Monday, April 8, 2013
Xian As Once and Future Bogan-Royal Playboy: Hey, Baby, Dja Hear I'ma Be King One Day, Hey, Where Ya Goin'?
Daisy recently unveiled a new portrait by Mikael Melbye of her grandson and direct heir Prince Christian. Melbye has portrayed Daisy in oil before. This painting shows Xian with one of the silver Rosenborg lions to indicate his royal inheritance (in principle, at least - we'll just see what kind of revolt the Danish peasants have in store).
What a horrible waste of paint and chilling premonition: a cold-like-MoreMore monotone blue-silver filter, a bogan stance as if the young lad were leaning against his tricked out Holden Commodore, a pasty white face that is pure Alfred E. Neumann with the addition of apple cheeks (no doubt Mary snuck into the studio at night with a tube of red paint to imply chipmunk cheeks are a Donaldson DNA feature - ha!), no sign of the boy's hands (again, a Mary directive when the child was posing), and cheap shoes (Mary! You forgot his Louis Vuittons that he wore to impress the natives at Salamanca Market Days). Everyone, this is your view of Xian from ages 14 to 72, when he's feeling frisky, flirty and aiming to impress and fill his emotional and psychic voids: an attitude that says he doesn't have a care in the world, countered by the intensity of the insecurity he'll inherit eventually from both parents which will manifest in some ungodly arrogant behaviour. A preview of the nightmares of the women of his generation. And to think he's already on the postal cards sold at every tourist kiosk in the country. The poor kid is the recipient of the Big Build-up from a marketing point of view, but not from a character perspective. Does he have the coping skills in place to handle his First Kid status in a country that is preparing to gift him with free luxury sports cars in another 11 years? Prepare for the obnoxiousness unless the nannies and a sober Derf can intervene.