Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Billed Bladet #29: F&M in France; Vickan's Birthday

Boooooooooooooring issue this week. Since BB is contractually obligated not to divulge Madam La Boganista's ugliness and repulsive physicality, there are practically no photos of Crown Princess Mary Donaldson in this issue, and therefore, not too much fun. Thanks be to the adorable Felix and Vickan to help us out with this issue!

What malarky! A romantic dinner à deux? Peux! Fred is consciously disengaged from Mary, who has to follow as closely behind as possible for the benefit of the cameras. Think his hand is behind his back reaching for Mary's, in that cover shot? Nah. He's reaching for the sweater he brought with him, knowing that with Mary along, the night would get very chilly very soon! The actual romantic couple was following behind them: Hamish Campbell and his wife who are holding hands. PR Fail, Mary, llove! The photo of Derf and MoreMore from behind shows just how far apart they are. What a co-dependent couple of nutjobs, they hate each other, but have no one but each other!

Gah! Only Mary Antoinette would pair a plum brown dress with turquoise sandals and a bright red shawl.

Freddles was seen taking the special child on a tour of the vinyards. Note to Fred: of all your kiddos, this is not the one you should be grooming for estate management skills. What's that? Oh, you were just showing him how to cut grapes off the vines so that he will be prepared for his life of menial labour under the tutelage of his gracious Schackenborg cousins and employers? Carry on!

Sluuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrppppppppppppppppp! The Moody Dumpling and Professor Half-Mast Boganson are pictured carting off all of Henrik's wine inventory from the Cayx boutique. Ahem, please show your receipts for proof of payment! Eh, vous! Revenez!

This week's laureates are the Swedish princesses and Daisy's gala outfit in Greenland. Beautiful dress and legs, Miss Vicky!

Daisy and Henrik set sail for a long tour of northern Greenland, a first for the royal couple which was sure to delight those Greenlanders who were able to welcome them. Look at this gorgeous scenery! No wonder Daisy couldn't hightail it to Norway or back home after the mid-July terror attacks in Oslo and on Utøya. The handwritten faxed note to cousin Harald was a nice personal touch considering the personal and politico-cultural closeness of the Scandinavian monarchs and nations. The couple's visit included traditional meetings over coffee and even a gala event.

The most popular names in Denmark were released, and it's Isabella for girls and William for boys. Funny how parents tend to liken their sweet little babies to interesting and noble figures. It is clear that in Denmark the names Mary and Christian aren't considered names for potential life achievement!

Interesting letter! The writer would like to know that if Fred and Mary weren't able to have natural-born children if any adopted children could be in line for the throne. The answer is no, and that if Daisy herself hadn't had children, the line would go to Benedikte and her progeny. An interesting, but indirect way of preparing us for the retreat of the Freddles-Boganson gene pool in favour of the gorgeous Schackenborg line!?! In the other photo, the dress Daisy wore to Derf and MoreMore's wedding. Now displayed on an invisible mannequin. Interesting messaging! Mary makes people want to dissappear?

Speaking of the gorgeous Schackenborg branch... Happy 9th Birthday, darling Prince Felix! What a handsome young man, posing naturally and without self-consciousness, tension or pulling silly faces. Well done, Alex and Joachim! These birthday photos were taken on the roof of Amalienborg with his equally handsome brother Nikolai. What pride Daisy must take in the beautiful, mature and regal Schackenborg branch of the family!

Happy 34th Birthday, Victoria! With Prince Daniel at her side, she received birthday well-wishes from visitors to the royal family's summer palace on the island of Oland. Later on, the entire family enjoyed the traditional birthday concert in the rain. What troopers! Princess Mary Donaldson wouldn't put up with the risk of rainfall melting away her airbrushed makeup or putting a frizz in the Romanian wiglets!

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