Billed Bladet #27: The Monaco Wedding

Billed Bladet presents the Monaco wedding as both a relief to give you non-Mary news, but to keep up the side by pretending that it is the "Danish Dream Team" that stole the show on the Mediterranean. Darling Marie got to meet lots of new royal cousins, and was probably highly relaxed and comfortable in a Frenchie context, but Our Man Mary was noticeably unrelaxed, agitated and vibrating with negative & needy energy. The princely brothers they are married to reflect their wives' moods.



During William and Catherine's wedding, BB asked Mary's dress designer Uffe Frank for his opinion on Kate's Alexander McQueen dress. His verdict: an emphatic "ugh!", saying that it wasn't as nice as Mary's. Narcissism, anyone? So, for the Danish fashion designer take on Charlene's dress, BB turned to Jesper Høvring who has no problem praising Armani's design. This Anything To Make Mary Look Good business is very unappealing!





The civil wedding the day before the religious service.





The royal guests arriving.



Looks like Haakon & Mette-Marit and Maxima & Willem-Alexander were planning at day on the beach or out on a boat and had to endure the Danish crown princely couple tagging along. Could Mary look any more tense!? MM and Max look ready to relax and enjoy their downtime, but what a nasty presence Mary seems to be.



The Friday night cocktail party. Mary's hairdo is a major FAIL. She looks even more butch than normal, and this despite a very pretty, draped dress.





While the bridal couple were at a Jean-Michel Jarre son et lumière show near the port, the royals were treated to a cocktail party at the Hotel Hermitage.



Mary glued herself to Camilla de Bourbon Deux-Siciles, the wive of Josephine's godfather Carlos. Camilla and Carlos a few years ago visited their friends Bashar and Alma Al-Assad in Syria and bestowed the Order of Francis I on this tyranical murderer. Nice connections, Mary!



Some of the guests leaving the hotel at the end of the weekend. Marie looks lovely in blue. No surprise she was bid farewell with a gallant baisemain. Mary doesn't have the charm or French language skills to endear herself to the more chauvanist francophone populace on the "Rocher". Vive la difference!





In this week's fashion pages, Danish bridesmaid Isabell Christensen is cited, as well as the wive of one of turkey baster twin Princess Josephine's godfathers. Marie's cute cotton dress & Panama hat combo is a winner for casual chic, and Mathilde's emerald green dress is incredibly flattering. If the stiff robot in the bright pink dress could just relax, she might look fine. Too bad that Mary isn't allowed to take the rubies out of Denmark, but did the glue-on pearls all fall off, or does she realise how bad her little tiara looks with them? Desparation gives off quite a stink!







BB relishes telling you that Freddie's brocade vest was a gift from ex-girlfriend Maria Montell. No wonder Mary was discombobulated!



Mary's giant tear drop necklace laced with pink and blue drops symbolising her children's tears is by Charlotte Lynggaard.



BB seems to be enjoying the Will and Kate show since this is the only young royal couple who can take North America by storm.





The special supplement on the Monaco wedding.