Tuesday, June 19, 2012

A Danish Royal Garden Party: This Has Yrma's Fat Fingerprints ALL Over It: See Me Now, Lillibet & Kate? Hmmmmm?

Easy on the body language, Yrma! Eyes closed, hands defensively in front of you and a slight attempt to lean away from your guest could be seen as rather rude! Love the look the gal in pink is giving Madam.

"That cow Camilla may have stolen my thunder when she and that big-ear husband of hers came over here to Frozen Greyland, but she will not get in my way to get the attention of the Real Queen Elizabeth and my doppelganger, the adorably ME-esque Kate. I even allowed Cams and Chuck to meet my father and his mystery writing Dumpling. How ungrateful can a pair of pommie bastards be! Well, my standing at Buckingham Palace will NOT be diminished. I may not have gotten a ticket to the wedding, but I WILL get a nomination for godmother. I'm certified now. Vicky's a real crown princess, you know, by birth and stuff (bitch) and she allowed ME, not that show pony Maxima, not that bow-legged baby-voiced Mathilde, not that Spanish whore who is the only thing about my wedding that anyone remembers, not even her own sister, to be godmummy to her little sprog - who will be future queen, by the by. Kate, you're not looking! You're not looking! Over here! When will all this Jubilee stuff be over, I'm tired of seeing her firm and toned skinniness at the Daily Mail site. They need to be dedicating more articles to ME. I'll drag Fred out for photo ops if I must, they just need to give me three days notice so that we can detox and switch out his downers for uppers. If that last set of kids I had weren't so unfortunate looking, we'd use them as props but for now we'll drag the future king and his spazzy sister out - but only if we have to. I didn't want them screwing up this party. I have to look fresh! and lively! and interested! and all that crap. Here's ME modernising the monarchy with garden parties! Poor Daisy, mwoah, could she look more strained talking to peasants. She doesn't have my poker face. Look at these sad Danes, wouldja. God, not one fascinator or morning suit between them. We're going to have to work on the dress code if the Brits are going to take notice. Otherwise, it looks like we've just been attacked by a stampede of fatties from a pensioners bridge club. The Daily Mail won't publish unless there are several badly dressed and/or overly tanned party girls or homosexuals. Someone call the Copenhagen branch of my old Potts Point agency and my hairdresser and his partner. Let's get this party started! TAKE NOTES, BRITS! I'll be beating you at your own game!"

Poor Daisy, indeed. Someone give the old girl a ciggie. She doesn't much like to mingle with the hoi polloi if not necessary, but it looks like there's a new tradition in town: The Royal Garden Party. The marketing of this event includes nearly 90 photos on the royal website - unheard of! They have a few details to work out, like the sovereign taking to a rather nice chair to chat with a selected few non-contaminated types allowed to be received for a few minutes until the next round of guests is ushered in. Cousin Lillibet is nearly a generation older than Dais, but she actually walks around and makes an effort. Dear Benedikte seems to be doing her part, at least she smiles, leans in and gets close to a person in a wheelchair. Marie looks happy to be there and engaged with guests, but rather tired. Reckon dear Athena is fiestier than lille prins Henrik was. Good thing they left Derf at home, the inappropriate jokes and Tourette's jerkiness may have been a "Prince Philip moment", offending the very guests they are hosting. Mary looks stiff as usual and rather uncomfortable with the less glamourous (and more hard-working) side of Danish society. Henrik's table was the place to be. The kongehuset site shows him having loads of fun with all of his table partners. He gets mad props for gradiose welcomes during the royal family's entrée and for flirting with the ladies. Give him this, he is a good host and a fun seating partner. Pity Yrma's prisoners who are hearing all about the Prada sale she and Anja cleared out last week and who returns their comments on what can be done to better Danish society with blank stares and fake laughter. You can take a gal out of a pick-up bar, but it's hard to take the pick-up bar out of the girl.

Photo Gallery: Danish Royal Website

Photo Gallery: BT

Article: Sjællands Nyheder

Denmark has a long tradition of a voluntary sector and volunteering and the voluntary sector has historically helped to develop Danish society. Today, Tuesday 19 June, the royal couple, the Crown Princess, Prince Joachim and Princess Marie and Princess Benedikte invited them to a garden party for 'Volunteer Denmark'. The party was held in the private garden at Fredensborg Castle. Among those invited were representatives appointed by each municipality to have made a special effort. Moreover, representatives of a wide range of voluntary organizations and associations and cultural figures who have made a voluntary effort also attended.

That's Sanne Salomonsen Henrik's speaking with. She seranaded Yrma a few nights before her wedding with "Proud Mary". Foretelling?

These lovely ladies must have freaked Mary out - they're actually attractive!

"Oh, uh-huh, oh, hahahaha, uh-huh, hahaha, uh-huh, oh, ok, uh-huh, whatever, hahaha"

Photos: Keld Navntoft/Scanpix


  1. The last picture is a classic bar trawling stance. No doubt Mange has had a lot of practice at that. No doubt that she would prefer to forget it, but body memory is strong, Mange, very, very strong, and no one has invented BoganBeGone yet.

  2. I don't know why, but everytime I look at Mary I'm just shocked at how butch she is. I think that may be a cute dress but it's too long and not appropriate for her manly body type.