Wonky eyes twitch as badly as left ankles when Madam is uncomfortable
Getting back to her bogan roots by walking around a sophisticated, major world city in her jammies, Madam contemplated how it is too bad that Louboutin doesn't make red-soled fuzzy slippers. Tant pis! Anyhoos, Madam did look like a rich old batty lady (more than normal!) with less sense than kroner visiting the Human Milk Bank in Rio with a lovely, busty "Fredesque" Brazilian actress as her guide. My, those south Americans are touchy! But if standing around surrounded by nipples is what MoreMore needs to do to one-up Kate Middleton, so be it. And Kate didn't do it in a clown-collared, paisley jumpsuit. Madam raises you, Kate! With a ridiculously oversized and overly bright magenta purse/suitcase. Take that! Proof in case you needed it that Anja doesn't know what in the hell she's doing and that Princess Mary Donaldson is a total fashion victim.
More fun comes during the We Are So In Love, DAMMIT! photo session along Copacabana beach, outside of the hotel they're staying in, the Windsor Atlantique, after a visit to the Rio 2016 IOC folks. A quick obligation to the Danish photographers, a little red meat for MoreMore, a little torture for Derfie. He can't stand her. Their body language gives away that they have no connection, no real relationship besides being united in their grifting of the Danish state and taxpayers with their insatiable desire for freebies. They walk down the sidewalk very distant from each other, then walk back toward the cameras holding hands as if each thinks the other has scabbies!
According to the Clown Princely Couple's agenda, they were finished with their official duties by early afternoon with a 7pm dinner the only other item for the day. Presumably, this was slush built into the schedule to accommodate Derf's pub crawls and Madam's need to exercise, fluff the Kate Middleton wig or push out a bowel movement. However, cousin Ragnhild of Norway's funeral was held at the Anglican Church, just up the hill from Copacabana. Ragnhild's best friend was Dead Countess Ruth (whose funeral buffet Jock and the Dumpling crashed and which was held on the very day Mares announced the Miracle Twins' birth) and she herself was the daughter of a former prince of Denmark, hence the close cousin-ship between Daisy and the Norways. How fortuitous that Derf and Yrma's visit to Brazil corresponded with this memorial service before Ragnhild's body was flown back to Oslo. But did our dud duo bother to show up and pay respects? Oh, hell no. What, you thought they were thoughtful and considerate? Mary went shopping in a cheap, nameless gift store to load up on cheap flip-flops, heady for her K-Mart days. Besides, Madam doesn't spend much on the gargoyles, Jane and Patty for Chrissie. They will love what they are given because Auntie Mary got them on a free trip to an exotic country: flip-flops in the colours of the Brazilian carnaval. Also, Mary feels the need to train Izzy not to expect nice things in life. Once a bogan, always a bogan.
Photo Gallery: BT
Photo Gallery: Isopix
"Getta loada this, Kate Middleton: better hair, plenty of boobs and no need for lawsuits. Your serve."
Photos: Keld Navntoft/Scanpix 2012