Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Billed Bladet #14: Pre-Christening Issue!

Our darling Marie has submitted to taking one for the team and "spontaneously blabbing" that she will be a godmother. Seems the court may actually being playing the dumb Marie card so that Mary looks kindly and generous. Besides, with nothing else happening to generate interest in these kiddos - certainly not the ill-advised mid-working day time of the ceremony - they need all the help they can get, but of course use a very cute and flattering photo of the Schackenborg princess - graphics always give the proper subliminals (Mary: constipated and bitchy/Marie: sweet and lovely). Tak, Marie!

Some of the details of the christening: sister Patty, brother John Stuart, and John's gold hoop earring (you, sir, are no Jack Sparrow!) are in Copenhagen and will be at the ceremony. They are without spouses and kids. If neither of them is chosen as a godparent, that will be major embarrassment and war with Mary. No word on Amber's presence in town. After having been kicked out of Denmark a few years ago, don't expect Amber in the pews - that is, unless Fred does something incredibly stupid to give Mary the upper hand. BB just guesses at other possible godparents, including the Berleburg and Greek cousins; Alexia and Pavlos are already sponsors for the two oldest bogan chirren.

Marie says that she's glad to be one of the godparents. But more importantly, they show photos of Marie looking very curvy, sexy, firm and fierce on a recent visit to Southern Danish University.

What will the twins be called? A run-down on the most recent sets of names for royal children as well as the most popular for Danish children in general. The winner? Henrik, with 43,438 people in 2011 with that name.

BB has spoken to an etiquette expert who is weighing in on the clothes. Miss Inge Corell assures us that the clothes must not be too gaudy, and that the guests must not steal the twins' thunder! She has dubbed Mary's Ingrid-esque floral headband as "dreadfully sweet", which is nice etiquette lady talk for "take that bloody awful thing off your head before the flowers wilt and die from the micropests still feeding off of the wiglets".

The christening will be shown live on both DR1 and TV2, but there is no mention of whether the ceremony will be broadcast over those internet sites, www.dr.dk or www.tv2.dk. The ceremony starts at 3:30, but the tvs will be broadcasting live from noon.

Anna Johannesen from BB caught up with Fred recently about the christening and he says he's ready and mostly happy to finally reveal the names of the babies. I must say, Fred does allow the press to have a good, free access to him unlike his wife who would pretend that Anna, standing that closely, is not even there! The article reveals that Fred paid a visit to the Australian ambassador to Denmark recently. The purported guise of the visit was to discuss the Sculpture by the Sea programme, initiated in Australia. Perhaps that reason is the cover for James Choi being employed to help reinstate Mary's citizenship so that she would be able to purchase a post-divorce, Gold Coast home back in Oz?

Speaking of homeless Aussies, Professor Half-Mast Sluuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrpppppson and The Dumpling smiles proudly - gold pinkie signet ring and all - from their two room villa near Daisy's pile in France. On the twins, Jock says that they are wonderful. Interviewed by The Mercury in Australia, he clearly speaks without authorisation from the court by saying, "when I first saw the twins, they could fit in the palm of my hand". Oopsie! Official Court PR is that Mary did not give birth to underweight babies!! Get it right, Boganson. OK, find your footing. "But they are growing very rapidly. Maybe because they were so small as newborns that they seem to be growing very rapidly." That's better, Pops. When asked to confirm if Patty was also attending, he says "that what I've heard". What a pompous freak.

So, Fred the Human Fart gets his "fart on", or some nonsense about convincing us that Fred's got momentum and is in top form right before the big christening day. Pfff, could this man look more tired, bedeviled, scraggly, or nagged? This outing BB is showing of Fred and Xian must have been set up by Mor Daisy, since Fred can't even seem to face the cameras that the little Donaldson genes have spotted. But it should have been fun, as it was to a highly acclaimed theatre presentation of Fanny & Alexander. Note the red t-shirt Fred is wearing while running is from Grand View University in the US where he and Mary visited a couple of years ago. That's the one in Iowa that's still going, as opposed to Dana College in Nebraska, also visited by the couple, that's gone belly up. Thanks, Boganborgs! Go Vikings!

The week in fashion doesn't feature any of our Danish princesses, but Madeleine shows us how it's done at a Miami gala for the royal representative. I like her hair, softly styled and more low-lights. Brava.

Fred is being set loose to travel to Africa - by himself. Is Mugabe having a party with hot chicks and drug lords supplying heroin fountains? If blood diamonds are a party favour, we'll know Mary sent him! But BB assures us he is going to help children. Hey, Fred, here's an idea: help your own by being present in their lives and not coming home blotto in the middle of the night, unable to get up to take them to school. For four days, Fred will travel with the Danish Red Cross to Mozambique this autumn. I guess those photos of regal, kingly Joachim in Ghana last year helped remind the Crown Princely Court that their PR war with the Schackenborgers was failing badly!

Mary's LIW Tanja Kjærsgaard Doky and her husband, jazz musician and Friend of Fred Chris, recently took their two kids Frida and Miko to a Star Wars party at Legoland.

Fred and Mary got a new Mini in a cafe-latte colour after moving into the city where "a smaller, more anonymous car" is useful. How very common of them. Mary still has her red Saab, and they say that Frederik drives the Mini more often. But the question is...who paid for it? Mary's Saab was a freebie as are all of Fred's cars. So who ponied up for a Mini? And if it was F&M who paid for it, which staff member is about to be laid off to help balance their books, which were already tumbling in the red. This is one fishy smelling car!

Marie does her part! Her local fire brigade engaged Marie in some training recently so that she can be a more useful and pro-active neighbour. The princess seems to take her training seriously, focussing on the people in distress and the instructions of the trainers, looking quite sharp in her uniform. Note the contrast to Mary, posing with full makeup, a smirk, diamond stud earrings and hyper-aware of the camera. Marie is focussed on the job!

Prince Henrik opened a new boutique last week at the Chateau de Cayx in France. The old one was renovated and will hold many new items. Thousands of Danes visit the chateau every year and like to purchase royal gifts from the boutique, like many of the prince's cooking or poetry books, as well as indulge in a glass of house wine.

So Mary and Fred are being sent out for the fourth time since their marriage on a summer tour aboard the Dannebrog royal yacht. This year they will visit Skagen, Hanstholm, Hirtshals and end in Aarhus where they had agreed to open the Aarhus Festuge. They will take the twinsies with them, but not the oldest two kids. BB says that Christian will be in school, and only as an aside, mention that Izzy has kindergarten. BB does confess not knowing what school Xian will attend, but guess at Krebs' where Fred went and the adorable Schackenborg cousins attend. But if even BB has to guess, is it a sure thing?

Still trying to plug the Danish "fairy tale wedding", BB writes a fake letter asking about a DVD of the May 14, 2004 drama. I guess they have a few thousand boxes still in the stockroom. 7 years on, with Kate and Wills set to take their vows in the wedding of the decade (along with lovely Victoria and Daniel's), the Danish sugar press still wants to convince us that a gaunt, pale vampire-bogan ominously walking up the aisle of a Copenhagen church on the arm of her knickerless father to the threatening & gradiose sounds of Zadok the Priest to marry the puny, invertabrate son of Denmark's magnificent queen is the romantic fairy tale of all time, if only to make a buck off of it. Not buying.

Isn't little Prince Sverre Magnus of Norway the cutest thing? He was able to accompany Papa Haakon to visit some racing boats. The little prince is 5 years old just like Prince Xian, yet look at his face: this is a child who lives in a loving, happy home!

Fred's cousin, Countess Josephine af Rosenborg and her husband Thomas Schmidt celebrated their half-silver anniversary with a party recently. They've been married 12.5 years and have two children, Clara and Julius. The whole Rosenborg family was there, Auntie Elisabeth, parents Christian and Anne-Dorte and sister Feodora and her husband, among others. Daisy may exclude this branch of the family, but they don't allow that fact to spoil their fun.

1 comment:

  1. Oh Cec, more great stuff. Thank you!