"Oh, darling, remember last night when she got the presque-zizi caught up in the tablecloth?
Lovely wedding this past Saturday in Stockholm. The king's youngest daughter Princess Madeleine, fourth in line for the Swedish throne, was married to British-born American businessman Christopher Paul O'Neill. You two crazy kids couldn't keep your paws off each other! Off you go to make some babies!
Happily, Madeleine had a loving groom, wonderful weather, a happy populace, a supportive family and posse of friends, and a beautiful Valentino gown, all to buffer herself from the obligation to invite weird Cousin Derfie and his ghastly wife Yrma La Douche, Countess of ute-shagging, Pony Club Starmakers. Dragging her husband's increasingly diminished and pixie-like carcass in front of the cameras, Yrma proved a horrid and ill-mannered guest, as the photos below prove. Her insecurity and vapid personality and lack of interest in others left her lost, dazed and beyond redemption in trying to be a part of the royal mob, especially notable on the top deck of the boat taking the wedding guests from the royal palace to Drottningholm Palace where the reception was held. Luckily, the many guests - several of whom are aristocrats from the groom's private sphere, unlike the ocker guests Mary invited to her own wedding - were able to screen Madde and Chris from the bogan in their midst in her raspberry-coloured, cheap lace sheath with nude peekaboo underlay and hideous sheer cape, reminiscent of polyester chiffon sarongs older women wear over their bathing suits to hide their cellulite, as well as reminiscent of some of Queen Sonja's most-noted, wing-armed fashion mistakes. Poor Madeleine - you can't choose your family, a lesson she knows well through her own brother's girlfriend. (Thank goodness for the delightful and well-behaved Princess Estelle!) Good luck setting up home in NYC and have fun being Mrs. O'Neill!
Health, wealth and happiness to the happy young couple!
Wedding Fashion Critiques: Go Fug Yourself
"Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! There they are! All my cameras!"
"Ah! Oh! Wha! Hey now! hahahahaha! Is it a liner, or is it SKIN?! Peekaboo! Wha hae!"
"You really can't tell. But you keep staring! Because I'M THAT SEXY."
That bump better not be the Miracle Triplets!
Taken seconds before her tongue reached out and slapped Fred for talking too long to a pretty blonde the previous night.
The only one waving!
"Oi! Fred MOVE GODDAMMIT. Wait you guys. Gotta get just the right angle. Oh, now, wait, I'm trying to manipulate the light so this turns out good. FRED, MOVE! This is the only way I'm useful!"
"Now what? Who can I talk to? Goddamn Marie keeps chatting up people SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW. Ho, yeah. Like that's appropriate! Valentino doesn't care, buttercup!"
Nice that American-born Kelly of Saxe-Coburg und Gotha has stayed down below away from participating in Mary's private freak show. As a fellow native English speaker, Kelly would be easy prey!
Mary off in the corner, poor Fred consoling himself with Tatiana while his love Vickan shows her husband tender affection.
Again, the only one waving!
"Joizuz, you all get togeethah alreedy! Oi'm troiying to take a photie of youse!" to the sound of crickets.
Lovely Marie is being attended to by her doting husband and is interacting with the otherwise unescorted Best Man. Nice! No one ever figured out who Yrma was photographing! Psst, Marie, have Valentino give you some new frocks!
Fred to Pavlos: "See what I mean? This shit NEVER STOPS."
Even media-savvy Marie-Chantal knows ridiculous overkill when she spots it!
"GRAB MY HAND, FRED! GRAB IT! Ugh, FINE. I will hold yours." Careful, Mares! Iron thighs and delicate lace seaming don't go well together! Unless you're part of the Brazilian samba entertainment later in the evening.
Diminished and downcast, Madam retreats to her casket as the sun comes up.
How about a palate cleanser!!?
Yay! People in love starting a life together!
Yay! Beautiful children and a young doting family!
Yay! A woman who looks and dresses like a woman!
Yay! Calm, non-anxious, well-loved babies!
Photos: Pure People, Bekia, Ewa-Marie Rundquist, Andreas Rentz, Mattis Sandblad, Vittorio Zunino Celotto