Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Billed Bladet #36: The babies are kicking!

"Now they're kicking!" The cover is explicitly calling out Mary's five month pregnancy with twins with the more normal pregnancy of Caroline Fleming who is only two months further along with half as many babies!

Dignified Marie and Joachim meeting Danish soldiers during Flag Day with the Prime Minister and other Danish political and religious leaders.

BB seems to really celebrate Marie and her numerous duties now that Mary has proven to be less of a mag seller.

Mary in draped muslin and droopy gray satin.

Mary says they may move into the psychedelically coloured Amalienborg palace before she gives birth. Something about a state of normal for Fred with wild colours and forms. With the new decor, even in his sober state Fred can be satiated.

Madeleine gets the Royal Gala Dress of the Week, while Mary gets Royal Dress of the Week for the unflattering gray satin dress. The lady in the print dress on the first page seems to be wearing earrings based on Fred's account of the entrance to Mary's lady cave as he described it to his shrink, Dr. Freudenborg.

TV Baroness Caroline Fleming with her footy baby showing Mary how one can look both pregnant and elegant.

Wha...who...Katja and Daisy were both at the ballet recently! Katja is photographed with her former father-in-law. Nice way to signal to the future mother-in-law that family is important! Love how Katja is rocking a sexy librarian look. One of Fred's fantasies is being spanked by his stern nanny after returning books too late and incurring loads of fees that he must pay back with The Naughty.

BB seems to have deliberately chosen a photo of Mary that makes her look skinny! In an $1800 t-shirt, Mary celebrates the death of the woman who would have body-blocked her from little Freddie!

Note bene, Mary: this is how an actual couple in love look. I know he looks like you'd catch bed bugs from him, but try doing this with your husband one of ... oh, never mind. No one'd believe it.

A letter asking about the Berleburg kids - they are excluded from succession to the Danish throne.

A new biography of Henrik is in bookstores and was written by a French-Danish woman who was invited by the prince to Joachim and Marie's wedding as a guest since she was in the middle of writing the book and he is kind. She says she was always excusing herself to go to the bathroom to write things down. Cute! Mary should pray that this book will never be published in English!

The winsome king-in-training Nikolai from his 11th birthday photo shoot. Guess BB just had to reproduce it again to get the public used to this face over the greasy, splotchy potato face of his ungainly cousin Xian Amin Mugabe Ceausescu Beelzebub.

Henrik: Got it, paint on linen. Call me when lunch is ready.
Madde's thought bubble: Get a room!
Reporter to Marie: Stay still, I just need to sketch your hair now.
Guide to Daisy: It's called "The Twins From Down Under". (Ouch, Mary!!)

As a way of underscoring the terrible look of the Kancellihuset gang, Style Finder has decided to highlight a fashion montage reminiscent of Mary's flannie and tinnie days.

Izzy's lovely Auntie Victoria and her new prince Daniel attended a music awards event with her parents. Daddy Carl Gustaf was seated next to the evening's laureat Björk. I don't think BB has ever called Mary's look "self-confident style"!

While in Singapore during his cousin Nik's wedding on Spetses, Fred paid a visit to the Danish Seaman's Church (heh heh) for their 25th anniversary and heard the story of the church clock which was a bell his great-grandfather Christian X was given for helping save a Swedish ship in Greenland 89 years ago. For this he was called a hero. Fred hasn't ever saved anything but the last drop in a bottle of schnaps.

Mary is so lame. Since she had already scheduled a colonic that day, the grey suits had to pull Benedikte from Germany and Anne-Marie from Greece to get someone to go to a ribbon cutting at an old folks' home.

Alex, Martin and the boys went to the circus recently. In the stands were Joachim's friend Oscar Siesbye and his mother Ida Davidsen the smørrebrød queen. They are loyal friends to be with Joachim's first wife for whom they still have a named sandwich on their menu, just as with Joachim's second wife. Fred's first wife Mary still doesn't have one. Team Schackenborg knows how to close rank!

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