Monday, December 3, 2012

Copenhagen Hit By Sonic Boom: Yrma Finds Out Kate's Pregnant With a Globally Anticipated Child



Reports from the Royal Danish Seismological Society have located the epicentre of this afternoon's local tremors: Amalienborg. The front page of BT's Royal section says it all: KATE'S PREGGERS AND THE WORLD REJOICES! Madam MoreMore will not allow it. This cannot stand! Danish newspapers can only consider Mary as the Perfect Princess. That younger and skinnier sheila cannot eclipse Her Bogan Lowliness La Comtesse de Salamanca Market Clearance Sales.

"YEHUUUUUUUUUUUDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

In no time flat, Yrma was on the horn to Dr. Yehudi Geldstein - late of the New York Board of Medical Examiners - coaxing him to cook up the Miracle Triplets. That's right. You heard it. Kate has played her hand and Madam has no choice but to see her and RAISE HER. Yehudi is right now flying to the set of Nicole Kidman's current movie where she is starring as Princess Grace in order to infiltrate as a hairdressing assistant (Søren helped with the credentials) and snip some hair from her nape during pre-filming hair styling. Mix in a little Princess Barbie of the Two-Sicilies DNA (she and her husband may like bloody dictators, but she's definitely a girl - much needed in a Boganson female) and add to the thawing, sad and reluctant Derfie swimmers pre-incorporated with some of hot Haakon's molecules and BOOM. Who's actually got THREE buns in the oven, eh Katie? TOP THAT. Mares had no choice but to concede to Kate the brilliance of being admitted to hospital for the duration. What a bloody amazing way to avoid work and engender sympathy - even if it is true that she needs it! That Mary can spot cunning when she sees it.

Meanwhile, Private Secretary Caroline Heering was instructed to pop off a memo to Lene Balleby, Palace PR Chairwoman Thinggie, as well as to Max Markson in Sydney and The McCann Group, Mary's personal PR agency, to instruct them as soon as possible to arrange for Mary to bring flowers to Kate while in hospital in front of a phalanx of international paparazzi while the turkey baster is being greased up and ready for use. Perhaps even a little speech on hospital steps is in order. GET ON IT, Caroline. You see, Madam must be photographed still able to fit into her free sample size clothing for the cameras before putting one more bullet in the gun she holds to Derf's head. Notes are made by Mary's planning team to have paramedics on standby during her New Year's Kur Make-Out Session that will top the live-tv one from Daisy's 70th birthday nearly three years ago. Pas på, Derf Man.

Condolences may be sent in the form of whisky to Crown Prince Frederik at Amalienborg. They will be forwarded to him at the apartment of his latest girlfriend.

17 comments:

  1. GOOD ONE CECE!!! LMAO !!

    Mary is crying in her soup Kate is making world headlines and she's still ... well.. she's still just good ole Mary, long suffering cheated-on wifey of Frudle

    poor Mary wished she had Kate's worldwide reach...
    Truly hope for the sake of Denmark's tax payers she's not cooking up another baby!! Omg enough leechers already!! We have more than enough feeeloaders as they are now! No more now leechers!!!

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  2. HAHA!!! You know Mary screamed out loud when she heard the news. She's probably totally freaking out! Do you think she'll do some silly extra prancing around when they are in Hong Kong, a former British colony?

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  3. Very happy for Kate!! Yay!

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  4. HA HA HA HA HA...."YEHUUUUUUDIIIIIIIIIIII"....you know it!

    I think good ol' Yehudi is running for the hills with Derf right on his heels.

    You know that Hong Kong will be all air kissing little chubby Chinese babies, and prancing around in new Prada outfits - size 00, since she had to proof that a mother of FOUR *thank you very much* can look sexy and stylish. The British heffer will have nothing on our MarymotherofbabyChristos.

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  5. Don't think anyone in Hong Kong would care what that crazy bogan from Denmark will be doing there. She has nothing to show off at all - no talent, no beauty, no personality. When the President of Indonesia visited Hong Kong early this year, there was only a mere mention in the media. Compared with him, the bogan is just a very small potato. Her Prada dresses and jewels will be considered as average as Hong Kong people are no stranger to high-end luxury goods.

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  6. Isn't it funny how Australia thinks Mary of Hobart was their Princess Grace? LOL!!!!

    How can oz land think that somehow their trailer park trash Mary be equated to the world renowned Princess Grace? Sorry just because your girl married a prince doesn't mean world notoriety will follow. Grace Kelly was an icon BEFORE her marriage.
    Mary Hobart was just a chubby party girl downing fosters and upon meeting the unlucky Fred she worked feverishly hard to snag him for marriage.
    Very different circumstances. Mary will never reach the highest of echelons Princess Grace now will forever occupy.
    People still talk about Grace the movie star, then the princess and famously talked about classic beauty. (Daily Mail just did a huge spread on Grace, museums and exhibitions dedicated to her work and fashion)

    Mary will be remembered more for a woman who desperately tried to hold on to a crumbling marriage by popping out two more babies ...
    So Australia stop kidding yourselves that you shipped off to Denmark your own version of Princess Grace. What you do have instead is a princess who fakes and takes and takes and takes and takes...

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  7. Kate's current medical condition -hyperemesis gravidarum- can also be a sign of a TWIN PREGNANCY. If that's the case...Take that, Mares! Your own Clomed Miracle twins failed in saving your crumbling marriage, and now Kate's gonna steal your thunder forever.

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  8. Kate was trending worldwide on twitter and everywhere else online.
    Mary just wished she could cause that kind of sensational following.
    So let's hope the woman is not stupid enough to get pregnant AGAIN just to stay relevant! Oh lord she's beyond pitiful!!!

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  9. Yrma spat the boganettes out like peas, but she won't match the press that Kate will get, even bogduplets produced by the PictPrincess wouldn't make the grade!

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  10. Mary whooooooo???!

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  11. Spanish EnthusiastDecember 4, 2012 at 4:40 PM

    Hello Cece and everybody here!

    I have been reading a lot of materials on your Crown Princess these days...and I feel deeply disappointed because my "fairytale" of that beautiful couple "Fred&Mary of Denmark" is crashing down in pieces!
    I live in Spain, you know, and here we see only the 15 seconds news on the red carper of the next wedding or christening...So we see the perfect elegant couple smiling to the camera. ... But the truth comes out to be fa-a-a-r more different! ...Unhappy, nasty and depressing...no more fairytale, just a nightmare! For Frederik and for the Danes.

    I have a daring question: Does someone think that Mary might have become pregnant with the twins against her husband's will, how to say, literally manipulating the situation? ...Hm...At her age, with her inner family happiness... Are there precedents in the family history of twins? Judging by the face of Frederik when they presented to the public their new-born babies, that was the last thing on Earth he could probably wish...he was almost crying...

    Such a sad situation!! The question is: How ON EARTH HE GOT THERE???

    Un cordial saludo desde España.

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    Replies
    1. Spanish Enthusiast, you should read the book Copenhagen K by Trine Villemann. It will give you background on Derf's childhood that will explain why he's such a crying sack of doo-doo. there are lots of copies available at a sale price. try amazon.co.uk. Your english is really good so you won't have a problem. She's too soft on Mary, but she wrote it a while ago.

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  12. Spanish Enthusiast, we are all disillusioned with Mary's fake show and her rude demanding antics. She's nothing more than a greedy show off who revels in flaunting the title and the riches the Danish Royal Family gave her. People like her oughta be smacked down from the high horse they're on .....and she will tumble off her horse. Only a matter of time now til pretentious Mary is
    sent packing. Watch!

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  13. Spanish EnthusiastDecember 6, 2012 at 4:03 PM

    Thanks for your comments, &quot. And Anonymous, I'll find Copenhagen K, though I read very poor critics about the inconsistency of the content and the bad editing.
    But nobody wants to reply: Could she has been so low and miserable to just "invent" the twins in order to stabilize her position, without and even contrary to her husband's will?? ...there are many clues that just invites one to deduce so...

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    1. Dear SE, in my humble opinion, yes, Mary defrosted some embr a couple of embryos and had them implanted. I am of the belief that when Mary is feeling threatened, she can be wildly self-serving and mean. The usual rules that both parents have to give explicit permission for embryo use would be waived by the sycophantic Danish medical staff who would never dare say no if their crown princess showed up ready to be implanted. The whole episode was WEIRD. No one in the family seemed happy and Fred seemed like he was given a death sentence. The news of the pregnancy was announced on the same day as the funeral of one of Daisy's closest cousins, Countess Ruth. Beyond tacky! And counting back from the birth (and announcement), conception probably took place during Daisy's 70th birthday celebrations. To that point, here is what Hester and I wrote about it, based on our observations of known events (including the grostesque make-out session between Mary and Fred at his dinner table) and Mary's personality: http://cpmary.blogspot.com/2010/08/mary-does-it-again.html

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  14. Spanish EnthusiastDecember 7, 2012 at 6:36 AM

    Dear Cece,

    Thank you very much for your reply.
    I started by simply adoring the dressing style of the Danish Princess and the perfect couple they seem with Frederik and ended up finding this nasty and schizophrenic reality. What a mess of misfortune and weakness on one hand (Fred) and void pretensions, arrogance and meanness, on the other (Mary). Here in Spain we critic Prince Felipe's choice to mary Letizia for her past, lack of elegance and supposed arriviste attitude, and ignoring whether she is happy with her marriage or not (I suppose not, but she is quite a lot self-centered as well, so being on the top fulfills her enough), at least she does her best to make her husband feel happy. Not that pathetic and sad belligerance covered by nice dresses and fake smiles...
    And you, Cece, are doing a great job by going over and over the subject. (I read your post - sparkling! if it was not deeply sad, it would have been really funny, ha-ha!!)
    With your work, those who want to see will see. I still miss the backgrounds and the origins of all that, but I'll read the book Copenhagen K.

    Un cordial saludo desde España
    and keep doing it!

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