Thursday, August 23, 2012

Snouts In the Air Cause She Just Don't Care: Yrma Opens Roskilde Campus of Zealand University College: Siggie Still Reveals Sexual Dissatisfaction

Madam braces herself for another 15 minutes with stinky peasants
Yrma was driven over to the city of Roskilde today - burial place of her unwilling trope and polar opposite Queen Ingrid - to open a new campus for University College Sjælland (Zealand). After a quickie organice French lavender aromatherapy session in the car before facing the common people (nothing does more to counter peasant-odour!), Madam cued the wind machine and faced a stream of children in silly princess costumes to great the "real" princess in her bizarre blue-skirted costume (another new outfit!). At least her armpits were covered, although more seemed needed to impress this crowd. Kids don't lie; Mary's a dud.
Standard boring little event for Mary. Gets flowers. Has the audience stand as she enters. Sits still for a ten minute presentation. Leaves. But this time, Mary got to sign her name to a Lucite plaque and play cutesie-poo with the pen for the cameras. But Mary's siggie still reveals more than she probably would like. The oversized M with its grand forward tail and the unclosed y tell stories that contrast greatly from the servants' rumours that Derf and MoreMore like to role play 50 Shades of Grey. Check out this true signature analysis done on Mary's signature.

Photo Gallery: Sjællands Nyheder

Photo Gallery: Northwest News

Press Release: Danish Royal Website

"At least my wind machine was working! Nothing is better than sexy princess shots with children."

"You know what, Jacob? I'm not so impressed with you, either."

"See? This is the pen I'm going to use. I'm so cute."

"I'm so cute, this is my name! I didn't change it when I got to Denmark, even though properly pronounced in Danish, it's really awful." 
"Shoot. Time to go! Helle and I have a date for a wheatgrass smoothie."

"Snooze. When does this END?"

"I like to point and touch things inappropriately and spout off obsolute marketing terms from my former jobs to make me look smart."

"I hope the camera sees that I wore better sleeves this time. Can't see my armpit stubble this time!"
Photos: MIK


  1. UGH she is truly horrible. that photo of her nose touching the sky is the perfect representation of her looker me attitude.. poor denmark you really lost when fred married this one.

  2. If you want a good laugh you should check out her speech. Half of the time she is looking up to the " throngs" of people, except in the pictures there are no throngs but perhaps in her mind.

  3. Thanks for the tip, second Anony, just added!

    She must imagine the Australian press in the front row of all her events, acting as the window through which all her old boyfriends are seeing what they missed and all those "bitches" who were "jealous" of her in all her junk jobs wishing they'd been nice to her (NOT). She is truly delusional.