Derf and Yrma in Beijing, Day Three: Madam Is Attacked By Leftover Strip of Sister Patty's Crime Scene Carpet 'Fur' Coat

Mary: "See? That's my father giving a speech on wind energy!"

Official: "So, is this your step-mother?"

Final day of this tour to promote Danish business interests and design. The party moved to a freezing cold Beijing for a more artistically oriented agenda. The bogan princess seems to have been given a fur wrap to wear by Kopenhagen fur, but it sure looks like sister Patty's crime scene carpet fur coat for the playground as well as a ratty scarf Mares tied around her neck at a 2003 Christmas mass in Aarhus. She didn't exactly dress for the weather, so someone had to do something for her: red coat meant to evoke Kate Middleton, her beige engagement shoes with dark stockings (ugh). She still pulled the scarf up around her face like she did in Iceland with her jumper. Like a child. Or her husband. Same thing.

This couple barely care about each other anymore. I think at their peak, they had settled from trying to each approach love in their own strange way, evolved quickly into a special 'we're partners in crime' mutual beneficial society about them. Never really love. But now the contempt is nearly palpable. When Mary's ready to play lovebirds for the cameras, Derf doesn't play along. When Derfie is feeling "sportif!", Madam MoreMore won't play along. They are a contemptable pair of doofuses showing the world that Denmark is not the country where you want to place your bets.

Video: TV2

Red Brick Contemporary Art Museum
9:00am
The Crown Princely Couple will be present at the new Red Brick Contemporary Art Museum in Beijing and be present for among other things an installation by Olafur Eliasson, an exhibit by Michael Kvium, a sculpture by Christian Lemmerz together with the museums main exhibit of Erik A. Frandsen.

Faurschou Foundation
10:00am
The Crown Princely Couple will visit the Danish gallery Faurschou Foundation at 798 International Arts District and be present for the exhibition ”Alone and Together” with work by Louise Bourgeois.

LEGO Education Centre
11:00am
The Crown Princely Couple visits the LEGO Education Centre and kick-off event for the LEGO competition “Build your world”. The Crown Prince together with the director for LEGO in China Esben Stærk Jørgensen will start the competition.

Arla
12:15pm
The Crown Princely Couple participates at the kick-off of Arla's new product in China, UHT (langtidsholdbar) milk, at the Danish Ambassador's in Beijing. After the kick-off, the Crown Princely Couple will watch a Danish top chef cook a meal.

My Danish Footprint in China
2:00pm
The Crown Princely Couple will be presented at the Danish Ambassador in Beijing's CSR initiative ”My Danish Footprint in China”. The Crown Princess will give a speech. Afterward, the Crown Princely Couple will watch a match between Danish badminton player Peter Gade and the Chinese badminton player Bao Chunlai.

Fashion Event
4:00pm
The Crown Princely Couple participates at the Danish Ambassador's in an event with representatives of Danish fashion companies Kopenhagen Fur, LINDBERG and House of Amber. The Crown Princely Couple will watch a fashion show by three Danish fashion companies and be presented with the firms' charitable initiatives.

Gala Dinner
7:00pm
The Crown Princely Couple participates in a gala dinner at the Kempinski Hotel. The Crown Prince will give a speech.

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

Sportif!

  

 

 

Photos: Keld Navntoft and Jason Lee, Scanpix

Derf and Yrma in Hong Kong, Day Two: Two People Generating a Whole Lot of Nothing

Woman to Derf: "I hear you like them this big." Derf: "That's about right. Send her to Room 901"

Man to Yrma: "No worries, Madam. There are many blokes who like a flat arse." Yrma: "Er?"

 

 

Pretty slim schedule for the Derfies today. Maybe they packed in plenty of time for Derf to get a special Asian rady massage and for Madam to shop or meet her Georg Jensen sweetheart for a sexy five minute rendez-vous (Derfie mercifully hasn't lasted more than two minutes in five years, so five minutes will be extra sexy time!). Guess what, though? No one will miss them.

 

Friday, 7 December 2012

 

INDEX: Award 2011 Exhibition

10:30am

The Royal Couple is responsible for the opening of the exhibition INDEX: Award 2011 by the Danish NGO INDEX: Design to Improve Life. The exhibition shows the winners and finalists of the INDEX: Award, which has been exhibited all over the world. The Crown Prince gives a speech.

Food Event
Noon
The Crown Princely Couple participate in a food event at FINDS restaurant (Finnish, Icelandic, Norwegian, Danish, Swedish) with Danish food from Danish Crown and the Danish brewery Mikkeller.

B & O
2:00pm
The Crown Princely Couple visit Bang & Olufsen store at Pacific Place in Admiralty. The Crown Prince was presented to the Danish electronics company's product development and Bang & Olufsen partners.

 



Photos: Keld Navntoft, Scanpix

Derf and Yrma in Hong Kong, Day One: Madam's Face Has Jumped the Shark, Frozen Into Place With Fillers and Botulism, She Can't Even Flirt With Her Special Georg Jensen Man

Pretty dress minus maybe the epaulets. Wait, is that a teensy bit of a Spanx line right there under the waistband? So close! Otherwise, same song, different concert hall. Noting that Madam La Boganista has basically become a robot princess-thinggie, and that the Derf Man is coasting through life on whisky and blondes with occasional lapses into sobriety and interaction with his children or a sailboat, the Grey Men (tm) have wisely decided that it shall be our Disappointing Danish Duo who are sent around the world to open the same dog and pony show on Danish Design and Innovation. As a result, they will not be helping the "innovation" part of that branding; design is a stretch, too. The artificially-enhanced pair (he injects alcohol as she does face fillers) will repeat the same small talk, the same talking points about the iconic Ant Chair or the restaurant Noma, plugging the Made-in-China products of their rich besties: yacht owner and Scanomat coffee man Kim Vibe Pedersen; the private jet, Lego toys and amusement parks of Keld Kjær Christiansen; the patronage and windmills of Vestas' Ditlev Engel; the private jet and environmental systems components of the executives at Danfoss including Hans Michael Jebsen, pictured with the Derfs below.

Same, same, same. So no chance with this uncreative and useless pair to make any real mark. Such a shame. All that's new about Mary is that she's taken out the Romanian wiglets and is letting her fried, ratty-ends hair fly in the wind. At least MoreMore was able to ogle jewellery and to meet up with a man she's openly flirted with before, a rep from Georg Jensen. Fred had a moment to chat up the Asian lady there.  Yet BT is still focusing on someone other than Mary. She's like a Where's Waldo on a website she used to own. Mary, you've jumped the shark, along with your youth. Good luck shilling Legos!

Agenda, Thursday, 6 December 2012

Hong Kong

Business of Design Week
The Royal Couple is responsible for the official opening of the Fashion Fair Business of Design Week (BoDW) at the Hong Kong Convention and Exhibition Centre. HRH Crown Prince Frederik gives a speech.

Hong Kong Trade Development Council
9:35am
The Crown Princely Couple attends the opening of the Hong Kong Trade Development Council World SME Expo and Hong Kong Inno Design Tech Expo (IDT Expo) at the Hong Kong Convention and Exhibition Centre. World SME Expo presents various business opportunities including Chinese trading strategies, IT and e-business. IDT Expo is an innovation exhibition where new technological design solutions are presented.

Design Society Denmark
10:20am
The Royal Couple is responsible for the official opening of the Danish pavilion "Design Society Denmark" on BoDW. HRH The Crown Princess makes a speech. After the opening, the Crown Princely Couple will visit 25 Danish companies' booths in the Danish pavilion.

Pandora
2:45pm
The Crown Princely Couple visits the Danish jewellery company Pandora's new store in the mall Hysan Place.

Carl Hansen & Son
3:30pm
The Crown Princely Couple will be present in Victoria Harbour to see a selection of Carl Hansen & Son furniture and the company's strategy in relation to Hong Kong and China.

Georg Jensen
5:00pm
The Crown Princely Couple visits the Danish jewellery and design firm Georg Jensen store in the mall IFC Mall.

Gala Dinner
8:00pm
The Crown Princely Couple participates in the Danish Commerce gala dinner at Hong Kong Parkview. The Crown Prince will give a speech.

Everyone with their new partners!

Photo Gallery: Sjællands Nyheder

Photo Gallery: BT

Article: BT

Inspired Crown Prince: Was It Something About Mary?

Starting today, Thursday to Saturday, Frederik and Mary of Denmark are official representatives in Hong Kong and Beijing, China.

The visit aims to promote Danish interests in business, design, fashion and culture. And the Crown Prince couple's first task was to open a major exhibition in design and business in Hong Kong.

Here, Denmark was of course represented not only by the royal couple but with a pavilion with 25 booths, where guests could see many different examples of Danish design.

Music lover Frederick's gaze immediately fell on a set of speakers in a modern design. And since Mary just smiled sweetly, because she also has an ear for music, so it is certainly not inconceivable that the modern speakers will soon have a place in one of the royal rooms in Frederick IIV's Palace at Amalienborg.

In addition to the modern speakers the couple also saw furniture, jewellery from Georg Jensen and Pandora, models of urban environments and what you can build with Lego bricks. Additionally, they will at the World SME Expo exhibition, which is an exhibition where new technological design solutions will be on display, will also be presented to the Chinese trading strategies, IT and e-business.

Later in the evening, Frederik and Mary will come in stylish clothes to participate in the Danish Commerce gala dinner which will be held in Hong Kong Parkview. Here Frederik will also give a speech.

 

 

Bang & Olufsen

Carl Hansen and Sons
 

Lego

 

 

Copenhagen Solutions

Pandora

 

"Hmmm, are these the free ones?"

 

Does she ever look at anything else with so much passion?

She has never looked at her own children so adoringly.

Georg Jensen

Suddenly, there's a tummy and no boobs. Horrid purse and shoes with that dress.

 

"I want to flirt with this bloke but I can't move my face!"

 

 "Ugh, this is definitely not jewellery...tuning out again!"
 

Pretending to be loving and caring, but it's all an act.

 

 

 

At the home of rich Dane Hans Michael Jebsen who is on the board of Danfoss, the company that lent Derf and Madam their own jet to escape Thailand a few years ago during riots

 

At the gala dinner

 

Photos: Philippe Lopez