Happy Birthday, Mary! Thanks For the Laughs, the Blog Friendships, the Good Times: My Work Here Is Done: You Are Still a Loser. Good Luck With That.

"What? You'll be back. After all, it's ME!"

 

This is the last post of the Danish Royal Media Watch. Barring any head injuries or divorce announcements at the court of the Clown Princely Couple, this is it. One last chance to say goodbye and to thank you and Maz for all the good times.

Nota bene: there is no truth to the rumours that this blog has been shut down by Daisy, the Grey Men (tm), or any another person or entity. It's just time to move on and focus on wonderful life changes. I'm also finally tired of waiting for Fred to divorce and have no more energy for a dipshit fame whore from Tasmania as she brings Denmark closer to revolt and a republican form of government.

I hope Hester will pop up in the comments and give her two kroner on thissie, but I think she'd agree that the whole time she and I put this blog and the CPMary blog together, you all (both our friends and the sourpusses) have kept us going. Yrma may be the petrol that has fueled this motor, but you've been there to make us want to drive down this scenic royal road. Thanks for the fun, here and on RD. Most of you have been a delight to write for and have fun with. It's amazing to see how many people all across the world have followed the blog. Every funny and lovely comment was an uplifting joy to read. Nearly every pissy comment was pretty fun, too. As Derf is yet to discover, you can't fix stupid, but you can have fun with it! Thank you all.

Today is Mary's 42nd birthday. I still take no comfort in the fact that she is a woman who has arrived at middle age with every material comfort and extravagance at her disposal as a person with no sense of duty, no self-awareness, no empathy, no sense of obligation or responsibility except to her own vanity, with a jowly face full of fillers and as a truly corrupt and ineffective representative of the Kingdom of Denmark. She doesn't just suckle at the public teat; she demands more and better milk beyond anything she can drink. Mazza is a vapid, unimportant, uncaring, totally narcissistic tick on Denmark's arse, sucking up all the blood she can drink until the peasants realise they should pull this toxic insect out of their skin, yank its head off (metaphorically), then send it to the waste bin of history.

Mary, you will always be a loser.



I Said, LOOKER ME!: Yrma In Damage Control Mode: Marie Getting Positive Attention, International Panning of the Kluge Portrait, Bach Falling on His Sword, New Guy Ugly: What's a Bogan To Do?

Mary: "Boo! You love ME, the Children's Princess, not that awful French piece, don't you!?

Girl: "Listen, cupcake, if you think showing up with sugary snacks is all it takes to win you points, you got another thing coming."

 

 

So, Mary has been having Caroline and Tanja read her the papers and they're all swanning over "natural", "gentle", "warm", "lovely", "kind" Princess Marie and all of her domestically-oriented, child-welfare patronages, and over cute Mr. Bach who resigned in a haze of confusion about his actual role in a relatively tiny government scandal related to overspending which is just a little too adjacent to how MoreMore handles her own affairs, and how he won't be around to accompany Madam around the world on her personal MeMeMeMeMe junkets and how his replacement Rasmus Helveg Petersen is not flirt-worthy, and how Fred might or might not be either on a major bender, or in rehab, and finally, how the international press was gobsmacked by the recent Thomas Kluge painting, including random American fashion bloggers and others who otherwise would not care one wit about Danish royals, and how instead of being all totally "any publicity is good publicity" it backfired and now through the photo-realistic messaging, everyone is awaiting the fall of Rome, aka Copenhagen, because of this family of weirdo freaks and this makes weird Mary and her weird children and weird marriage not so worthy of the next sugary cover of No Idea.

 

So what does our marketing genius do? Hits another kindergarten - but this time with cupcakes! messaging: Mary is very comfortable around food - with a Rasputin type named Herr Skæg (Mr. Beard from DR's Ramasjang) to get some good PR and make people forget that stupid Marie and stupid Bach and stupid Dorky Face Peterson and stupid slag bloggers who don't know anything about art! Yeah, that's the ticket!

 

Careful, Mary, men with super long beards didn't work out so well for Czarina Alexandra!

 

 

New Thomas Kluge Portrait of Danish Royal Family: "Celebrating" 150 Years Today of the Glucksborg Dynasty: Boganborg Kids Are Gargoyles, Schackenborg Gets Off Easy, All Are Oblivious to the Destruction of Civilisation Behind Them (and Because of Them?): Symbolism, Ho!

Presented without commentary, although it should be noted that even The Fug Girls couldn't let this one pass. Commemorative book can be purchased here: Saxo


The Laurits Tuxen painting that inspired the new portrait, that of the family of King Christian IX at Fredensborg, with all children and grandchildren:

Danish Inns No Longer Allowed to Use Royal Crowns in Their Signs, Letterheads or Websites: Daisy Irrationally Throws the Book at Them

Daisy! Girl. What is up? Or Lene, is this you? What in the hell are y'all doing? Seriously?

If you are not careful, "stop abuse of the crown" will be a headline following discovery of all of your deep dark secrets, Mary's post-nup, and Henrik's extramarital dalliances.

These famous inns are all over the Danish countryside and are charming places to stay, to meet people for a Christmas lunch (julfrokost) or to have a glass. Their crowns are noble adornment that no one associates directly with the Crown, least of all a business relationship. It's more of an insignia that one is in royal Denmark, the charming country with a monarchy and loads of castles all over the place, and stories of all sorts of naughty and nice kings and queens over the years. It's part of the backstory. So these places being asked to remove a decoration that speaks mostly to the country's history, not its monarch, is especially odd. But then again, Daisy did look at Mary and think she could be controlled and grateful. Look how that one turned out!

Article: Berlingske

The Royal Family Wants to Stop Abuse of the Crown
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Many Danish Inns had until 10 May 1912 the right to adorn themselves with the title 'Royal Privileged'.

With the court also followed the possibility of using the crown - for example by allowing it to adorn the facade, menu card or letterhead. But it goes no further, says Jyllands-Posten.

According to the newspaper, the royal family is unhappy with the abuse, which for these inns, being privileged has not been legal since 1912.

It is the National Archives, as the royal family's behalf shall ensure that rules are respected, and this underlines the chief consultant Poul Olsen, that there are special rules for the application of such crown.

"We enforce the rules adopted on the matter of the royal family. We do this continuously when new cases crop up, and when we become aware that there is a breach of the rules, "he explains to Jyllands-Posten.

Fano Krogaard is one of the places that have been ordered to remove the crown. It amazes innkeeper January Faerch, 'the crown can be found in many places around the premises, it is part of our logo that is on letterhead and second and it goes back to our website," he told Jyllands-Posten and stresses that it can become a costly affair to remove the many crowns around the inn, which has been around since in 1662.

Trine Villemann Goes After Countess Alexandra's Appange: Mazza Should Be Very Afraid and Reign It In, But You Know That Will Never Happen. Mwoah.

Trine Villemann is angry about a lot of things these days. Understandably so as she and her family have had their world turned upside down and their livelihoods threatened in the aftermath of her husband's ostensibly innocuous yellow fever jab and the subsequent ongoing legal battles thereof. She's also rightfully upset at this non-news on Alexandra, former wife of Joachim and one-time "perfect princess" for Denmark. However, she's not letting you know that Alex pays tax on her annual salary. Probably a touch more than 50%. So, that's money that goes back into government coffers.

Trine uses her Politiken column to react to the latest appearance of Alexandra, along with her second husband Martin, and her two sons Nikolai and Felix, in Billed Bladet, the court-adjacent weekly glossy with all sorts of shallow, sugary stories about the royals, celebrities and other public people. Alex appears every now and again in the press, usually little fluff pieces like this one, because there seems to be a small interest in her and her two sons, who are quite handsome and as the queen's oldest grandchildren, the first two "royals" the public will see grow from boys to men. It has always seemed very wise how Alexandra and Prince Joachim have raised these children to understand their quasi-public role, their family's special position, and that they will most likely have a lifelong relationship with the media, so better to get used to it, understand it, not be afraid of it so as to better know how it works, both in good and bad ways and for each party. Smart!

Trine argues that Alex doesn't even work for her money. True, in the legislation granting Alex an annual apanage there seems to be no link to work obligations. However, Alex has retained a handful of her former royal patronages, such as UNICEF and the Association for the Blind. Perhaps it's hush money? Maybe the state of Denmark would be topsy-turvy at the stench of the rot that could come from Alex telling the truth about her time in the seraglio, which itself could tumble over onto itself from all that ground up corruption? In that case is it money well spent? Trine mentions that Sarah, Duchess of York never got a divorce settlement from the British taxpayers. Well, the queen is richer than God and she didn't contribute much either. Maybe a lot of the pains from Sarah Ferguson on the loose could have been avoided if she'd - like Alex - had a lovely, comfortable home purchased for her, with an annual money drip keeping her in just enough cotton wool as to not embarrass the royals, or be an albatross around her former husband's neck. (If QEII's favourite son is indeed Andrew, you'd think the queen would be more interested in him having the emotional space to find a lovely new wife instead of a pathologically sick woman living under his roof because she can't fend for herself?)

Should Alex be more savvy about not letting the press into her home in Turkey? Or talking about Turkey in terms that favour it as an anti-Denmark? Yes, maybe, although these things can be blown out of proportion. The press (and Alex) could use anyone for any purpose, and mostly, that is what we are seeing here between the Billed Bladet sugar rush and Trine's sarcastic reaction to it. However, Trine makes excellent points about Alexandra being very much an ideal candidate for just about any job she would want; she has the social skills and connections, and the intelligence and an understanding of the business world that most people could only dream about.

Nikolai and Felix are still minors, and until Felix's 18th or 21st birthday, the idea that "Alex's Law" should be repealed immediately is a non-issue. Alex is vulnerable after Felix hits his majority, and the issue of her appanage could be addressed by the government at the time to be negotiated down (including all the way to nothing) with the court's cooperation. These are difficult financial times Denmark and the world are living through and governments that traditionally have money to spend on social safety nets need to make sure their budgets are balanced fairly, make sure that former royals like Alex aren't either left to free-fall, but also to structure the system so that the one-time Princess Alexandra isn't seen as on par with pensioners needing medical assistance, or immigrants wanting to create better lives for themselves, or single mothers who can't, as opposed to won't, find work and desparately need to make ends meet for themselves and their children.

Mary, let all of this be a warning to you! Getting out will not guarantee you a golden parachute. Keep sluurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrppping that money into ALERKA and shoplifting all the fashion freebies you want while you can!

Article: Politiken

Throw the Countess Off the Books

No other royal houses in Europe have sent the bill for a divorce to the taxpayers.This week's edition of Billed Bladet magazine exhibits in a brilliant way how much we are the laughing stock of our own tax kroner when it comes to the royal family.
 This court-organ has visited the Countess of Frederiksborg in her fashionable villa in the luxury Resort Oasis Sky Club in Turkey.
Over a four-page spread, the sunburned former princess and her husband, sound engineer Martin Jørgensen, spoke among other things about the landscape around the couple's large villa - it is an excellent contrast to the flat Denmark, we are told.
It costs taxpayers more than two million a year to keep the Countess Alexandra in sunshine and mountain peaks.
We have been cheated for an explanation as to why the divorce - otherwise described as 'a private matter' - suddenly became our responsibility as payable.
  If the countess arrives at the average lifespan of a Danish woman, she will have cost us more than 100 million kroner before she has finished soaking up the sun.
 The act on annuities for Princess Alexandra, signed by Crown Prince Frederik on 24 November 2004, is one of the largest royal and political scandals in recent times.

We Danes were not only ordered to pay alimony to Prince Joachim's ex-wife, we were also cheated out of an explanation as to why the divorce - otherwise described as 'a private matter' - suddenly became our responsibility as payable.

No other European royal houses have managed to lubricate the bill for a royal divorce onto their subjects.

The 170 million kroner the English princess Diana, for example, was presented with when she and Prince Charles were divorced, were taken from Charles' private assets.
The British taxpayers contributed not a single penny to Prince Andrew and Princess Anne divorces. In Spain, King Juan Carlos' eldest daughter, Infanta Elena, divorced her Duke Jamie without their financial balances have ended with the Spanish taxpayers.

It is therefore a quite extraordinary unusual arrangement , Alexandra was with her ​​when she left in 2004 Amalienborg.

It would suit our reformist prime minister, if she immediately set in motion efforts to ensure that Danish taxpayers no longer have to support a woman who, with her background, education and social circle certainly should be able to fend for themselves.

It was no less unusual in 2007 that Alexandra married sound engineer Martin Jørgensen and thus lost her position as a member of the Danish royal family.

I often hear the argument that Alexandra has million to ensure that her and Joachim's sons , Princes Nikolai and Felix, growing up in a position-related conditions.

That's what Joachim took care of already in the divorce.

For as it says in the notes to the bill that formed the basis of the law on Alexandra's millions, child benefits were agreed upon between the parties.

Furthermore, gave Joachim his ex-wife an unencumbered villa in one of the most expensive neighborhoods in Copenhagen, free of charge, just to make sure that the two numbers in succession should not grow up in a two-room concrete slum on the outer Nørrebro overlooking the back patches and burnt out cars.

Yet a majority in parliament were elected in November 2004 to vote for a highly educated, working- woman with a superior network and a myriad of skills to be awarded lifelong luxury dependent on everybody's behalf. Only SF and Alliance voted against it.Perhaps it would have been easier to justify an exorbitant state performance to the countess if she toiled for it, but she does not. It is now very little that we see Alexandra at work, unless, of course, giving an interview with Billed-Bladet belongs in that category.

No, there is no reason to maintain Alexandra on the government financial sheets. The law, which grants her our tax millions until she dies, should simply be scrapped. Period.

And it would suit our reformist prime minister, if she immediately set in motion efforts to ensure that Danish taxpayers no longer have to support a woman who, with her background, education and social circle certainly should be able to fend for herself.



Photo: Thomas Borberg

Looker MeMeMeMeMe! Tour #5,941, Day One: Forget Goddamned George, the Bushfires and Tony Abbott, I'M HERE: Cue the Cute Kids Handing Me Flowers and Gifts. NOW.

"Of course, I am deeply concerned about the, uh, the, uh, cue cards, Sparky!"

Maz's last text to Sparky, her Sydney PR guru, was sent right as she was boarding the plane in Copenhagen. It said to "empty schools, give the little buggers flowers and cameras, tell them to snap snap snap away, cheer LOUD, find someone from Hobart I went to school with, preferably a sheila so people will stop saying I don't have female friends and ask her to hug me when I give the signal - actually, check all my school rosters against the obituaries, see if you can find someone with a dead rello - put up serious barricades so no one else hugs me, make sure all paparazzi are credentialed and have full access, and crank the sun a few degrees so it doesn't melt my makeup or cast bad shadows. I'll be slipping Fred a Xanax a few hours before so he doesn't overtake me. Make sure some big shots are seen in my vicinity, or if you can't find any, hire some actors and make them look impressed with me. Try to put out those fires, too, whydoncha? I cannot afford for a damn baby and some wildfires to steal my thunder. You got it, Sparky?"

Daisy's last text (via secretary) to Franz said to "try and relax and take what you can that is positive. Enjoy the warm sun, the friendly people, all of the greetings by the actors and schoolkids your wife's PR team has hired for the "crowd" events. Don't touch her too much, do step back a few paces, make sure she takes the lead. I know that will not be hard for her, but don't get in her way at all. Try not to do that dreaded hand holding. Those paws have always terrified your papa and me. Be as galant and princely as I had Nanny Else raise you. Remember: 'enough rope'! Good luck, chéri. Oh, and never mind what I said months ago about the beard. Go ahead and keep it. Helps the affect that you've been made sick by this girl and need relief. That will play better into our hands when the time comes. Cheers, darling."

It's a MAZZAgasm! ARE YOU READY? Of course you are! The Danes and Danish press, however, might not be. It is quite clear that Madam prefers Australia to Denmark by leaps! The steadfast Danish press seem to be a little more willing than ever to let the side down. As do the fairy tale-exhausted Australian press. Enjoy!

Video: YouTube/Billed Bladet

Article and Video: The Mercury

It's Mary, the Girl Next Door

It took a few seconds to register this familiar face -- then the guard came down.
   
Princess Mary's carefully crafted royal demeanour suddenly gave way to spontaneity as she reached over the metal gates and warmly embraced a now-recognisable friend like an animated schoolgirl.

Princess Mary isn't just a professional bouquet receiver -- she likes to return the favour from time to time.

And yesterday, as the princess and her raggedy-bearded Crown Prince Frederik began their Australia tour on the steps of the Sydney Opera House, one of her floral-gift recipients had a chance to say a heartfelt and tearful thanks.

It was her neighbour.

Melanie Cleary grew up next door to Mary's family home in Hobart, where they forged a close relationship over childhood make-believe tea and the clash of hockey sticks.

Ms Cleary's mother died four months ago and she was touched to receive a bouquet of flowers from Mary and Fred.

"I thanked her for the bunch of flowers she and Frederik sent when my mother died. She said, 'You are welcome, and we are thinking of you'," Ms Cleary said.

"She's a normal Australian woman with normal family values and she has always been like that. I played hockey against her, I've grown up with her entire family. What has happen to her is remarkable, but she has retained a wonderful normality about her."

The first order of business for Mary was an off-the-cuff speech to the heroes of the NSW bushfires, and those who lost homes, expressing the royal couple's deepest sympathies.

 

**********

Article: Berlingske

Enthusiastic Australians: Welcome Home, Mary

Mary and Frederik will visit Australia in the coming days to celebrate the Opera House's 40th birthday.
It arouses enthusiasm in Crown Princess Mary's homeland.

On the occasion of the 40th celebration of the Danish-designed Opera House, Mary and Frederik have undertaken a packed five-day trip to the other side of the globe. And the royal couple were given a warm welcome Thursday morning (Thursday night Danish time , ed.), when they arrived in the port city of Sydney in Australia to celebrate the Danish designer Jørn Utzon's world-renowned architecture.

A large gathering of people stood ready with flowers, greetings and mobile cameras as the couple paid the Opera House the first official visit on their trip. The attendants waved both Danish flag and the Australian flag as they took pictures of Mary and Frederik, who posed patiently. Since the royal couple met at an Australian pub during the Olympic Games in 2000, Australia was captivated by the fairy-tale romance between the two.

During the five days in Australia the royal couple will visit, in addition to participating in the celebration of the Opera House 40th birthday, a children's hospital and a primary school. They are also present when the Danish jewelery designer Ole Lynggaard opens its flagship store in Sydney.This visit is the first time that the royal couple has visited Australia without their children. The last time the royal couple paid a visit to Princess Mary's home was in 2011.

 

 

 

 

 

Undo editsPhotos: David Gray, Dean Lewins, Keld Navntoft, Rick Rycroft, William West/Scanpix; Pure People

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