"SEE?! I'm like Sophie Wessex riding with Queen Liz while the others walk. I am IN. To STAY."
"Miracle Twins at home since they can't be counted on yet to not let down the side? Check. Ugly minivan because I can't stop procreating until I'm convinced that if I'm released into the wild, it will be with a fat check and a phat crib? Check. Old coat to prove to those internet haters that I'm still skinny, no matter how many sprogs I spit out? Check. Pushing the family's retired priest Peter Parkov out of the way at the door so I can ride to Marselisborg with Smoky Daisy to show old Sophie "Scuba Gear" Wessex that I too can be the queen's favourite, riding back home in a heated Bentley? Oh, let's wait for Marie. What's that? Oh yeah. SHE ISN'T HERE. But I am. Check and mate, Marie."
Derf and Xian look like dorks in their matching Alfred E. Neumann haircuts, and even though Izzy's scarf looks just like a large, pink toilet seat tossed over her head. Must have been inspired by Daddy Derf's post-coital influx in Madam's bathroom on a Saturday night! No neck warming capabilities of course, but hey, it's pink! Rejoice! How nice of Daisy to authorise the nannies purchasing new accessories for the girl. Who's responsible for Xian's blue desert boots? Probably Mary since he is her little king and she's going for the Prince Harry comparisons. You'll need to start dying his hair red, first, Mares. Oh, and blue trousers and blue shoes don't work. I know! You'd think. But, no.
If Mary had an ounce of PR instinctiveness, she would have had photogs at the door of the Aarhus Cathedral, some inside, and others lining the route to the gates back at Marselisborg to really get some Happy Family Time baloney in. As it is, Mary was trumped by the solemnity and authenticity of the other royals at Eastertime, and her bubs don't hold a candle to the gorgeousness of the Spanish infantitas. Smart of Joachim and Marie to stay away, probably by having a little holiday in France to be en famille, since Marie comes from a caring, loyal family, unlike the Sluurrrrrrrpsons who seem to be banned from Denmark. At least until Mary is queen consort! Then they'll finally get the return on their investment they'd been hoping for!
Photos: Niels Henrik Dam