Thursday, June 7, 2012

Mary in Greenland: It Hurts, It Hurts, Make It Stop!


AWK. WARD. That about sums up this vanity trip to Greenland. Yrma is not a relaxed or natural person. This is just embarrassing. Daisy, girl. What were you thinking? You were not giving the Danes the benefit of the doubt. Joachim's divorce from the popular Alexandra would not have brought down your house. Alex has behaved beautifully in public. Joachim's strong desire for a happy home life got him a new wife and double the babies in no time. Fred could have then taken his time to meet and marry a nice noble girl, or even - gasp! - a nice Danish girl. No Mary. No Bogansons sluuuuuuuuuuuurping at the royal trough. No Looker Me! Tours to Oz. No spending taxpayers' kroner on Prada and Hugo Boss while a princess pockets the sell back profits via Haberdash.

Even this video is painful to watch. Mary is so socially inept and awkward. She is so fully occupying her own headspace that she cannot think about others' comfort at all, a cornerstone of a true royal. Mary is no royal. She's a self-conscious narcissist hoping that someone, anyone will notice her and rescue her from the hell of having to do semi-taxing things like talk to people and thank people for organising this event. She walks into a room as if the Australian media might be there to bask in her (hard) glow. Delusional. She makes everyone around her so uncomfortable. Even the damn Australian bear is relegated to the sidelines without Mary bringing him in for interaction with the children. What a bogan and a fool.

Video: YouTube



  1. Even Fred can't take her of late. He missed the last two events with her. Maybe his mother will finally realize how unhappy he is.

  2. Ummm ... I thought this was a trip to highlight the work of the Mary Fond. The Fond, that is, not Mange. And, as always, it turns into "all about Mange." Does the Mary Fond actually do anything in Greenland or just buy Mary's new wardrobe and cameras?

  3. I looked at these photos and almost vomited.

  4. Mary has her eye on the Peace Prize in Oslo for sure. First mother Mary immaculate teaches the slow Danes to stop bullying, now she's spreading the good news to the ever slow Greenlanders. Sister is going global with this! Before you know it all creatures great and small will hold hands in perfect harmony...all because of Mary immaculate. We know this is what she is thinking of course.

  5. Interesting angle, Autumn! She has a hell of a long way to go, but, hm, yes, in her head that would get her a global audience for sure and King Hotkon would be forced to make eye contact with her during the prize presentation. She'd leave Derf at home. What a trip, our Mary.