Monday, September 16, 2013

Sportif!: FAIL: Derfie No Wike Win-Surfing But Woves Manly Vroom Vroom Jetski: The Future King of Denmark Prefers Quitting In Front of Children To Trying His Best and Finishing With A Bunch of School-Age Kids

"Whaaaaaaaaaa, if I no best, I no play!"

Widdle Pwince Fweddie went back to Klitmøller where he and Madam had a "What Are You Talking About? We're SO In Love!" Photo Session a couple of summer tours ago, but on this visit he participated in the Cold Hawaii PWA Windsurfing competition with a bunch of pre-adolescents. Fweddie didn't do so well. He couldn't get the hang of windsurfing. He twy and twy, and then he give up! Poor widdle Fweddie. He no have a sense of humour. He go off and leave evy-body. He pout a widdle bit then he find jet ski! Jet ski horsepower make Fweddie feel manly! Moral to da story: when all else (and you) fail, quit, den find a macho toy dat burn fossil fuels to re-inflate da ego! Yay! Fweddie have a nice day after all!

Video: BT

Article: BT

The Crown Prince Fell in the Drink

Crown Prince Frederik had to accept some involuntary tours of the water when on Sunday afternoon he tested himself and did some windsurfing with 14 children and young people from the surf clubs in Skive, Glyngøre and Klitmoeller in North Jutland.

Dressed in a wetsuit, life jacket and can-do attitude (Ed. - !!!!!!!) he put in for the occasion organised competition between him and "The Young Guns".

And as Crown Prince Frederik had not tried windsurfing once in the last twenty years, there were more trained children who were young better expected to be standing on the boards with the wind in their sails.

The Crown Prince had previously been given a very brief and very basic instruction in the difficult art of windsurfing, and on this basis it was impressive how much he had come to take for himself.

Frederik, who is an openly competitive person, however, seemed slightly annoyed as he travelled with the kids in the first round and had to give up to get down and round the first bend in the fresh breeze on the Vandet Lake near Klitmoeller.

So he chose, as the sail and the Crown Prince himself had just been on a trip down in the water, to turn around and sail back to square one and say thank you for the experience to the organisers.

"When one is not better, then you better not continue," he said with wry smile as he walked up on shore in front of the many assembled spectators who had come to shore to witness the Crown Prince at close range.

Crown Prince Frederik is in Klitmoeller as patron of "KiA Cold Hawaii PWA World Cup," which tomorrow highlights the world's best windsurfers.

Later Sunday Crown Prince Frederik was in earnest at the mercy of the waves. This time in the North Sea, big waves off Klitmoeller when he was on a jetski came very close to the phenomenally talented surfers who compete from Monday until next Sunday.

"Hi evy-body! I Fweddie! I a badass!"

"You weady to get cwushed by me? Raaaaaaaaarrrrrr! Scawy!"
"Get weady to eat it, you widdle wug wats!"

"Hey, how dis ting work?"

"It keep falling in da water!"

"Hey, wook at me! I windsurfing!"
"Raaaaarrrrrrr! I da manliest man in Denmark! IRONMAN!"

"Oh noes! Where you going you stupid sail thinggie?"

"Oh noes! I fall off dis stupid ting. HELP!"

"I never feel so awone in my wife! Where my nanny to make it better?"

"F*ck dis sh*t!"
"I stand here an' pout while my minders figure out Plan B!"

"Yeah, baby, I'm back. Nothing like a little petrol-fueled, noise-pollutin' water motorcyle to remind me I have balls!"

"Dey may be widdle balls, but dey my balls! Suck on thissie! Vroom vroom! Faster!"


"I gonna be asshole and weave in an out of windsurfers!"

"Hey, you! Who da man? ME! Hahaha!"

"Tank god da court-mandated photograher follow me to record my manliness for all da world!"
Today, little Freddie met up with his favourite Minister, Ida Auken, in Aalborg and tried out skateboarding on skateboards made from old turbine blades! Snazzy up-cycling! More sportif! endeavors for our sporty, ahem, future king!

"Weeeeee! Mawy told me to take four home for freebies - two for her an me, and two for da kids to share!"

"Why am I suddenly reminded of my wife's twat? Hmmm."

"Maybe I should re-think this work thing. This is fun!"

"Yeah, boy! The hot chick's with me!"

"We go high!"

"You're starting to bore me with your techno-blah-blah. Where's the beer?"
Photos: Henning Bagger


  1. This lazy git is good at drinking, partying and playing only. Any serious work has he done so far? It is unbelievable that some Danes want him and his trashy woman to represent their country.

  2. Joizus! So much for the Eco Prince! How much oil is that jet ski wasting? As long as you had fun, Fred, nothing else matters! **eye roll**