Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Billed Bladet #22: Wherein BB tries to convince us of Mary's superiority

Soooo, Princess Maxima of The Netherlands turns 40 and celebrates with her friends, family and colleagues with a gala concert, she turns up looking stunning in diamonds and a Valentino that tastefully outlines her pretty figure, looks like the loved, happy and grateful rock star that she is and Billed Bladet wants you to know that Crown Princess Mary of Denmark, with her unsexy, translucent cleavage, crocheted, asshole-colour dress and catatonic, frozen, robot face focussed only on the cameras, STOLE HER THUNDER. What a hoot!

FAIL on the we're-so-in-love hand hold. This is borderline tolerance from both of them.

The handsomest people in attendance! Mathilde has never looked better and the birthday girl just shines - and gets to wear her mother-in-law's diamonds to add a little extra to a nicely fitting Valentino dress. Haakon came without his wife Mette-Marit because she was home wrapping up the studies she's been undertaking since last September. Good excuse. Too bad Mary refuses to seek inspiration from her. Crown Princess Mary's bestie got D's and E's in art and history classes!

Maxima is going to get so much better with age and will be so much fun to watch.

Naturally, BB had to mix Mary in with the beautiful and sexy guests as a favour to Madam for her largesse in appearing in BB's recent "happy family" PR photo ops. Naturally, Mary's narcissism prevents her from seeing how poorly she stands up to actual beauties.

A relaxed Anne-Marie in Greece; Victoria visiting Daniel's home region of Ockelbo; Beatrice's remarkable transformation.

The re-organisation meeting that will transform the Danish monarchy happened in Greenland. Mor and son join forces against More(y) Antoinette and her sans culottes (literally!) friends Kylie and Amber.

Meanwhile, the Countess of Frederiksborg continues her patronage with the blind, a metaphorical connection to the DRF's continued (for now!) association with La Boganista.

Joachim got around at the racetrack on a snazzy folding bicycle.

Daisy's friend Flemming Luttichau was laid to rest recently. The Sluuuuurrrrrppppsons must be back at their "villa" in France, aka their unconverted goat barn, because they didn't show up for the free food & flowers and photo ops with Queen Margrethe.

A little note to let you know that Freddles will be joining his parents on a visit to Russia. More More will be staying at home. Point: Daisy!

Joachim visited an Odense cultural festival recently and scored points by purchasing a shwarma to eat from a local vendor.

Mary Donaldson will be packing up and heading down to Oz with her latest purchases from Prada on display and the twins in their mink suitcases. The older three are coming, too. Looker Me! Tour #5 is officially in the planning stages! Note the aside that Frederik, and only him, will soon be on a Japan goodwill tour to pay respects to the Imperial Family and pass out goodies from Danish companies.

Another Frex Ex! Hottie Nina Klinker Stephenson was out and about, conveniently adding to the recent display of Fred's Better Dating Past. Goal: to remind the Danes that Fred could actually choose smart, sexy women - and why not let him try again!?

Princess Nathalie, just days away from her wedding, receives a congratulatory bouquet from Billed Bladet at one of her recent equestrian events. Her religious wedding is scheduled for Saturday, June 18.

BB thinks Izzy and Ingrid are like two drops of water - identical. Nah. Ingrid is best on view in Anne-Marie's kids, especially Nikolaos. Izzy sadly has her More More's thin lips, not Ingrid's plump Cupid's bow. Izzy looks more like the Queen Mother, making her in Fred's drug-induced logic, her own great-grandmother!

Billed Bladet continues to find other people far more interesting than the Countess of Monpezat. Here, they highlight the state visit from the US to the UK. Michelle Obama looked fantastic in a white Tom Ford dress at the white tie gala dinner at Buckingham Palace and in black Ralph Lauren at the return dinner at the US Embassy.

The Duchess of Cambridge in a nice chat with Michelle Obama, which is more than Mary can boast. This photo went around the world. Try again, Mary! Kate's as exciting as cardboard, so you shouldn't find this difficult. And yet...

Even Pippa is more interesting! Here she is trying to steal the heart of someone who will one day be among Britain's richest men. Can't fault a girl for trying!

Daisy and Henrik on a tour through the countryside.


  1. I didn't realize that Marie-Chantal's dress was so see-through until I saw this picture. Yikes! I wonder why we haven't seen more of the "miracle" twins?

  2. I know, the enlarged version (click, then click again if your computer fits it into the page) really makes it look like she doesn't have anything on underneath!

    I would guess that the twins are either not so miraculous, or Mary's already bored with them and a tiny little part of her brain is indicating that maybe they were a mistake.