Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Billed Bladet #30, 2010

This week's BB has Mary and Marie on the cover surrounded by phrases such as "Mary on holiday with Marie" "Enjoying spending time together". Don't believe it! They've chosen a particularly "Mommie Dearest" pic of Mary, and a "I'm in the company of someone I don't like" shot of Marie - but they aren't actually together! No trawl through the thousands of shots taken at Graaston came up with anything resembling sisterly togetherness. Seriously, beyond politeness, why would Marie bother?

Daisy opens Graasten with her sister Anne-Marie. She's clearly fed up with and untrusting of her heir Fred and his strange little contractual family.

The week's fashion without Mary! Step right up Marie and Tanja! Is Tanja wearing Madam's gray shoes from her ridiculous NYC outfit in 2007?

A notice about Countess Ruth. The funeral for the 85 year old will be held at Shovshoved Church on August 6. Will Mary come? Well, Australia's prime minister Julia Gillard famously said, "old people don't vote Labor, so we won't up the pension". In the same vein, no doubt there are showdowns at Graasten behind the scenes. Mary doesn't want to go to some old wrinkly's funeral, unless it's one of the Romanovs, and she gets a quick visit to her Romanian Gypsy Wiglet Providore as a side trip, and stocks up on thick dark hair.

Caroline Fleming was spotted in Danish summer resort Skagen with her new baby bump. No doubt Mary feels affronted by Caroline's footy player baby daddy pregnancy in what we regular people would feel is a joyous and happy occasion.

Princess Benedikte talks about her third granchild, young Konstantin, the son her daughter Nathalie had on July 24. "He's big and delightful". No one said that about the undernourished, yellow and oddly stoïc Prince Xian Amin Mugabe Ceausescu Beelzebub!

Continuing the negative comparison summer photos of all other gorgeous crown princely families, the Norwegian couple released photos of their beautiful brood to celebrate the birthday of their father Haakon. Poor unmotherly Mary. You simply can't get beyond a grimace with Prince Christian, and the nice pics of Princess Isabella have her licking the window desperate for some nutrition, as the pro-ANA Mary has put her on a skeleton diet.

Royal Roundup! Infanta Elena at a boat christening, Princess Caroline on holiday and Prince William playing cricket.

Style Finder. Mary's black dress for a day at the circus with her children is 100% silk and by Designers Remix, costing 1699 kroner. There's that famous old phrase: "top models are paid to make polyester look like silk". There's no old phrase for making an exxy black silk frock look like something a first-year fashion student at technical college was made to unpick and redo twice, and sewn for her dumpy 4'8" cousin. Note to Mary: don't wear black unless you have a minion holding a reflector over your head! Even beautiful Cate Blanchett wouldn't be seen in black without the mercy of warm lighting!

Royal Mailbag. A question on Monaco's succession (only legitimate children); another on the French gastronomy organisation that Daisy, Henrik and Joachim take refuge in, Chaîne des Rotisseurs - because in this safe haven they can eyeball the ceiling, make a persistent "moue" when the feral tongue-kisser is a topic of conversation. Fred does not belong to the Chaîne des Rotisseurs - he no longer qualifies, being comprehensively roasted, he has demonstrated an inability to "rotisse" other than becoming a little "rotund", with "something rotten" just nearby, and being rotated himself on Mary's spit; and a question asking if Carl Philip of Sweden was born Crown Prince (yes, a title taken from him a year later).

As a prelude to officially opening the summer season at Gråsten, Daisy and Henrik made an official visit to their favourite son and daughter-in-law's hometown of Tønder. Check out that signalling, Mary! Tonder ... tender ... real family closeness and love in the air. Queen Margrethe simply adores Princess Marie, a cultured European, and is thankful that her beloved Dame Henrik has a daughter-in-law he can relate to, trust on nearby tables at functions to chat appropriately with guests, and one he doesn't have to grab and steer around the merest function. Mary, you see, has a habit of latching onto a single acquaintance and forming a little gauche clique in the corner, and snubbing anyone who isn't "of social climbing use".

Fred and his beard went out for a promenade à cheval. Without Mary. Interesting since Fred is not known for his love of riding, but Mary is. Hm. Is Mary on Media-Pregnancy-Watch Plant?

Lady In Waiting & Private Secretary to Madam la Crown Princess, Caroline Herring, celebrated her 38th birthday in Tidvildeleje, the north Zealand beach town where she and her husband have a summer home. Curiously, fellow slave and work colleague Tanja Doky attended, as did a variety of the friends of Freds who have had to publicly pretend to be friends of the Crown Princess too (out of fear, actually, since Mary's "death stare" at Fred's good pal after an imagined slight last year). But, not very curiously, no sighting from the Crown Princely Couple themselves. How very rude and thoughtless of Mary, but mostly very strange: Mary doesn't typically do anything without a LIW within 50 metres! Or perhaps she wasn't invited. You would expect that after six years, Mary would have developed a genuine social relationship with her "rescuers" - but no. Mary insists on their "social company" when she knows she will look isolated and lonely ... but it's all sheer pretence. I'd love to see Tanya and Caroline's dentist bills - fixing ground-down teeth is an expensive affair!
A legitimate explanation, of course, is that Denmark is not quite ready for Frederik and Katya to come out in public as a couple ...

1 comment:

  1. Is this Princess Mary of Denmark?
    I think she is beautiful. The footages I've seen of her she always looks amazing. Her sister-in-law too. They both look stunning.

    The Danish Royals seem like a real family unit. There's great chemistry between them all. It's beautiful to see.
    I don't know all of the Royal families around the world yet but from the handful that I've seen, The Danish Royals are the most beautiful and glamorous.

    God bless their beautiful family