Monday, April 8, 2013

Xian As Once and Future Bogan-Royal Playboy: Hey, Baby, Dja Hear I'ma Be King One Day, Hey, Where Ya Goin'?



Daisy recently unveiled a new portrait by Mikael Melbye of her grandson and direct heir Prince Christian. Melbye has portrayed Daisy in oil before. This painting shows Xian with one of the silver Rosenborg lions to indicate his royal inheritance (in principle, at least - we'll just see what kind of revolt the Danish peasants have in store).

What a horrible waste of paint and chilling premonition: a cold-like-MoreMore monotone blue-silver filter, a bogan stance as if the young lad were leaning against his tricked out Holden Commodore, a pasty white face that is pure Alfred E. Neumann with the addition of apple cheeks (no doubt Mary snuck into the studio at night with a tube of red paint to imply chipmunk cheeks are a Donaldson DNA feature - ha!), no sign of the boy's hands (again, a Mary directive when the child was posing), and cheap shoes (Mary! You forgot his Louis Vuittons that he wore to impress the natives at Salamanca Market Days). Everyone, this is your view of Xian from ages 14 to 72, when he's feeling frisky, flirty and aiming to impress and fill his emotional and psychic voids: an attitude that says he doesn't have a care in the world, countered by the intensity of the insecurity he'll inherit eventually from both parents which will manifest in some ungodly arrogant behaviour. A preview of the nightmares of the women of his generation. And to think he's already on the postal cards sold at every tourist kiosk in the country. The poor kid is the recipient of the Big Build-up from a marketing point of view, but not from a character perspective. Does he have the coping skills in place to handle his First Kid status in a country that is preparing to gift him with free luxury sports cars in another 11 years? Prepare for the obnoxiousness unless the nannies and a sober Derf can intervene.

17 comments:

  1. It's cosmic kharma at work when Mosh's royal child ends up looking like the used car salesmen she used to shag until she found someone better.

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  2. Seriously, who'd in his right mind want to buy a postcard featuring a plain-looking boy posing like a sly oik? The DRF must think very high of themselves and live in a bubble. In reality, they are nobody outside their 'little kingdom'.

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  3. The people of Denmark sure are hateful or is it just plain jealousy for not being born royal? Please get a positive outlook on life........life is way to short to be nasty..

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    1. I think the lady who writes this stuff is an anomaly in Denmark.

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    2. Questioning the Danish royals is needed in Denmark! It is about time! These royals do what they want at any cost. There are more people, who want to say something but feel a Pressure, to stay silent. It is a bad Situation! More,from éveryone! Now, not later!

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    3. The DRF is no different from, oh, say, the Obamas for spending money like wild people. Most royals do as they wish, nothing new there, but maybe the situation is worse in Denmark. Good luck in your uphill battle!

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  4. This kid is in Las Vegas? He looks like a pink little pig with cheap shoes and wrinkle suit. This protrait shows us his mother bad taste.

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  5. You know what this painting reminds me of? The What Is Love guys from Saturday Night Live. Chris Kattan and Will Ferrell.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYIYr75xmiI
    Total creep!!!

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  6. Uh, scuse me? How many portraits of young Ferd were there? Frodo was crown prince from age 3.5. This porcine apple from the Donaldson Tree isn't in the same position AT ALL. But Mary's ego is too gradiose for him to not have a portrait. Sorry, but I don't see the same thing for Leonor, Amalia, Ingrid Alexandra and Elisabeth!!! They understand the fragility of monarchy and the need for normal childhoods and egality with their younger siblings. Mary Mary still showing evreyone from Hobart that she married up but we know the truth, she married crazy!!!

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  7. Portrait of a young Peter Stringfellow?

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  8. The painting is tacky, cheesy, very bogan, a waste of space and money. The arrogance and stupidity of this family passes from generation to generation with the help of the biased media and lack of judgement of the public.

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  9. Cet enfant est laid et rsssemble à un petit vieux
    Ce portrait fait voir toute la prétention d'Yrma qui pense que Xian sera roi un jour .....j'espère que non et elle non plus

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  10. Accurate observation by Cece this kid looks like Alfred E Neumann (the cartoon figurehead of "Mad" magazine!) Denmark, be afraid, be very afraid.

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  11. Pls you should explain why you use such a slang in your text...really awful!

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  12. Mary also forgot to make Christian wear the Maserati cufflinks

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    1. Bwahahahaha! I forgot about those. He can't wear them as long as Moshie makes him wear those collarless hippie shirts like a middle aged lothario with a cheap suit. Who said Peter Stringfellow? That's it!

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  13. Why create a portrait and paint wrinkled clothing? The sleeves of the jacket look like his mother's hair scrunchies. The pants look like they're falling down and the belt isn't even threaded through all the loops.

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