Wednesday, September 4, 2013

FAIL: Princess MeMeMeMeMe Poses Through Morocco For Aussie Mags While Visiting Peasants to Push New Diana Image To Australian Public Upon Arrival For Upcoming Opera House Visit

"Well, it kinda looks like the Taj Mahal, donnit?"
 
 
What a buffoon! The sticky-out bum bum is back! Denmark is playing a risky game here, letting this strumpet march right back out into a MENA country on the heels of her Syrian refugee camp debacle, to go to Morocco and strut around like she's in a shampoo commercial. Those headscarves are so helpful to make dramatic reveals, eh, Mares? It's so embarrassing, and worse still, no one seems to be telling her to knock it the fuck off. Cue the heavy cutesy-poo, look-what-you're-missing-Mr. Bach sashaying through sacred mausoleums and sites of industry and charitable expansion.
 
The Mary Fund isn't even doing anything in Morocco, Mary's just there to "observe" (yeah, that'll go over well, the rich white lady looking at The Brown Poors from afar while holding flowers in a blocking gesture) the other organisations doing their work and I suppose "taking something" from her quickie experiences back to The Mary Fund's work in Denmark? In other words, Mary's good at empty corporate-speak, this is all one big photo shoot, with Moroccan security personnel paying to protect her, all to pump up the antipodal natives for Mary's Looker Me! Tour #6 in a couple months. Bitch can't even speak French. She probably giggles when saying "Bonjour" to the locals, after all, to Mary, it's just the language of Henrik and Joachim's Petit Croissant. Useless parasite, that's what you are, Mary.
 
Photo Gallery: Associated Press
 
 
Day One. Visiting the Muhammad V Mausoleum in Rabat.

"And I kinna look like Diana, don' I? The Aussie papers will LOVE this."
 

"Caroline told me about Sonja Ghandasi or some such before we left ..."
 

"She is another gorgeous, Western brunette who also wore these blankets on her head and talked to The Poors."
 

"The secret is making it look like you're a soft, introspective person. That is HARD."
 

"SEE? I'm concentrating SO HARD on not looking at the cameras."
 

"Then after counting to ten, the spell is over. Like my red hot pedi!?"
 
 
"M. A. uh. oh yeah! R. Y!"


"Phew, time to go!"


Day Two. Visiting a Women's Centre in Rabat.

"OMG. This will sell so well in Oz!"
 

"How's this? Look good? Get me at a 3/4 shot, it's the most flattering."
 

"Hello lover! I see your long lens! Tihi!"
 

"Wait, let me toss my hair, let's see how that'll look, OK?"
 

"Hold the shot everyone! This'll make me so beloved at home."
 

"OK, bye-bye, widdle people! Boo-boo-pi-do!"
 

"OK, little brown person, I'll "shake" your finger!"
 

"Aww, hello little Muslim lady person."
 

"Lucky you to be meeting ME!"
 

"I'm a star in Australia, Europe and North America!"
 

"It's like looking at Kate Middleton, innit? I get that A LOT."
 

"I'm super glad this big table and enormous flower arrangement are keeping us at a distance!"
 

"Shit. Didn't think of people sitting on the side."
 

"Me? Sew? You've got to be kidding."
 

"Honey, I don't even know how to boil water."
 

"Awww. What are you girls doing?"
 

"So, they don't seem to speak English, what are they doing?"
 

"Well, that's quite enough for me! I'll not offer you these flowers to enjoy and leave you be!"
 

"It's like the boss lady paid you a courtesy visit, but I didn't even bring you anything!"
 

"Awww. Isn't this sweet? Reminds me of granny's house."
 

"This one reminds me of some of the cheap shit they sell at the Salamanca Market."
 

"Sparky better be picking this shot up. It's a total Miss Australia look with these flowers!"
 

"What? You thought Kate was the only one who could colour her hair? Where do you think she got the idea, hm?"
 
 
 
At a local courthouse.


That face sort of says it all.
 
 
At the Danish Embassy.

"Finally. Around semi-normal people."
 

"This one's for you, CFB! Miss you!"
 

"Yeah, yeah, hej, hej, whatever."
 

"Marie's not the only one who can wear a push up bra and long necklace."

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Sportif!: Derfie Returns From US To Work, That Is, Hanging Out With 10 Year Olds At a Ropes Course (Psst, Fred, That's Not Work)

"I can haz fun, no werk!"
 
 
Upon his return from Newport, USA, where he was competing with the Nanoq during recent Farr 40 events, widdle Fweddie got all dressed up in his freshly pressed clothes to go to a forest to get dirty with children on a ropes course. Derf showed up looking like your scuzzy, ne'er-do-well cousin, the one you've heard your parents whisper and yell about for years but have never been allowed to meet because he's made "some questionable choices" and wouldn't be "a good influence". Ah, that cousin. The one who can't hold down a job, but can score some good weed and play video games with you while telling you inappropriate stories about his carnal adventures. Gud bevare Danmark!

















Bien Jouée!: The "Children's Princess" Marie Visits The University of Southern Denmark's New Student Centre



Billed Bladet has made a shocking revelation. I'm sure The McCann Group Copenhagen is still trying to figure out how to deal with it appropriately, and not by Madam's suggestion of arsenic in the lady's théière. (Who has time to drive all the way out to Schackenborg, anyways? That's where the Danish peasants live, and ain't a one of them brown.) But several recent events prove it to be true.

BB has finally been able to employ the headline that one of it's copy editors came up with about twelve years ago, in anticipation of young Frederik's strapping bogan coming to Denmark to show off in true princess mode, her true maternal nature. Except that the strapping bogan didn't come with a maternal nature. So, headlines were awkwardly deployed until one day there was no more doubting that the second wife of the second son was indeed the rightful carrier of the title. She's soft! Caring! Nice! Sweet! Feminine! The editors couldn't hold back any longer, even in anticipation of the nasty calls from Amalienborg decrying the "mistake". Hey, BB's got to sell rags, and this is right up the alley of kind, elderly royalists, plus it's just the damn truth: Marie is the Children's Princess.

Video: YouTube/Billed Bladet

Article: Fyens.dk

Princess Marie Took A Peek At New Student Centre

Princess Marie inaugurated Odense's new student centre in the former music library at Brandts.

They have worked hard to be ready for the day. But when Princess Marie strolled down the red carpet on Monday afternoon at Brandts, it was a proud bunch of volunteers who welcomed her to Odense's new student house.

The former music library is reborn as a central meeting place for the city's students. With modern decor, colorful bardesks, soft sofas and plenty of room for a party.

"These have been tough weeks, but when I see how fine our house is, I am really proud. I hope it will help to make Odense a great student city, and get the students to realise that they must be in our city when they are finished", said Ida Tanita Sørensen, president of the Odense Student Association.

Along with Mayor Anker Boye (S) and Professor Jens Oddershede, Princess Marie was ushered inside where it was taken care of tour and served local specialties from Funen at a reception on the 1st hall.

The real protagonists - the city's many students - were of course there to see the building for the first time while the music played on Amfiscene: Tower, Christian Hjelm & the Roux Spana Beat Trio.