Friday, February 3, 2012

Mary 40: Sjællands Nyheder's Retrospective

"It just kills you that it's me here, and not you, doesn't it? Er, never mind my Port Seton hands, eh, I'm worth million$!"

The onslaught of photo retrospectives on the occasion of Mary's 40th birthday tomorrow, 5 February 2012, have begun. It will be interesting to see just how the media will treat the birthday of such an undignified bogan slapper who after 10 years of being in Denmark (and nearly 12 years of hooking up with its future king) still does not speak the language very well, doesn't seem terribly interested in serving the country, working hard for it, representing the Danish people to the highest degree or showing any humility and appreciation for all that she has. She is rarely questioned in the press, and then only lightly, she is above reproach, the law, paying taxes, and paying full price. She can speed through a kindergarten zone, take things from shops, produce ugly children then proceed to raise them with the strong values of grifting and entitlement, not duty, gratitude or kindness (although we have high hopes for Izzy and Princent).

A peek at the answer to this conundrum by the Zealand region news:

JLo sunnies and Target clothes in Copenhagen, summer 2002 when she was living at Amalienborg with Freddles without Daisy's approval.

The first public kiss in a tacky see-through top, bra strap and unflattering jeans. Derf's hard grip on her arm is not loving, in fact it seems to attempt to say that he's the one in charge. Oh, Fred!

"Score! Eat it, bitches."

Fred's training as an actor has come in handy - he looks almost convinced that maybe his dear Mor's idea could actually work! The Grand Canyon between them would seem to say otherwise.

An interesting clip from the Marymentary outtakes that SN chooses to run. Mary's O face?

The ridiculous sailing competition before the wedding when Frex let Mary's team win. What a waste of time and money to support the Sporty Mary myth!

May 2004 ushers in summer and our Fashion Princess is viewed through 2 inches of Vaseline in dark green suede and a ridiculous Mad Hatter hat.

"Ten more minutes til I own all a youse!"

"Got Dumble-Derf, the jools, the black Amex, the castles, and the peasants can't complain."

Poor Fred takes one for the team and reinforces Daisy's royal imaging.

Mary at Kronborg Castle for an event with Dutch royal Constantin and Laurentien, who herself wore a copy of the stunning red dress Letizia wore to Mary's wedding. Ouch!

2006 at the Christmas Seals Home. Hope she wore a jock strap to contain the presque-zizi!

How many pounds of Vaseline did they use on the camera lens for thissie!?

The peasants love it when I acknowledge their sorry selves.

Whoopsie-poo! I got a baby and a cam-a-wa! Get my bare thighs? Coo-coo!

Poor Izzy was so sick during this photo shoot, but they brought her out anyway. Hope she puked on More back at Peter Warnøe's Verbier chalet.

Awwww, the "Mary tulips" that were christened at Baroness Helle Reedtz-Thott's castle and subsequently given to Marie two days later at Rigshospitalet after lille prins Henrik was born.

Clearly, a young looking, sexy woman would never have been cleared to spend time with sexually starved young warriors. Carry on, Sir Donaldson!

Teaching Izzy to point. Love Izzy's quizzical eyebrows!

A lovely outfit ruined by a witchy poo hat and boring.nude.pumps at Frederiksborg Slot in 2010.

Preggers with the twins, Mary's cutesy-poo routine didn't go over too well with some of the kids. A true princess would have offered the snack to the girls, insisting that they try some of the yumminess. Mary actually has the goodies held away from them and is taunting them with her bite. What a bitch!

Perfectly timed with the vulgar, sloppy, embarrassing lap dance-territory tongue kiss from Daisy's 70th birthday party, Mary's "miracle" (read: test tube) twins leave hospital a week after their premature birth, yellow and clearly needing more time with heat lamps and respirators. But doctors can't say no to the royals - image first!

The twins become little Lutherans and are already regretting that their eyesight is focusing better every day.

At a Garden Living event in Hillerød, adjacent to Fredensborg.

"Me first, Fred!"

"Hi! I will wave and make your silly little day!"

"Looker me! A new Prada coat!"

"Those are Freddles' balls on my brooch. Just to remind everyone who's boss around here."

"I'm so glad Anja assured me that shiny fabrics and the colour white are slimming!"

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