? No news on that front. Marie may have wanted to have a private procedure done, like a tummy tuck or have her tubes tied. Anything like that would implicitly mean that she and Joachim were done with children, a private decision, so going abroad would make sense. Or who knows, maybe she's got a big hairy mole on her back that she's finally getting rid of. She hardly needs aesthetic or cosmetic surgery of any kind.

Or maybe she wasn't actually admitted at all. Maybe a friend or family member of hers was, and she was just seen visiting, or staying over with them for a night.

The DRF is funny about these sorts of annoucements. One minute they'll tell you about Mary's gallstone surgery (October 2004) or Daisy's knee surgery, but then again, other things get a cold "no comment" from Lene. Mary's flown off to Thailand before with her girlfriend Malou Skeel - no reports about what that could have been. I'd be more suspicious about Madam heading off to Thailand with a girlfriend than Marie back in France with a night's stay at a clinic. Who knows? Maybe she just indulged too much with the eggnog?

Article: Se og Hør

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

DR Boot Lickers Stoned on Cough Medecine: A Year In the Life of the Royal House 2012

 Royal welfare babies

Welcome to Dysfunction Junction! Filtered through rose-coloured lenses, decorated in lovely camera angles, supplemented by sycophantic narrative that would make the old Soviet regime blush, herewith DR presents to you three-quarters of an hour of saccharine drivel, designed to clear away any doubts you may have that the Danish royal family is anything but a loving, sychronised, well-oiled machine that works hard for its money and is filled with perfect people.

Acksherly, despite all the sugar and heavy editing, it is very difficult with moving images to not get more nuanced and realistic view of the stars of this odd show. Mary comes off as fake in photos, and that impression is exaggerated in film and her self-consciousness is more obvious. Derf comes off more natural and engaging, especially when Mary isn't around. Joachim is regal and Marie is slightly self-conscious in formal events, but mostly relaxed. Daisy is a joy to watch when Henrik is around or she's doing some of her artsy, crafty stuff and Henrik himself is just a big, fat, happy bear, enjoying whatever moment he finds himself in.

Enjoy a trip down memory lane with the footage of the family at the Olympics (with an uptight Mary "cheering" on Princess Nathalie), at Daisy's 40th Jubilee celebrations, lille Athena's birth and christening and various other smaller events, including a segment with the Derfsons and the two oldest boganettes at the National Art Gallery's art school and then the Derfies spending time with some of the immigrant children who are being attended to by one of the winners of this year's Crown Prince Couple Social Prize. Honestly, this is where Derf becomes the closest to what anyone would think a Crown Prince should be: he is compassionate and easy around children, patient and more involved and caring than the blues he struggles with seem to indicate in still photos. He doesn't work in long spurts, and quite on his own terms, it seems, but there is potential in there. Why no one in the court or family is able to grow, encourage and exploit that potential is beyond anyone's understanding, but it's a tiny spark of humanity that hasn't been completely extinguished by his strange, narcissistic wife. Let's hope for better in 2013.

Video: DR: Året i Kongehuset

Monday, December 17, 2012

The Derfsons and Their Boganettes at a Christmas Choir Concert: Trailer Trash In the House!

Freebies, preening, chaos, trash all around and new clothes on Mary!

All sorts of bogan follies on display at the annual Christmas concert at the Esajas Church in Copenhagen! The only thing that could have made this even more trashy would have been if Papa 'Half-Mast' Slurpppppppppson and Moody Susan had again crashed the event - with the professor's pants zipper down again like last time!

Mary has happy eyes for no one but the cameras, and when she does look at her children, it's very blank. She hardly has any interest in them at all. She is definitely an emotionally detached mother, only going through outward motions when in public that try to convey "motherly-ness". There is no maternal instinct in this woman, and yet, she's popped out four slightly dim and porcine-skinned little monkeys just to ensure her place on the gravy train. That train, however, is loaded with Danish taxpayer kroner being deposited at the Bank of More-y Antoinette in Irrelevancy Town, around the corner from the Bastille-borg. The Heering family is in the pew behind the Derfsons; Caroline can't stop beaming, looking at Mary, interacting with the children, while her daughters look on to the circus in front of them with dismay, especially as the boganettes were given presents (that should have been opened at home!). Yes, girls, other children are more important than you.

Derf, for his part, alternates between looking rather depressed and yet gazing at his children with longing love, as if he has no ability to reach out to them except in the most mild way. Someone get him some help so that he can start to help himself! Was he stoned or drunk, or just beaten down by his wife?

The discipline and structure of school has been good for Christian who seems calm and relaxed, a vast difference from before when he seemed to be stimming in even the most normal and controlled activities. Good! Izzy is adorable and looks for the first time like she's been dressed like a girl - no space booties and a pink coat! Neither kid is really cute physically, but they seem to lean on each other as the oldest kids in what they've already figured out is a very dysfunctional family. I suspect now that they are older and becoming better behaved, that Freddles spends more time with them and that attention is paying off in good behaviour and calmness. Princent took off by himself down the aisle after the concert was over, so he is probably becoming a real handful around the house. Josie was dressed in one of Isabella's hand-me-downs, so Mary's Scotch frugality only extends it seems to everyone who isn't her (Yrma is sporting a new blue suede purse!). Josie is all Donaldson - the very picture of Mary as a child.

But why oh why do these kids have to be presented with gifts? Mary needs to put a stop to this. This is her charity and she should mention to the organisers that it is unnecessary. The older kids seem to have reached an age or developmental level where they don't need snacks and toys to occupy them during solemn ceremonies (like they did during Cousin Henrik's christening). The younger kids don't need to learn about such distractions. For heaven's sake, they're all in the front row supposedly to watch the children's choir sing.

With such grotesque manners and values, no wonder Daisy is heading over to Schackenborg for Christmas! Don't be surprised if she finally gets on board with legislation to give them the throne!

Article: Pure People

A few days after Countess Alexandra of Frederiksborg, ex-wife of Prince Joachim, did not fail to honour her appointment with the annual DR Girls's Choir Group Christmas Concert with her husband Martin Jørgensen and her sons Princes Nikolai and Felix, then on Sunday, 16 December, it was Princess Mary of Denmark's turn to take on her musical patronage. And she also chose to do with the family.At the forefront in the Esajas Church in Copenhagen, there was a happy royal tribe to attend the Christmas concert of the children's choir of the Royal Danish Conservatory of Music, for which Princess Mary is the patron. It was a rare opportunity to observe Prince Frederik's family in full force, as the public had not seen the twins Vincent and Josephine, born in January 2011, since July 2012, at the traditional summer photo session of the royal family at Graasten, the summer residence of the Danish royals. On that occasion, it was discovered for the first time that Prince Vincent could stand by himself, and a few months later, the twins still have changed dramatically, and Prince Vincent, who has long blonde hair, galloped merrily! He had to be closely monitored at the exit of the church!Inside, there was Prince Christian, age 7, to take care of him. Second in the order of succession to the throne after his father, Prince Christian is no less a child, and his eyes twinkled at the time to open gifts. Facetious, he laughed after putting a toy crown of candles on the head of his little brother, who was watching on his father's knees with a nice tractor, a classic for little boys. But when the "vroom vroom" was too noisy, Christian was there to kindly to "shush" Vincent. As for the girls, they were well-behaved: Princess Isabella, 5 years, played with a doll while Princess Josephine was on her mother's lap. In less than a month, 8 January 2013, the twins will be two years old!







Photos: Acaba, Newscom

Friday, December 14, 2012

Bien Jouée!: Danish Students in France to See Patronage Pass From Daisy to Princess Marie

Oui, oui! Nous sommes tres français dans la famille!

On the heels of the news that Daisy and Henrik will be spending Christmas at Schackenborg with Marie and Joachim - and all four boys (according to Alexandra who was interviewed the other day at the Danish Girls Choir concert) - now this little gem about how Daisy is bequeathing one of her patronages to the diligent Marie as an early Christmas pressie. Marie will now take over one of the Frenchy patronages of Daisy's: the Danish Student House in Paris, for Danish students studying in France. How wonderful! The two ladies will have a great time this Christmas at Schackenborg chatting all about it - in French. Madam MoreMore is still the only member of the family who doesn't speak the language - besides her own children.

Schackenborg lovelies: 1. Bogan Slurppppppppppppppsons: 0

Press Release: Danish Royal Website

Article: BT

Princess Marie Takes Over For the Queen

Quietly and calmly, Princess Marie has taken one protectorate for herself after another. Now she has got a brand new one again. This time it is not an association or organisation that has turned to the royal house and asked to have the princess as patron, then she said yes, as it happens usually.

This time Marie is giving her aging mother-in-law a helping hand.
The French-born princess has indeed agreed to take over protection of the Danish Students in Paris after Queen Margrethe. The Queen has been patron of this student housing since 1972. But after Marie's arrival in the royal family and with her French background it was just right that Joachim's wife takes over. At the Danish Student House in Paris, the message about the new patron was received with joy and sadness.

"It has been invaluable for the Danish Student House in Paris, that the royal family has for many years fueled great interest in the institution. We are grateful to Her Majesty the Queen's efforts and look forward to future cooperation with Her Royal Highness Princess Marie", says the Chairman of the Board, lawyer Mette Skov.

The Danish Student House, La Fondation Danoise, is a college with room for 49 students of Danish or other nationality. It was built in the 1920s in the international student city, Cité International Universitaire de Paris, which consists of 37 colleagues with space for about 5500 students from different countries. The house was designed by architect Kai Gotlob and is located in the south of Paris.

The monarchy has even had a member who has lived in the residence. That's none other than Prince Henrik.
It was revealed in January this year when the Prince Consort was honoured with the Berlingske Foundation Prize of 100,000 kroner - which he immediately handed over to the Danish Student with these words:

"During my studies, I lived there for three years.
By giving this amount, I hope to be able to ensure that Danish students get better conditions so that their stay will both benefit them personally and create a link between France and Denmark", said Prince Consort. An
d now it is his daughter-in-law who is the royal link to Danish students in Paris.