"I will haunt you forever, Fred. You will never get my ugly mug out of your head!"
This is how desparate it is: BT won't even run these photos at this point; they are running "articles" on how to get Fred's sunnies for yourself. This official visit to Chile has gone on too long and is too boring, headed by two uninterested and vacuous fools and even the sugary Danish pink press can't muster the effort to write about them. Look at them! They've resorted to taking stupid photos of themselves! Even they know they're pathetic!
Article: BT (on Fred's sunglasses inspiration)
"Do I look cute like this? I'm pretty sure I do."
"It's better when my face is in shadow. Can't have bright sunlight on what I've paid for so far."
"Get the ruby ring, Fred! That's my insurance policy!"
"I have no idea how to be natural!"
"Your turn to look alone against a moonscape. I'll sell this one to the press when we divorce."
"Yay! A brown person! Dammit, Tanja, it's just you."
"I'm Søren the hairdresser. The makeup is NOT my fault, just the hair."
"Hold me, dammit! Hold me! Lene said we had to. Cece and those RD slags are harping again."
"I wish, I wish, upon a shooting star ... that the Danes give me a raise this year!"
"Yehudi used something like this on me when I wanted twins. If this one misbehaves, can we turn the knob to Triplets?"
"This is my South American My Husband Loves Me Desperately, Dammit shirt. Remember from Copacabana!"
"See? He's holding me because Lene superglued his flask of whisky to my back."
"Smile or you get locked up in this prison and will never see another blonde again as long as you live."
"You're cuter than her, Mary! You're cuter than her!"
"I'd smile, but I might pop a stitch!"
"I'm pledging Kappa Delta Gamma this year!"
Ol' Iron Thighs is back!
Wedgie on wedges!
Photos: Pure People, Newscom