Thursday, October 24, 2013

Looker MeMeMeMeMe! Tour #5,941, Day One: Forget Goddamned George, the Bushfires and Tony Abbott, I'M HERE: Cue the Cute Kids Handing Me Flowers and Gifts. NOW.

"Of course, I am deeply concerned about the, uh, the, uh, cue cards, Sparky!"

Maz's last text to Sparky, her Sydney PR guru, was sent right as she was boarding the plane in Copenhagen. It said to "empty schools, give the little buggers flowers and cameras, tell them to snap snap snap away, cheer LOUD, find someone from Hobart I went to school with, preferably a sheila so people will stop saying I don't have female friends and ask her to hug me when I give the signal - actually, check all my school rosters against the obituaries, see if you can find someone with a dead rello - put up serious barricades so no one else hugs me, make sure all paparazzi are credentialed and have full access, and crank the sun a few degrees so it doesn't melt my makeup or cast bad shadows. I'll be slipping Fred a Xanax a few hours before so he doesn't overtake me. Make sure some big shots are seen in my vicinity, or if you can't find any, hire some actors and make them look impressed with me. Try to put out those fires, too, whydoncha? I cannot afford for a damn baby and some wildfires to steal my thunder. You got it, Sparky?"

Daisy's last text (via secretary) to Franz said to "try and relax and take what you can that is positive. Enjoy the warm sun, the friendly people, all of the greetings by the actors and schoolkids your wife's PR team has hired for the "crowd" events. Don't touch her too much, do step back a few paces, make sure she takes the lead. I know that will not be hard for her, but don't get in her way at all. Try not to do that dreaded hand holding. Those paws have always terrified your papa and me. Be as galant and princely as I had Nanny Else raise you. Remember: 'enough rope'! Good luck, chéri. Oh, and never mind what I said months ago about the beard. Go ahead and keep it. Helps the affect that you've been made sick by this girl and need relief. That will play better into our hands when the time comes. Cheers, darling."

It's a MAZZAgasm! ARE YOU READY? Of course you are! The Danes and Danish press, however, might not be. It is quite clear that Madam prefers Australia to Denmark by leaps! The steadfast Danish press seem to be a little more willing than ever to let the side down. As do the fairy tale-exhausted Australian press. Enjoy!

Video: YouTube/Billed Bladet

Article and Video: The Mercury

It's Mary, the Girl Next Door

It took a few seconds to register this familiar face -- then the guard came down.
Princess Mary's carefully crafted royal demeanour suddenly gave way to spontaneity as she reached over the metal gates and warmly embraced a now-recognisable friend like an animated schoolgirl.

Princess Mary isn't just a professional bouquet receiver -- she likes to return the favour from time to time.

And yesterday, as the princess and her raggedy-bearded Crown Prince Frederik began their Australia tour on the steps of the Sydney Opera House, one of her floral-gift recipients had a chance to say a heartfelt and tearful thanks.

It was her neighbour.

Melanie Cleary grew up next door to Mary's family home in Hobart, where they forged a close relationship over childhood make-believe tea and the clash of hockey sticks.

Ms Cleary's mother died four months ago and she was touched to receive a bouquet of flowers from Mary and Fred.

"I thanked her for the bunch of flowers she and Frederik sent when my mother died. She said, 'You are welcome, and we are thinking of you'," Ms Cleary said.

"She's a normal Australian woman with normal family values and she has always been like that. I played hockey against her, I've grown up with her entire family. What has happen to her is remarkable, but she has retained a wonderful normality about her."

The first order of business for Mary was an off-the-cuff speech to the heroes of the NSW bushfires, and those who lost homes, expressing the royal couple's deepest sympathies.


Article: Berlingske

Enthusiastic Australians: Welcome Home, Mary

Mary and Frederik will visit Australia in the coming days to celebrate the Opera House's 40th birthday.
It arouses enthusiasm in Crown Princess Mary's homeland.

On the occasion of the 40th celebration of the Danish-designed Opera House, Mary and Frederik have undertaken a packed five-day trip to the other side of the globe. And the royal couple were given a warm welcome Thursday morning (Thursday night Danish time , ed.), when they arrived in the port city of Sydney in Australia to celebrate the Danish designer Jørn Utzon's world-renowned architecture.

A large gathering of people stood ready with flowers, greetings and mobile cameras as the couple paid the Opera House the first official visit on their trip. The attendants waved both Danish flag and the Australian flag as they took pictures of Mary and Frederik, who posed patiently. Since the royal couple met at an Australian pub during the Olympic Games in 2000, Australia was captivated by the fairy-tale romance between the two.

During the five days in Australia the royal couple will visit, in addition to participating in the celebration of the Opera House 40th birthday, a children's hospital and a primary school. They are also present when the Danish jewelery designer Ole Lynggaard opens its flagship store in Sydney.This visit is the first time that the royal couple has visited Australia without their children. The last time the royal couple paid a visit to Princess Mary's home was in 2011.





Photos: David Gray, Dean Lewins, Keld Navntoft, Rick Rycroft, William West/Scanpix; Pure People


  1. Ugly outfit. Is an apron or dress? Fred looks uncomfortable. Same of the same, as usual...

  2. That is a shitload of fillers in Mary's face. In that picture of her looking at Marie Bashir, her upper lip can't move. Telling that she looks like Mrs. Bashir's younger sister and the great lady is in her eighties!!! Looks like Fred got man-scaping done on his silly beard. All of this is stupid PR for Mary to be a star in Oz, and all fake and paid for and set up and totally contrived. No one cares Mary!

  3. Have any of you ever moved away from your home to a new country or new city? Don't you miss the place you're from? Could it be that Mary just wants to visit her family and her roots? Maybe that's all there is to it. She's not showing off. Just going back to the: country she is from
    Regarding plastic surgery and skin aesthetics. Its true. She has done something drastic to her face. The fifth photo from the bottom where she is smiling at Marie Bashir her face looks like it is paralyzed. She's only 41 years old. Too young for that kind of stuff and she doesn't even need it

    1. This skank definitely shows off. She could have flown back to Tassie for a private visit. She never does it quietly. This greedy skank always wants taxpayers to pick up the tabs not just for her ugly self but also for her ugly sisters.

      She has spent loads of money on improving her looks, but she still looks like a wrinkly tranny.

  4. Perhaps it's the Opera House. I think the biggest crowds during Looker Me Tour #1 were here. So that's a possible motive for Maz to become a patron of this event. And weird, no pseudo-royals, aka the Donaldson's, in attendance.

    1. Jane and Patricia are there. It was on the news. They said they were flown up Tuesday. Mary didn't arrive until Thursday. Wonder where they are staying and who is paying for all of that ("we were flown up" means someone else's expense) .. I think they act as behind the scenes PAs or ladies in waiting. Maybe that way Mary gets them on the Danish taxpayer payroll as contract labour. All we're waiting for now is Amber. GAG.

  5. Totally agree. Is an apron. Those heels are to be at the heigh of him? What for? This woman is disgusting, so vain, conceited, selfish and Fred is too condescending. What kind of king will be if he acts this way? His beard is little wordy. Who is paying all this? First class tickets for the entourage (bodyguards, dresses, hairdresser, makeup artist, clothing counselors ....) We, Danish taxpayers, of course....

  6. Ha, ha....It´s an apron

    1. Yeah, not a good look, more of a table cloth.

  7. Ah, Mary is off to fabulous start, and I know the whole trip will be awesome. I wish she would come on her own and not bring her Sponge Bob Can't Talk husband, he is just dead weight for her.

    1. Are you serious?? He is the Crown Prince, the future King of Denmark. If it wasn't for CP Frederik, she would be a nobody. How dad you! She owes everything to him.

  8. Ah! deffo something afoot with the top lip, the bogan has been indulging in buckets of botox methinks...

  9. Oh my goodness. I am only stating the obvious, he does not talk well in public, he can't be bothered with the touchy feely sort of stuff. She is in her home land, they are more interested in HER then her stammering husband. Look at the walkabout, do you see ANYBODY reaching out and hugging him-no. He acts like he is her lady in waiting, waiting to hold her gifts. When she is in Oz, he really isn't a crown prince in as much as he is just her "husband" this is by no means any disrespect to the man or to the lucky gene pool lottery title that he won when he was born.

  10. I do not agree with your comments.
    "He really isnt a Crown Prince:????
    You are, with respect, being absolutely disrespectful.
    He does not 'stammer' and I have to say that Mary is not exactly the most compelling public speaker I have heard or seen.
    She is just an Aussie girl who, as one respected journalist wrote, has 'carefully created' her royal image. I repeat - she would be nothing had she not married a Crown Prince. And the Australian public who are appearing to see her are, in my opinion, being a little silly. Having said that, any other Australian girl would receive the same attention if Fred had married them and they had a burning desire for fame and retained a superior PR team.

  11. Clearly you are infatuated with his royal holiness, and you took my comment out of context and any woman that he married you would find extreme fault with, it really isn't about Mary per say. Having an opinion is not being disrespectful since most, if not all, of my comments are common knowledge, further why are you taking it so personally anyway. Actually, Mary does speak much better in public then Fred it is as simple as that, even her Danish, though accented is better then his, he has too much stammering and his sentence structure is awful, like he is being forced to talk when he really does not want to, that is so disappointing being a native speaker, but you already know that. Lastly (and I will be done with this topic) in my opinion, Mary is doing a great job under the circumstances, she is almost in a no win situation, if she is polished then she is too flashy and there is some evil plan to over throw Denmark. If she were to come across as too conventional, then she would be torn to pieces for not rising to the occasion and being more of a "princess" that Fred is suppose to be married to. Tons of opinions out there and you are allowed to have them. Thank you for reading and have a nice day :)

    1. ha ha ha, you've got to be kidding, right? Her Danish is better than Fred's?
      Well, how come that she is still talking to masturbating Africans, and little boys with hair lice? After 10 years living in Denmark with the best tutors? Either she's quite unintelligent, or plain too lazy to learn the language of her country well!
      That's right, she was born in Taz, but she is Danish now, and should appreciate the Danish hard earned tax payer's money, that she splurges on fashion, jewelry, and private unnecessary shit, whilst normal people are struggling back in HER country!

      She is the worst of all CP's, and fake human being on top of that.

  12. As Danish I tell you her Danish still awful. She has a kindergarden level. About Fred, we know he is afraid to reign. Is sad, but is true. We know that long ago