Looker Me!: Yrma at Randergade School: What Scandalised PM/Travel Partner/Flirt? I'M the Children's Princess! See? SEE?

"Uh, you can LET GO NOW, beer man person."

 

 

What scandal? No scandal! Former Cabinet Minister Christian Friis Bach is still in Parliament. The man resigned BEFORE anything came to the surface. Fell on his sword for having lied about how much in travel expenses were approved for the Global Green Growth Institute (GGGI). That means he is either made of solid gold, or a complete idiot. We'll be paying attention.

 

But isn't it interesting that Our Man Friis Bach (the Danish press is generally praising him for his hasty retreat from wrongdoing), has spent a lot of time travelling all over the globe with the Clown Princess, staying in 5-star luxury hotels while "working" with Madam on the elimination of poverty and cruel living and social conditions for women, aka, helping Madam the Countess of Red Soled Shoes Plucked From Copenhagen's Finest Boutiques exploit and denegrate locals while seeking the title of The New Diana so that finally someone anyone anywhere will make her an international celebrity. It never stops with narcissists. So, who is investigating the extreme empty spendthrift holidays in foreign ports that Madam MoreMore takes?

 

The Mary Fund plays a very sketchy role in Mary's life and public relations. Who uses this organisation to give her money to do what exactly besides purchase lots of medals to put over the heads of kids who participate in the annual Copenhagen-based anti-bullying race The Mary Fund sponsors? Who pays for the boondoggles to Africa and South America? The Malaysian conference? Amber's visits to Europe or America? Mary's wardrobe as purchased in the US and other countries where she can't get away with leaving the shops with the merch under one arm like she does in Denmark? The Mary Fund does nothing but promote Mary with peanuts thrown to groups that are associated with Mary's own patronages. So why are groups like Carlsberg giving so generously as they did as recently as last week (see photo above)? We do know Madam isn't above helping Danish (and other) companies with a little publicity in exchange for dough. She learned the details back in Australia long before Derfie was eating cereal in his boxers on Mary's sharehouse sofa. Now she's got deep pockets to use her skills on. What will be the next step? For now, it is DISTRACT THE PEASANTS WITH MARY BEING LOVED ON BY CHILDREN AND CARING ABOUT HEART HEALTH.

 

 

 

Let's Talk About Sex, Baby: Mary and Mister Bach Meet Privately with Their High Level Task Force on Sexual and Reproductive Health: Can't Hide Guilty Looks!

Guilty! Pupils dilated and diverted, you can practically see their accelerated heart rates!

 

There's a new Sydney Morning Herald article appearing this weekend about Princess Mary and her great love Mr. Christian Friis Bach and how their chemistry is palpable and. Wait, no. That's not it. Got the notes mixed up here. Ok, let's start again.

Yesterday, Little Mary Boganson met her super-crush and Poverty Celebrity Facilitator (it says so on his business cards) Mr. Christian Friis Bach, otherwise known as elected Member of Parliament and Development Minister and Undiplomatic Refugee Discourager, and together they went to meet at Christiansborg Palace, heart of the government (careful, Mary! no politics!), to discuss women's sexual health and reproductive rights. One staged photo was allowed inside, only one photographer was called to record arrival and departure. Of course, nothing was going on. It's all legit, people. It looks like Mary is deliberately thumbing her nose at Daisy and the no-politics rule that royals are to obey, but that's not what's going on, Mary is just super concerned about her ability to have however many baby gargoyles she needs to secure her position and likes to get close to Mister B because he's got that dopey schoolboy charm that dumb Fred used to have before he got over her and she likes to say naughty, body-part words in legitimate conversation because when you engage in foreplay in front of people it's not foreplay women's rights around the world blah blah poverty is bad. Rich sauce from a woman who will happily incubate more and more tiny bogan-doodles in order to keep a psychodelic roof over her head - and all at taxpayers expense! Who's the real welfare queen now?

Oh, and nothing is going on with her and Mister B because CFB brought his gorgeous wife to Daisy's party for the Vietnamese president not long ago because, impossible. JUST LOOK THE OTHER WAY PLEASE THANKYOU. Alright? It's about The Poors. Yeah, let's go with that. (For the record, there is no way CFB is banging Madam. They are both in this for other things, but do seem to have a thing for each other. CFB wouldn't act on it, but MoreMore would if given the chance. She is proving herself to be that stupid.)

 

Photos: Sex og Samfund

The Mary Fund Wants You To Know That Derf and Yrma's Marriage is JUST FINE THANK YOU And To Prove It, They Sponsored a Footie Match Photo Shoot With Kid Thinggies As Props, Er, Beneficiaries

"Oh, hahaha! What fun. We'll deal with this AT HOME, Fred. Hahaha! Fun day!"

 

 

So The Mary Fund has a new venture! Klubfidusen. It's a football game where all the kids have to hold hands. It shows them that teamwork and togetherness is the best thing ever and gets rid of bullying. AND, it allows Mary to bring Fred somewhat willingly (it is under the guise of sports, after all) and make him hold her hand for the demonstration game. The game that demonstrates for the naysayers that Mary and Fred ARE SO IN LOVE. See? What more proof do you want, already? Crikey!

 

Video: YouTube

 

 

"I look super cute in my Olympics jacket from Vancouver. You know who else has been to the Olympics? My soul sister Kate. I want her to see me in my own Olympics gear!"

"Don't mind him, he's just mad he couldn't get through Argentinian airline security recently with a tango lady folded up in his bag."

"I totally look like Kate doing her usual maniacal grin, don't I? We are like SISTERS."

 

Mary: "I said HERE, bitch. Stand here and look goddam loving, arright?"

 

"I look super contemplative here, I just know it. Like a warrior in repose! Like Diana of the Hunt! DIANA! It is all so symbiotic with me!"

 

"Shit. I should have made sure only the court photographer was here to ensure Photoshopping my complexion and roots."

"Sorry. This is the face I make when I can't understand Danish types." 

"Now that play has stopped, Mary, I'll just take you by your one sausage finger."

 

"Get ready to be dragged and thrown all over the place, Mary. I'm still on my jet ski high!" 

"Let's beat the crap out of them, Mary! I'm still smarting from my windsurfing disaster yesterday!" 

"Fred, I told you. This isn't a real game, it's a photo shoot! Now look in love! With ME." 

"Hands clasped so the cameras can see them, Fred!" 

"This is SO reminiscent of Kate playing hockey just before going to hospital. The world press will see it immediately!" 

"Whoopsie! Sorry kids! Had to get in an action shot to make my legs look long!" 

"Yay! This seems to have gone off without anyone the wiser! Just the publicity I need before the Vietnamese State Visit tomorrow!"

 

"And that's the story of how you can lose everything that's important to you. So let me hear you! What's the moral of the story? That's right! Don't listen to your mother!"

 

Hm, Madam doesn't seem to command a whole lot of respect from the very children she purports to help, based on what the blond kid behind her is doing. It's like kharma is serving up a little dish based on Mary giving Felix the bunny ears treatment at the Hubertus Hunt a couple of years ago.

When kids screw up your message of Madam being so bloody wonderful by giving her bunny ears, then just have them throw up their hands in the air! Yeah, that's it! Everyone seems to think it means something fun. Go with it!

 

 

 

 

Photos:  Jens Dresling and Jesper Sunesun/Billed Bladet

 

 

The Yrma Fund: Taking Only Deposits In The Mary Ego Account

"Me. This is my Sincere Look. Me me me. MeMeMeMeMe. No one else. Got it? I totally look like Kate, right?"



Another phony baloney, court-photographer-only, meeting of The Mary Fund in one of the more palatable rooms in the psychedelic palace at Amalienborg. This gal is being TIGHTLY controlled by the Grey Men. They know exactly who they are dealing with: a vacuous, narcisstic, tightly-wound publicity hound with nothing to offer. Not even the chairwoman of this tackily-named fund seemed to show up at this slide show meeting. These photies are to make you believe that Mary and Mary alone runs this show, and that it's more than just a front to get her invited to empty, global celebrity charity events (and act as a money filter for the ALERKA vaccuum) and invites back to Oz for Looker Me! Tours. This stupid chick will stop at nothing to get her ugly mug in the press, but she brings NOTHING to the table. Daisy, girl, I hope you are just giving her enough rope for her to hang herself!

Kate dress and Kate affectations!

A carefully choreographed photo to make you believe Mary runs the place and that everyone there is her lackey. Nuh-uh. She's controlled by having Caroline at her left, and Derfie's court marshal (the new Per the Hornet) Christian Schønau two down on her right. This is all styled for your consumption so you don't see that MADAM IS REALLY THE WORLD'S BIGGEST BOGAN!

Photos: Steen Brogaard

FAIL: Princess MeMeMeMeMe Poses Through Morocco For Aussie Mags While Visiting Peasants to Push New Diana Image To Australian Public Upon Arrival For Upcoming Opera House Visit

"Well, it kinda looks like the Taj Mahal, donnit?"

 

 

What a buffoon! The sticky-out bum bum is back! Denmark is playing a risky game here, letting this strumpet march right back out into a MENA country on the heels of her Syrian refugee camp debacle, to go to Morocco and strut around like she's in a shampoo commercial. Those headscarves are so helpful to make dramatic reveals, eh, Mares? It's so embarrassing, and worse still, no one seems to be telling her to knock it the fuck off. Cue the heavy cutesy-poo, look-what-you're-missing-Mr. Bach sashaying through sacred mausoleums and sites of industry and charitable expansion.

 

The Mary Fund isn't even doing anything in Morocco, Mary's just there to "observe" (yeah, that'll go over well, the rich white lady looking at The Brown Poors from afar while holding flowers in a blocking gesture) the other organisations doing their work and I suppose "taking something" from her quickie experiences back to The Mary Fund's work in Denmark? In other words, Mary's good at empty corporate-speak, this is all one big photo shoot, with Moroccan security personnel paying to protect her, all to pump up the antipodal natives for Mary's Looker Me! Tour #6 in a couple months. Bitch can't even speak French. She probably giggles when saying "Bonjour" to the locals, after all, to Mary, it's just the language of Henrik and Joachim's Petit Croissant. Useless parasite, that's what you are, Mary.

 

Photo Gallery: Associated Press

 

 

Day One. Visiting the Muhammad V Mausoleum in Rabat.

"And I kinna look like Diana, don' I? The Aussie papers will LOVE this."

 

"Caroline told me about Sonja Ghandasi or some such before we left ..."

 

"She is another gorgeous, Western brunette who also wore these blankets on her head and talked to The Poors."

 

"The secret is making it look like you're a soft, introspective person. That is HARD."

 

"SEE? I'm concentrating SO HARD on not looking at the cameras."

 

"Then after counting to ten, the spell is over. Like my red hot pedi!?"

 

 

"M. A. uh. oh yeah! R. Y!"

"Phew, time to go!"

Day Two. Visiting a Women's Centre in Rabat.

"OMG. This will sell so well in Oz!"

 

"How's this? Look good? Get me at a 3/4 shot, it's the most flattering."

 

"Hello lover! I see your long lens! Tihi!"

 

"Wait, let me toss my hair, let's see how that'll look, OK?"

 

"Hold the shot everyone! This'll make me so beloved at home."

 

"OK, bye-bye, widdle people! Boo-boo-pi-do!"

 

"OK, little brown person, I'll "shake" your finger!"

 

"Aww, hello little Muslim lady person."

 

"Lucky you to be meeting ME!"

 

"I'm a star in Australia, Europe and North America!"

 

"It's like looking at Kate Middleton, innit? I get that A LOT."

 

"I'm super glad this big table and enormous flower arrangement are keeping us at a distance!"

 

"Shit. Didn't think of people sitting on the side."

 

"Me? Sew? You've got to be kidding."

 

"Honey, I don't even know how to boil water."

 

"Awww. What are you girls doing?"

 

"So, they don't seem to speak English, what are they doing?"

 

"Well, that's quite enough for me! I'll not offer you these flowers to enjoy and leave you be!"

 

"It's like the boss lady paid you a courtesy visit, but I didn't even bring you anything!"

 

"Awww. Isn't this sweet? Reminds me of granny's house."

 

"This one reminds me of some of the cheap shit they sell at the Salamanca Market."

 

"Sparky better be picking this shot up. It's a total Miss Australia look with these flowers!"

 

"What? You thought Kate was the only one who could colour her hair? Where do you think she got the idea, hm?"

 

 

 

At a local courthouse.

That face sort of says it all.

 

 

At the Danish Embassy.

"Finally. Around semi-normal people."

 

"This one's for you, CFB! Miss you!"

 

"Yeah, yeah, hej, hej, whatever."

 

"Marie's not the only one who can wear a push up bra and long necklace."