Danish Royal Media Watch: It's Official: Yrma Is a Horrible, Neglectful Mother. But You Knew That Already.

Don't tell me this poor child gets love and affection on a regular basis. "Oh, my goodness, what is this niceness, more please, oh Farfar, what is this wonderful feeling of love? It's like you care!"

Schackenborg: 12,936, Boganborg: 0

Sweet grampy Henrik has, with yesterday's visit to the Elephant House at the zoo, decided to take on all four of his oldest grandchildren for occasional semi-official visits to places and events that might interest them. Makes sense, after all, he has escorted the older Schackenborg boys to many events over the years and individually, he had brought Xian to this zoo with his Nanny Mette, who was then promptly sacked in the aftermath of the cuddly affectionate photos that resulted from that visit. (Henrik is known for his loyalty and long-standing relationships, so it would not be surprising if Mette Hansen was invited to the christening of the twins on Henrik's explicit invitation.)

So, now Xian, aged 6 1/2 and Izzy, aged 5, seem old enough to accompany Farfar Henrik to this event with their Schackenborg cousins. What a PR disaster for Mary! Henrik is clearly trying to dote on the children, give them much needed attention and affection, he even has the two half-gargoyles seated on either side of him, for supervision and special feelings. The older boys are well-behaved enough to be trusted to the aisle seats. But it's pretty clear that Henrik will never be able to make up to Xian and Izzy the amount of love, discipline, affection and structure they so clearly lack in their lives.

The only thing Mary seems concerned with is their clothing: both are in Burberryesque coats for kids. Colossal waste of money, and you know she paid retail for those coats because she is a dangerous brand risk and seems to revel in receipts as only a cash-poor bogan wannebe would. Those tailored, lovely coats are the only things that show someone cares about those kids. Izzy's hair is a stringy mess, as usual, and her pants legs have clearly been unhemed, so those jeans have been in the royal dresser for years, and may have even been Xian's. They even look tight on her little legs, but that shouldn't be a surprise. Mary's been shoving her feet into too small space booties for years and dressing poor Iz in clothing she wore in previous years, seemingly forgetting that children fricking grow!

Xn and Izzy get through the tough part of the event - sitting still and listening - by yawning, fidgeting, crawling on the ground and alternating leaning forward and back in their seats. Later, they are the only ones crawling all over the plaza and elephant figurines. It's pretty damn clear that they have no set bedtime or morning routine, god knows if they get a regular, decent breakfast. Xian seems particularly unattached to the people and things around him; his dullard look follows his, extraordinarily even when his is spazzing out! Major fail for the mothering icon. Mary truly is a narcissist and her children are just proving that point constantly. Look at the contrast between her unveiling the fifth portrait of herself while her children were spazzing out at the zoo on the same day.

Thank goodness for the Schackenborg boys! It has been pretty clear that Joachim and Alexandra have worked very hard with these boys to provide them a balance between being active, intelligent, inquisitive boys and being the grandchildren of the sovereign and acting like it. Even naturally active and physically gregarious Nikolai has learned the self-discipline needed to act like the young man he now is. The video of Joachim putting the final touches on the boys with their ties and hair before the wedding in 2008 was extremely revealing of the care and attention Joachim puts into making his children be the fine young men they are. The documentary produced for Nikolai's 10th birthday was also very revealing of the maturity of Daisy's oldest grandson, a model child for a modern monarchy. Hint, hint.

Photo Gallery: Profimedia