"Bloody hell, man, I thought you'd thrown her overboard? We'll have to deal with her all weekend!?"
Pity poor Charles and Camilla! The Prince of Wales and the Duchess of Cornwall have spent nearly a week visiting the cousins in Norway and Sweden, chatting up adorable cousin Astrid; cooing at darling Prinsessan Elle; asking cousin Madeleine how much she likes New York and if this beau of hers is serious; giggling at Mette-Marit's spring-loaded, cursteying knees; talking to cousin Harald about this summer's sailing adventures; reliving a late 60s sauna retreat with cousin Carl Gustaf during a visit to great-aunt Queen Lovise; reminiscing about dear Silvia's visit to Highgrove last year; cringing through cousin Märtha Louise's angel bullshit. They are tired, and you don't choose your family. And yet. At the tail end of this visit to Scandinavia, the most tiring and clueless cousins are yet to come. Charles, Camilla, welcome to Denmark. Godspeed.
Derf looks relatively calm and relaxed, having just returned to Copenhagen after a long weekend in Bangladesh with Save the Children and PyeongChang, North Korea with the IOC Coordination Committee to see if Kim Jong Un would like skinny, crazy, white woman as new court jester (she make laugh lot). Yrma herself has had several days off from "work" to prepare for this visit, and yet she appears at the airport in drab hair (guess Freddles forgot her anticipated Bangladeshi peasant hair extensions), an ugly outfit and a hyped up nervousness that foreshadows lots of entertainment for you, dear reader! Even though her bestie Amber Petty has publically written in her column at Adelaide Now that Charles is worthless for Australia, Mary was nearly airbourne when Charles kissed her hand (he is a PRO), her bunions being the only thing between the nude pumps and the red carpet. Mary treats Camilla the same way she treats children, as if dealing with human beings is painful and unnatural for her, overextended, and a fake, open-mouthed smile that makes her look more like a mouth-breather than an enthusiastic personality.
And yet despite her obvious insecurity, Mary completely pushes Derfie off to the side and tries to be centre stage, of course without even bothering to take control of the situation (this is all for the cameras to record for No Idea and Women's Day), because then to cap it all off, poor Charles and his wife were abandoned by the couple and had to make their own introductions to the Danish welcome wagon (see video below) before the Danish DumbleDorks had to be told to guide each of their guests to their waiting cars. Oh, Lord! Good luck to the Brits this week, they've just been served a big dose of Danish royal hospitality. At least meeting the relaxed and agreeable Marie and Joachim is soon in sight for them!
Photo Gallery: BT