Monday, April 29, 2013

Investiture in NL: Gala Dinner at Rijksmuseum for Queen Beatrix and the Prince of Orange: Uptight, Little Mary Boganson Shows Her Insecurity Card - Again.

Madam's Indian name is Stick-Up-Arse 
Get out yer sunnies! The blingy brightness volume has been turned to eleven! Tonight in Amsterdam's newly renovated Rijksmuseum, a gala dinner was held in honour of the abdication of Queen Beatrix in favour of her son, Prince Willem-Alexander. Tomorrow, there will be a formal stepping down of the queen back to her moniker of Princess Beatrix, and the investiture of her son to King of the Netherlands, their first male monarch since 1890.
But the fun part starts tonight with the dinner to which all foreign royal heirs and high-ranking guests were invited. Dress code was black tie with tiaras, an unusual mix, but thoroughly Dutch, the country that brings you hats and long dresses and decorations for Prinsjesdag (Opening of Parliament). Oh brother, does future Queen Maxima bring it, or what? Nice tone set by wearing a dress already seen (at Charles' 60th birthday) with a dazzling set of gobstopper diamonds, including a tiara Maxima's worn many times before and mirror-image necklace, but with her hair down in a Veronica Lake style, the whole effect is less successful than jools that glittery should be. This combo worked better on her in Sweden for Victoria's wedding, but she makes up for it in spunk and spirit!
Gosh, there were a plethora of gorgeous ladies, mostly Mathilde and Letizia who just looked fantastic, and their husbands were rightly very proud to be on their arms. It's noticeable that the highly Catholic and très BCBG Mathilde and Philippe are very touchy feely with each other. The Spanish couple is more professional in their official appearance, but the smoldering looks they give each other tell a different story. Haakon and Mette-Marit are always affectionate, holding hands and seeming in sync. But then there's Derf and Yrma. And Yrma is making a strange statement.
Giving off a vibe akin to a figure skater's ode to the mother-of-the-bride, Madam's dress was a nod to the presque-zizi! In the colour of its foreskin, with a neckline in flesh-coloured mesh to imitate the prepuce (and partially disguise the chestal area sun damage), the embroidered circles recollect the staphylococcus of a venereal disease that affects the shaft - acquired by either a used car salesman or in the back of a ute, or both - Madam, much like the fabric of the dress, was as stiff as can be, with her head exploding out of her own presque-zizi, acting as her own jiz in a golden shower turned chestnut for her new hair rinse. In fact, Madam was so erect in character in her penis dress that she seems to STRAIN to talk to the Spanish crown princely couple. It's as if she is far too aroused by all the diamonds, the international paparazzi and the thoughts of her photograph making its way all around the world to Australia, to manage to talk to a man she believes is in love with her and his gorgeous, intelligent wife. Even the men in the painting are looking down on Mary as if to say, "Bitch, please. Lene told Oprah you weren't available because she knows what an embarrassment you are!" 
Another difficult moment must have come for MoreMore when she was seated next to the Prince of Wales, a man Mary's "bestie" Amber Petty believes should never be King of Australia. Perhaps they could talk about how Mary abandoned Charles and Camilla when they had official duties in Copenhagen last year, once dumping them on her Slurppppppppppson parents and Step-Dumpling. Or they could talk about how Mary really believes she deserves to be godparent to Charles' soon to be born grandchild. Or they could talk about how Charles invited Mary and Fred specifically to his wedding - an invitation that not all royal heirs received - and despite having nothing on her calendar, declined to attend. Such fun. And it will be capped off tomorrow with Mary having to curtesy to Maxima and Willem-Alexander. Wha hae! Just what she's been dreading!
 TRH Crown Prince Vajiralongkorn of Thailand and his sister, Princess Sirindhorn
TRH The Prince of Wales and the Duchess of Cornwall
Camilla in the Queen Mum's Bucheron "honeycomb" tiara

TRH Prince Daniel and Crown Princess Victoria of Sweden, and HIH Crown Prince Naruhito of Japan

TRH the Duke and Duchess of Brabant

otherwise known as Mathilde and Philippe of Belgium
TRH the Crown Prince and Crown Princess of Norway

Mette Marit is wearing Giambattista Valli that looks super comfortable but not right for her body type

HRH Princess Lalla Salma of Morocco

TRH Prince Hassan Bin Talal and Princess Sarvath of Jordan 

TRH the Hereditary Grand Duke and Duchess of Luxembourg
The Luxembourg couple with HSH Prince Albert of Monaco
TRH the Crown Prince and Crown Princess of Bahrain
 TSH Prince Alois and Princess Sophie of Liechtenstein

Sophie was born HRH Princess Sophie of Bavaria
TRH the Prince and Princess of Asturias

This floral tiara was a gift to Letizia's mother-in-law Princess Sophie from Generalissimo Franco

Yrma and Derf

IOC President Jacques Rogge and his wife Anne

Former UN Secretary General Kofi Annan and his wife Nane
Princess Mabel and HRH Princess Laurentien

With Prince Constantin, Mabel is in a Viktor & Rolf with her wedding tiara

HM Queen Beatrix's younger sisters Princesses Christina and Irene 

HRH Princess Margriet and Peter van Vollenhoven, sister and brother-in-law to Queen Beatrix

HRH Princess Maxima of the Netherlands

Wearing Orange jewels with a pendant from Queen Emma's devant de corsage

HM Queen Beatrix in her wedding tiara, the Wurtemburg

Photos: Zimbio


  1. Poor Prince Charles was seated next to bogan yrma. He got a short draw. Did yrma put on a faked upper class British accent or just speak like a blue-blooded bogan from Tassie?

  2. Mary is a JOKE. She is ugly and not polite and all about herself. Go away from Denmark ugly fool!

  3. Stephanie of Luxembourg looks stunning, she's new to the game but making a great start!

    ..!! Letizia shines!!! Wow! Beautiful gown and MAGNIFICENT tiara

    Victoria got it right ... Great colour on her with her ever present smile!

    Camilla even in all her shimmery glory still looks like a rottweiler ..woof woof

    Pitiful Mary with her tiny tiny puny much-recycled and did I mention TINY PUNY PUNY tiara .?? ..she looks so out of place surrounded by glittery jewels and huge stones ... Even for this huge occasion Daisy wouldn't let her borrow a bigger tiara lol

  4. zomg..... I love all this glitter!! Ok Victoria and the amethysts rock.. does she have a bun in the oven.. hope so!
    Letizia looks amazeballs.. I love that tiara.. maybe the dress could be a little different and maybe 2 inches longer? But who cares with Felipe mancandy oh la la yes please..
    Mathilde is rocking it.. lol she never "rocks it" even if she looks good.. Pretty white satin and yummy diamonds..
    Cams, nice ice, baby, wear that tiara! I like her dress too.. maybe the black line hits the boobs at the wrong point.. but I still like it..
    Poor Stephanie.. waa waa.. at least she dyed her hair a pretty color.. now the eyebrows.. Poor Maria Teresa, it's hard turning a reluctant duck into a swan.. keeping working on her, MT!
    Mary's dress isn't so bad, but yeah, total penis color, gross.. No bueno.. and her hair is weird and she's wearing her stupid dinkarama tiara.. er, Marge won't give her the keys to the vault?
    I love the Thai princess's yellow silk..
    Maxima, girl you are da bomb.. over the top just like we love her.. Can't help it, she's the deal..

  5. Are we looking at the same photo's who styles these people we are in 2013 most of these clothes look outdated come on get a bit more trendy for goodness sake just cause their royalty must they look so daggy!

  6. Not feeling Maxima and her 10,000 ruffles dress..just not a flattering look
    ..but her tiara and that gigantic diamond pendant are fabulous!!
    Mary could only wish she had access to such FAB jewels. I swear the Dutch royal family has the most beautiful diamonds in all of Europe ..only Queen Elizabeth II jewelry vault can rival them