Monday, May 7, 2012

Sportif!: Derfie's IOC Membership Allows Acceptable Level of Slackerism in Future King's Schedule

"Why didn't I just abdicate my position on the throne, dump the bogan and move to Key West!?"


Freddums' presence did not inspire the Danish ice hockey team: they lost to Sweden 6-4.
This past week has seen the Derfster at no less than three sports events: a tennis workshop for Stay and Play; opening the Giro d'Italia cycling race; and flying to Stockholm for a hockey match between Denmark and Sweden during the IIHF World Championships. Derfie has learned from MoreMore: get a major organisation to legitimise you and you can fill your calendar with goof-off days galore! Mary does it for shopping trips to DC, Freddles does it for being the Danish honourary member of the IOC. Who does it benefit? Not Denmark! Poor Frex. He looks so beta in the company of both Prince Daniel and Danish cycling champion and Tour de France participant Bjarne Riis. Widdle Fweddie love pwaying wiff da big boys. Make him feel wike big man. Juss like nice ladies in Thailand. And juss like when he put socks in his jocks for big penif affeck. 'Wooker me! I'm biggah dan Madam my wyfe!'

Saturday, 5 May




Monday, 7 May

"It's not too late, man. Just slip out in the middle of the night. Take Izzy and Princent with you. She'll never notice they're gone."

"OK! I'll text her to f*&^ off right now!"

"Katja's bojangas are soft, round and perfectly formed. Real two-handers!"





Yrma's Ugly Truth Revealed By Cheeky Brazilian Artist Romero Britto

"Yay, ME! Pattycake!"
 
 
As predicted, Romero Britto's portrait of Madam La Boganne is especially revealing of Yrma's superficiality and arriviste tendencies, as well as her uber-ordinary origins. Well played, Romero! Look at Mary's face - she has no idea Britto has completely taken the piss out of her! Crown Princess Mary of Denmark feels so happy when people paint her portrait that her narcissism completely obscures the hard-core truth that has been exposed about her. Romero sees through her sh*t and has told the world about it.

First: the highly photoshopped photie that Romero copied from. Guess Daisy put the kabash on Mary travelling to Britto's Miami studio for weeks at a time with Ingrid's rubies. (You're welcome, south Florida!) Britto compensated by reducing the rubies to a deconstructed wreath of metal boomerangs (what you throw out will come back to hit you), some painted red to underscore how small the rubies within the jewellery actually are. They could also be seen as tin hearts, in an ode to Mary's failed attempt to take up Diana's mantle of Queen of Hearts.

Interesting to note from the photo gallery below that this unveiling was a bit of a celebrity event. Former American ambassador to Denmark James P. Cain was seated on the dias (is Yrma trying to get Jock more work via US business interests? Cain was the ambassador who invited the Sluuurrrpsons to their parties in the first place. Cain was Bush's appointee; Obama's can't be bothered with the bogans), and other Danish players like handsome Peter Mygind, Malene Birger, Charlotte Spare, Remee and Birthe Kjær were in attendance.

Photo Gallery: Starlounge DK


An allusion to the mask Mary wears as "Crown Princess of Denmark", hiding an ugly interior and unfulfilled person.


Add a tribute to Mary's pre-Søren days when she applied her own cheek makeup with a clumsy and clownish hand, in contrast to today's pneumatic, airbrushed foundation and heavy Kate Middleton-esque eyeliner. Although, the wonky eye has also been incorporated!



The pink skin below Mary's bleached white face and apple cheeks is a direct allusion to Mary Donaldson's redneck origins; origins that still come creeping through the dilberately manufactured exterior.



And finally, there is a strange, Tudor headdress wound up with Mary's weave in the painting. Clearly a nod to Queen Mary I of the House of Tudor, aka Bloody Mary. You have been warned, Danes!


I love to look at ME!




The face of the sad child on Mary's left says it all. She knows instictively that not only is the visiting lady not a nice person, but that unveiling a portrait of her does actually nothing for the Children's Day Foundation for which the portrait was commissioned.
 
Even James Dean on Britto's shirt is all, what the hell am I doing at this bogan's event?
 



 

Event Photos: Uffe Kongsted/Starlounge DK

Friday, May 4, 2012

Yrma Dwopped Derfie Off at Daycare While She Went to Fashion Show



Derfie got to pway games wiff his fwiends at schoo today. Yay. MoreMore Yrma dwop him off in da morning on her way to get photo taken. Funny lady. But she make Derfie happy when she let him juss be a kid wike all dee others. Dis event was called Pway and Stay. It was fun. After, day got to have joosh and cookies. Yay. Den go home and have nap wiff Nanny an no cloffes on. Derfie want to do it again. Juss wike a hot bwonde. Over and over. Derfie hope MoreMore never come pick him up.




Happy Birthday, Lille Prins Henrik!

"Ne t'inquiete pas, mon cheri. Tante Mary n'est qu'une phantome. Elle ne peut pas nous toucher."

Little Prince Henrik Carl Joachim Alain is 3 years old today, born 4 May 2009 in Copenhagen, a year after his parents' marriage in Møgeltønder, South Jutland. Félicitations, jeune monsieur!  Never forget: you are so cute and adorable that Mean Auntie Yrma was threatened enough to shoot a couple of Miracle Twins up her twat with a turkey baster in Uncle Yehudi's Manhattan office with Miss Amber Petty holding a dull Greenlandic fish gutting knife to his throat to keep his moaning to a minimum and his compliance to a maximum. Have a great day, little one!







New photies from den lille prins' birthday home at Schackenborg!







Yrma Polluted Sustainable Fashion Fest With Toxic Personality

"Really, honey? A yellow belt, nude shoes, no stockings and a brown bag? What were you thinking?"

Yrma camera-whoring par excellence, here! In a (Swedish) H&M dress worn not long ago at all (and probably not washed in the spirit of saving water, polluting the conference further with Madam's standard sweaty-hairy-pit-odour), La Comtesse de Monpezat, Madam La Boganista attended a fashion summit at the Opera House with the theme of sustainable fashion. Speaking in rather Aussie-accented English (hm, where'd that Danish accent go, Mares?), she told the assembled guests, blah blah blah looker me blah blah blah blah where are my notes oh yeah blah blah blah pregnant pause for attention blah blah blah aren't I cute blah blah. VERY inspiring.

In the evening, there was a dinner to which Yrma actually wore a satin dirndl skirt. As if she were a 25 year old secretary accompanying her boss to a fancy event. Even Yrma's subconscious betrays her! Mystery: where'd the scars on the top of her left foot come from? Kicking Derfie around after discovering him saying sweet nothings over the phone to a hot blonde? Oh, and Tanja is over it.

Video: TV2

Interview: CNN

Press Release: Danish Royal Website

As patron, HRH The Crown Princess participates today at 11 o'clock at opening of the "Copenhagen Fashion Summit 2012" conference at the Opera House the theme of which is the forefront of sustainable fashion.

The event brings together over 1000 participants from leading fashion companies worldwide. Corporate Social Responsibility experts, EU officials and political leaders can identify new opportunities and future options for shaping the global fashion industry to tackle the increasing challenges facing the industry.

The fashion industry is one of the most polluting and socially challenged industries. Hoping to make social responsibility a part of the industry's DNA, the Danish Fashion Institute, with support from the UN, developed a new ethical code specifically tailored to the fashion industry and its challenges will be presented at the conference. The framework will be open for input until the end of 2012, and the goal is that it will serve as a tool for the global fashion industry in efforts to incorporate socially responsible business principles and ensure the effectiveness and uniformity in the industry's sustainability initiatives.

This afternoon the Crown Princess attends the sustainable "Copenhagen Fashion Summit" fashion show and participates in the final part of the conference. In addition, the Crown Princess also will participate in the official conference dinner to be held at the Stock Exchange tonight.














Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Yrma Cavorts with Design-y Scumbags & Pretends to Care About African Children When She Can't Even Be Bothered To Put a Barrette In Izzy's Hair



New outfit, check! Arrogant mien, check! Continued association with equally-uncaring, arsehole designers (Christian Stadil), check! More food for the Mother Icon nonsense, check! Promoting Apple products as per historical commercial vested interests, ie. Huggies, Dulux paints, JetStar, Cartier, check! Yrma was at the launch of a campaign today to wire Ethiopian mothers with iPhones. Because every starving woman needs an app to find daily deals on their tofu-wheatgrass smoothies after dropping the kids off at the refugee camp. That's how it is for Yrma!

Photo Gallery: BT

Article: BT

Press Release: Danish Royal Website

In her capacity as patron, HRH the Crown Princess today marks Maternity Worldwide's campaign "Save the life of a mother on Mother's Day" at the Fritz Hansen Showroom in Copenhagen.

The Crown Princess has since 2010 been a patron of the Danish development organisation that now for six years has been working to rescue women's and children's lives during pregnancy and childbirth in Ethiopia. Ethiopia is one of the world's poorest countries, and mortality among women during pregnancy and childbirth is one of the highest in the world. Deaths with the right action can be prevented.

For the sixth consecutive year, Maternity Worldwide launches their campaign "Save the life of a mother on Mother's Day", where Danes all over the country have the opportunity to support Maternity Worldwide's work. This year the focus is directed at the organization's upcoming 4-year project, "Wired Mothers in Ethiopia." The project utilizes the telecommunications revolution on the African continent to use new and innovative opportunities to reach the poorest women and the remotest districts via mobile phones. The overall purpose is in line with Maternity Worldwide's vision that it should not cost lives to give life. Neither the mothers or newborns.

This year's Mother's Day gift is a cell phone cover for iPhone 4/4 S, designed by the man behind the Hummel and Company Karma, Christian Stadil. All proceeds go to Maternity Worldwide's projects.