Mary Fail: Bitch, Please: Only Solitude and Pink Princess Porcelain For Mary's Arse!

"Step away, people! This is Mary's toilet, peasants must tinkle in the bushes outdoors!."


Oh for f*ck's sake. At the premiere of the film "A Royal Affair", Mary was out of control demanding her own restroom and cinema staff working overtime (probably without pay) to attend to her every need. But what do you expect from an entitled narcissist with no gall bladder who has birthed four children and probably has a particularly wiggy bladder from all of the funk that she has invited into the presque-zizi zone since adolescence? She must have really needed to take a dump, a rare and therefore cataclysmic event for someone who subsits on celery sticks and blades of wheatgrass. Or did she need to have a good cry after being photographed next to the gorgeous, feminine and tiny star of the film Alicia Vikander? She must have let go of the loudest, most trumpet-like farts when she took a seat on the porcelain god. When you eat only grass like a cow, but don't have the cow's multi-stomach digestive system, you can really build up some powerhouse methane. If only Danish energy interests could hook up a tube to Yrma's arsehole and power the nation's electrical grid! She'd finally be useful to her nation!

Photo Gallery: BT

Article: Se og Hør

Mary at the gala Got her own WC

The Crown Princess demanded special treatment

There are always huge queues in front of the few toilets in Copenhagen's Imperial Cinema - both before and after the movie. But last night, at the premiere of "A Royal Affair" people were waiting for a toilet extra long.

Although the theater was crowded, there was a toilet area completely blocked off. It was reserved for the royal visit - namely Crown Princess Mary.

The toilet area was locked throughout the gala event, where theatre staff stood guard so that no one urinated on Mary's toilet.

When the film ended, the Crown Princess was just as needy to pee as all the other invitees and sit directly on the john. And it caused PET security personnel and theatre staff to work overtime, when they had to remove all that just to be near the door to the toilet.

The rest of the evening remained cordoned off from the area - only when the pee prestigious Crown Princess had slipped out could they close.