Danish Delusions in Monaco

And not just Mary's interior, narcissistic ones! No, the Danish press just has to convince you - no matter the actual truth, or even the majority, subjective opinion - that Crown Princess Mary of Denmark was the best dressed woman at every single event in Monaco for the Princely wedding of Albert and Charlene. They are also extremely excited to tell you what they overheard from a German commentator: "Mary has a wonderful figure". So that does it? Mary's bitch face during the wedding ceremony was extremely rude and ugly; no wonder she was seated between Fred and the orchestra! Actually, the best dressed woman was Charlene herself, especially at the religious wedding. Just gorgeous, with a Daisy-inspired placement of hair jewels. Perhaps it can be remade as a tiara?!

Here is a photo of the Danish royals seated. Fred and Joachim are looking around for their fellow guests and royal cousins, Marie is engaged in chit-chat with her rightside neighbour, and Mary has her bitchface on, no doubt scanning the clothing of the other women to see if she will win the fashion stakes.



Mary looked horrible on her arrival in Monaco wearing a white, crocheted dress with a very short lining, exposing her legs. Despite being light and summery, it was ill-suited to Mary's physique. She accessorised with a handbag that was far too large and clunky for the dress, and while in a bright colour, seemed to be better matched to her dangly blue earrings. Off-white heels and a badly applied fake tan sealed the bad look.



Delightful Marie, however, looked casual, comfortable and stylish in a light summer dress and Panama hat. The woman owns her look, even if her budget is clearly much smaller than that of her sister-in-law. Parfait!



At the July 1 cocktail and dinner for the royal guests while Albert and Charlene were at a Jean-Michel Jarre concert, Mary wore what is a very pretty draped chiffon, one-shouldered dress in a yummy raspberry colour but it made her look like a deflated tire. The assymmetrical hairdo and costume earrings cheapened her look. The worst accessory was her scowl, but that turned into a fake smile anytime she saw cameras!



Princess Marie's dress suited her, even though it had that off-the-rack-at-a-Møgeltønder-boutique "prom" look. Again, she's got a different budget, but her femininity and kindness shine through. Her hair was down, and looked great. A smiling, contented husband also makes a difference between her look and Mary's!



As for the wedding, Mary wore a Prada dress that was ill-suited to her body. It was a very deep turquoise colour with cap sleeves that were too tight (as was the bodice - the outline of her bra was way too visible) and extra arm sleeves that tied at her midsection, disguising her baby belly. The fabric seemed stiff and the very noticeable hemline did not drape well. While a nice departure from her usual headgear, her faux-British fascinator was a major fail: beige, helmet-like and designed to both attract attention and associate her with the British girl BB keeps (erroneously) comparing her to; it looked more like a tribute to used coffee filters. The funniest thing was to see her in stooped shoulders, clomping like an ungraceful giant down the steps of the Hotel de Paris in her sky-high heels. Starmakers forgot to include such walking courses in Mary's curriculum!



Marie looked very appropriate for a Mediterranean wedding in a picture hat, and a pretty, peach-coloured dress with open neck and chiffon flutter sleeves. She looked comfortable in both her skin and in the company of so many continentals.



Berlingske has this photo series of the wedding guests. I love how Mary was seated next to no one and Daniel was seated next to the former Empress of Iran. Mary just can't be trusted around sophisticated types, royal types, nor the over-the-top Eurotrash camera whores! Frederik broke out the festive waistcoat that he wears to Frenchy/continental weddings, but it doesn't seem to have helped his mood.

BT has this photo series of the wedding guests. Best dressed after Charlene were the Princess of Venice, the Queen of Sweden, Hélène Arnault, Crown Princess Margarita of Rumania, Pauline Ducruet and Princess Maxima. Honourable mention to the adorable demoiselles d'honneur in their traditional Monagesque costumes and the attractive Mama Wittstock.

Billed Bladet has this slideshow of the royal guests in their attire. Also in attendence at this wedding, young Princess Josephine of Denmark's godfather Prince Carlo di Borbone-Due Sicilies, friend to murderous dictator Bashar Al-Assad. Great connections, Fred! Mary is probably salivating over the extra long red carpet, the flashy lifestyle in Monte-Carlo and the presence of so many French titans of industry and couture. Perhaps she can find her second husband in the crowd!?

The evening of the wedding, there was a formal dinner dance with the ladies in tiaras and orders for the gentlemen. Mary's dress looked great in a shocking pink with purple waistband, but it was as stiff and unmoving as the woman in it! She wore her dinky wedding tiara without the cheap pearl add-ons because the rubies cannot leave Denmark, although she snuck out a brooch and bracelet. Poor Philippe of Belgium picked the short straw! Marie looked very pretty in a new dress with white lace top and sheer skirt. Maxima was escorted in by Joachim looking terrific in aquamarines. Fred got to escort the always elegant Lalla Miryam of Morocco.









Finally, a prayer for the new Princess of Monaco. With perhaps as bogan a background as Mary, this young woman is a living example of "be careful what you wish for". Her plastic surgery was incredibly successful, although the intentional ressemblence to her mother-in-law is a tad disturbing. But despite the heavy make-over, this seems to be a woman who is ready to figure out how to be a good princess to her new country. She's got no other choice, and she seems to realise it. She has shown discretion and tact since her debut as a famous person, and she seems to be facing forward with sincerity and good faith. The fact that she is married to basically a legalised gangster with an errant zizi is probably weighing on her now. I hope that at least the material comforts of her new life, along with happy, healthy children and strong charitable pursuits, will fulfill her.